Thinking of leaving the OH
Discussion
Pit Pony said:
Adenauer said:
Pit Pony said:
I sat in the Sand dunes on Saturday with my little Dog wondering what life would be like without my wife. Not because I'm thinking of leaving her, but because her GP has found a lump on her kidney, and she's having a scan tomorrow, and she's not been very well for a few weeks.
I decided that, despite her telling me that I'm free to look for the love of a good woman once she's gone, I'd probably just take to trolling s
te on the internet, and perhaps buy a turnover jig for the garage. That's what my kids would prefer too. I think.
Best of luck, let's hope it all turns out okay for you, fingers crossed. I decided that, despite her telling me that I'm free to look for the love of a good woman once she's gone, I'd probably just take to trolling s
te on the internet, and perhaps buy a turnover jig for the garage. That's what my kids would prefer too. I think. 
Adenauer said:
Pit Pony said:
Adenauer said:
Pit Pony said:
I sat in the Sand dunes on Saturday with my little Dog wondering what life would be like without my wife. Not because I'm thinking of leaving her, but because her GP has found a lump on her kidney, and she's having a scan tomorrow, and she's not been very well for a few weeks.
I decided that, despite her telling me that I'm free to look for the love of a good woman once she's gone, I'd probably just take to trolling ste on the internet, and perhaps buy a turnover jig for the garage. That's what my kids would prefer too. I think.
Best of luck, let's hope it all turns out okay for you, fingers crossed. I decided that, despite her telling me that I'm free to look for the love of a good woman once she's gone, I'd probably just take to trolling s
te on the internet, and perhaps buy a turnover jig for the garage. That's what my kids would prefer too. I think. 
Really pleased to hear it.
NiceCupOfTea said:
How would you feel about her with a new bloke, bringing up your kid?
Having kids is exhausting, chances are you have not been making an effort or thinking about her as anything other than a mother. Try it before you make a rash decision.
Having kids is exhausting, chances are you have not been making an effort or thinking about her as anything other than a mother. Try it before you make a rash decision.
RedWhiteMonkey said:
I'm going to be very blunt with my advice.
Stay, unless you can live with the guilt of fking someone over and walking out on your child. As for the old "friend", stop thinking with your dick.
I think you have all the answers and advice that you need in these 2 early replies.Stay, unless you can live with the guilt of f
king someone over and walking out on your child. As for the old "friend", stop thinking with your dick.Edited by RedWhiteMonkey on Tuesday 30th September 12:55
The spark does go when the 2 of you becomes 3 or 4.
I can relate to that entirely but you are quite clearly being steered towards a big mistake with the old flame.
You don't appear to have any other sound reason for leaving other than you don't fancy your fiancée any longer.
You'd be making a huge mistake in jumping out of your current frying pan and into the fire.
Good luck OP.
Haven't had a chance to read the entire thread. However OP I was in your shoes earlier this year. My relationship was a bit limp; felt as though I had grown apart from my wife and all was a bit stale. We had a chil and that changes a lot of the dynamic.
I met somoene at work, they gave me a lot of attention and kept pushing. They knew I had a child and almost manipulated me looking back on how understanding and caring they would be towards my daughter if anyhting happend.
I intially said thanks but no thanks, but one work night out led to me walking her back to station and we kissed. I said that was a mistake but we still went out for dinner etc a couple of times after, I reasoned with myself and went out as "we're just friends" in the mindset but that failed. I liked the attention at the beginning and didn't really think about what I was doing (didn't sleep with her) but after a few days I was mortified at my actions and came clean to my wife.
I don't think I ever wanted to leave my wife and can't work out why I didn't keep my hands to myself. Totally out of character for me.
The last 6 months have been pretty painful for our relationship, my wife reacted badly at the betrayl and her mind constantly ran to conclusions that didn't happen. She told family which has caused discomfort.
I am now thankful I've been 90% forgiven. I couldn't bare not to have my wife in my life. And the thought of not seeing my daughter everyday is horrible.
So to the OP I would seriously consider what could happen and what you will lose if you persue. The new person is exciting but the grass isn't usually greener. My wife and I have sorted a lot of the problems that led to our "staleness" out and actively make an effort. We're actually in a better place relationship wise but she and I will always be disappointed at what happened. And you'll never change that.
