Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)
Discussion
Vipers said:
My Geordie girlfriend was in the swimming pool and smiled at the handsome lifeguard as he walked by.
He said “Are you flirting?”
She replied “No, my feet are on the bottom”.
My Geordie girlfriend went into a hair salon in Sunderland and asked for a perm.He said “Are you flirting?”
She replied “No, my feet are on the bottom”.
"I wandered lernly as a clood" said the receptionist.
littleredrooster said:
Caruso said:
y Geordie girlfriend went into a hair salon in Sunderland and asked for a perm.
"I wandered lernly as a clood" said the receptionist.
Geordies live in/around Newcassel. Mackems live in/around Sunderland. They sound nowt like each other. Ne'er the twain shall meet..."I wandered lernly as a clood" said the receptionist.
Caruso said:
littleredrooster said:
Caruso said:
y Geordie girlfriend went into a hair salon in Sunderland and asked for a perm.
"I wandered lernly as a clood" said the receptionist.
Geordies live in/around Newcassel. Mackems live in/around Sunderland. They sound nowt like each other. Ne'er the twain shall meet..."I wandered lernly as a clood" said the receptionist.
Caruso said:
littleredrooster said:
Caruso said:
y Geordie girlfriend went into a hair salon in Sunderland and asked for a perm.
"I wandered lernly as a clood" said the receptionist.
Geordies live in/around Newcassel. Mackems live in/around Sunderland. They sound nowt like each other. Ne'er the twain shall meet..."I wandered lernly as a clood" said the receptionist.
littleredrooster said:
Caruso said:
littleredrooster said:
Caruso said:
y Geordie girlfriend went into a hair salon in Sunderland and asked for a perm.
"I wandered lernly as a clood" said the receptionist.
Geordies live in/around Newcassel. Mackems live in/around Sunderland. They sound nowt like each other. Ne'er the twain shall meet..."I wandered lernly as a clood" said the receptionist.
- Liverpool to Manchester is three times that (still stupid tribalism, though).
Mick Jagger and Keith Richard were cruising down the coast.
Coming around a bend they saw a magnificent bald eagle in the middle of the road. When Mick swerved to miss it he lost control of the car & they plummeted off a cliff to their deaths.
A tragic case of killing two stones with one bird.
Coming around a bend they saw a magnificent bald eagle in the middle of the road. When Mick swerved to miss it he lost control of the car & they plummeted off a cliff to their deaths.
A tragic case of killing two stones with one bird.
There was an old man who lived by a forest.
As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair and on his deathbed he was completely bald.
That day, he called his children to his room and said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair. What I want you to do,” the man continued, “is every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's calling to keep this forest strong."
And so they did.
Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.
And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.
As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair and on his deathbed he was completely bald.
That day, he called his children to his room and said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair. What I want you to do,” the man continued, “is every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's calling to keep this forest strong."
And so they did.
Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.
And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.
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