Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[Silver Smudger]

Mary had a little lamb
The Doctors were astounded
Everywhere that Mary went
Gynaecologists surrounded

[Willy Nilly]

LordHaveMurci said:

Peaches Geldop didn't just kill herself, looks like she did for this thread too

too many sensitive, silly people.

[davhill]

Mary had a little lamb
It turned up in a parcel
She didn't like it very much
So she kicked it up the...garden path

[Ayahuasca]

Mary had a little lamb
The poor thing was a runt
She made it lie between her legs
And eat out of her hand

[MartG]

Today in Dublin’s biggest department store, a power outage meant that shoppers were stuck on the escalators for three hours!!

[driverrob]

Enough.
Bring back the Latvian jokes.

[ApOrbital]

Two Latvian look at clouds. One see two potatoes. One see impossible dream.
Is same cloud.

[schmunk]

ApOrbital said:

Two Latvian look at clouds. One see two potatoes. One see impossible dream.
Is same cloud.

1st soldier: "Wow, is deep."

2nd soldier: "No, idiot. Is cloud. Is high."

Crazy soldier: "I has too many potato."

[AW111]

Mary had a little lamb
The butcher killed it dead.
And now she takes her lamb to school
between two bits of bread potato.


Am I doing this right?

[Halmyre]

Mary had a little pig
It wouldn't stop its gruntin'
She tied it to the garden gate
And kicked its little head in

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jill came down with half-a-crown
But not for fetching water!

Remember the second one from The Benny Hill Show, I think...

[K12beano]

Halmyre said:

Remember the second one from The Benny Hill Show, I think...

I remember it from yesterday afternoon.....

[Jasandjules]

Mary had a little lamb,
She tied it to a pylon,
But 20,000 volts when up it's bum
And turned it's wool to nylon

[Adenauer]

Jasandjules said:

Mary had a little lamb,
She tied it to a pylon,
But 20,000 volts when up it's bum
And turned it's wool to nylon

07.12.2015

11:38

[PoleDriver]

This channel must be Sean Connery joke +1

[Adenauer]

Poley, your time is limited

[MartG]

My mate from Liverpool has just got his kids a couple of bikes and a trampoline for Christmas
I asked him what website he saw then on
"Google Earth"

[Hooli]

PoleDriver said:

This channel must be Sean Connery joke +1

[Kenty]

Halmyre said:

Mary had a little pig
It wouldn't stop its gruntin'
She tied it to the garden gate
And kicked its little head in

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jill came down with half-a-crown
But not for fetching water!

Remember the second one from The Benny Hill Show, I think...

About 11 posts up maybe?

[Ayahuasca]

Mary had a little potato
She wasn't very fussy
She sat upon it by mistake
And it went right up her skirt

[Ayahuasca]

Mary was a Latvian
She wore a dirty cape
The soldiers chased her to the barn
And Mary they did say hello to