I met somoene at work, they gave me a lot of attention and kept pushing. They knew I had a child and almost manipulated me looking back on how understanding and caring they would be towards my daughter if anyhting happend.
I intially said thanks but no thanks, but one work night out led to me walking her back to station and we kissed. I said that was a mistake but we still went out for dinner etc a couple of times after, I reasoned with myself and went out as "we're just friends" in the mindset but that failed. I liked the attention at the beginning and didn't really think about what I was doing (didn't sleep with her) but after a few days I was mortified at my actions and came clean to my wife.
I don't think I ever wanted to leave my wife and can't work out why I didn't keep my hands to myself. Totally out of character for me.
The last 6 months have been pretty painful for our relationship, my wife reacted badly at the betrayl and her mind constantly ran to conclusions that didn't happen. She told family which has caused discomfort.
I am now thankful I've been 90% forgiven. I couldn't bare not to have my wife in my life. And the thought of not seeing my daughter everyday is horrible.
So to the OP I would seriously consider what could happen and what you will lose if you persue. The new person is exciting but the grass isn't usually greener. My wife and I have sorted a lot of the problems that led to our "staleness" out and actively make an effort. We're actually in a better place relationship wise but she and I will always be disappointed at what happened. And you'll never change that.
decadent said:
So to the OP I would seriously consider what could happen and what you will lose if you persue.
I think the principal cause of consternation in this thread was that the OP seemed to believe that virtually nothing would change with his daughter, and people trying to disabuse him of this rather sweet, but ultimately gigantically misguided notion - and make him realise that going with the OW would lead to him losing a lot of his life with his little girl. OP,
Since you've taken on a new ID for the sake of this post, why do you feel the need to defend yourself to the people calling you out? You can just ignore it, and continue posting under your normal handle elsewhere with your reputation unbesmirched.
To be honest I find it very telling. Pretty much every one of your posts (yes, I have been following the whole thread from the start) since the first one has been to defend yourself. Or your wife. Or the other woman. Everyone is innocent and only of the best intentions according to you so far. Compare to ABD, where he constantly - wrongly - pinned the blame on himself in that thread for the best part of 6 months or whatever it was.
From the outset in this thread it all seemed to be stemming from an ego issue with you. Almost every one of your subsequent posts has confirmed that for me, as you strive to keep your good - yet assumed - name out of the mud. This might explain why the advice you are getting is so unanimous.
ABD was worthy of sympathy. You're just not I'm afraid. The problems with your OH don't sound particularly grave, your concerns for your daughter: insincere (in so far as you think she'd be better off without you because you won't be able to put a brave face on for her), and your insistence on keeping the new love interest sweet in the interim is fairly pathetic. I'll say it once again: ego.
Despite not posting much of any real substance, I think what you have said has given away an awful lot about you.
I don't expect you to post back about having a change of heart.
Since you've taken on a new ID for the sake of this post, why do you feel the need to defend yourself to the people calling you out? You can just ignore it, and continue posting under your normal handle elsewhere with your reputation unbesmirched.
To be honest I find it very telling. Pretty much every one of your posts (yes, I have been following the whole thread from the start) since the first one has been to defend yourself. Or your wife. Or the other woman. Everyone is innocent and only of the best intentions according to you so far. Compare to ABD, where he constantly - wrongly - pinned the blame on himself in that thread for the best part of 6 months or whatever it was.
From the outset in this thread it all seemed to be stemming from an ego issue with you. Almost every one of your subsequent posts has confirmed that for me, as you strive to keep your good - yet assumed - name out of the mud. This might explain why the advice you are getting is so unanimous.
ABD was worthy of sympathy. You're just not I'm afraid. The problems with your OH don't sound particularly grave, your concerns for your daughter: insincere (in so far as you think she'd be better off without you because you won't be able to put a brave face on for her), and your insistence on keeping the new love interest sweet in the interim is fairly pathetic. I'll say it once again: ego.
Despite not posting much of any real substance, I think what you have said has given away an awful lot about you.
I don't expect you to post back about having a change of heart.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff