Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)

[EarlOfHazard]

What did socialists use before candles?

Electricity.

[NoVetec]

[Troubleatmill]

And another.

[Frimley111R]

alorotom said:

I like that!

Very good...and true

[The Dangerous Elk]

[Ructions]

[AW111]

A man walks into the doctor's and says "Doctor, I want you to look at my penis"

So they go into the surgery, he flops it out, and at the end of a thorough examination, the doctor tells him there's nothing wrong with it at all.
"I know - isn't it a beauty?"

[NoVetec]

AW111 said:

A man walks into the doctor's and says "Doctor, I want you to look at my penis"

So they go into the surgery, he flops it out, and at the end of a thorough examination, the doctor tells him there's nothing wrong with it at all.
"I know - isn't it a beauty?"

The Urethral Tubes - He's a Beauty.

[nonsequitur]

NoVetec said:

AW111 said:

A man walks into the doctor's and says "Doctor, I want you to look at my penis"

So they go into the surgery, he flops it out, and at the end of a thorough examination, the doctor tells him there's nothing wrong with it at all.
"I know - isn't it a beauty?"

The Urethral Tubes -

I prefer their earlier stuff.

[Fastchas]

EarlOfHazard said:

What did socialists use before candles?

Electricity.

...will someone explain this one please? I'm struggling...

[simoid]

Fastchas said:

...will someone explain this one please? I'm struggling...

Start by working out if socialism tends to succeed or fail, then go from there... does that help?

[The Dangerous Elk]

simoid said:

Fastchas said:

...will someone explain this one please? I'm struggling...

Start by working out if socialism tends to succeed or fail, then go from there... does that help?

Name does not match question

[Frank7]

The Dangerous Elk said:

Someone WhatsApped me a similar one, but it said,
being a West Ham fan isn’t stressful, Charlie, aged 26.

[Trophy Husband]

On a theme.

Bloke goes to confession full of guilt.

The priest says "Do you masturbate?"

The man says "Its a little personal, but yes."

the priest says "Its flucking brilliant isn't it!!"

[Bright Halo]

Man goes to the doctor and says I have a problem with my penis.
Doctor takes a look and and says in all my years that is the smallest penis I have ever seen. It is quite remarkable to see one so small.
Anyway what is wrong with it?

It’s swollen

[Vipers]

Bad news for dyslexics, on the 28th October, your cocks go black.

[mickk]

[captain_cynic]

Vipers said:

Bad news for dyslexics, on the 28th October, your cocks go black.

That's my kind of childish humour.

BTW, I have a large spine.

[tezzer]

[mickk]

I had a difficult, emotional talk with my 9-year-old son this morning. There was a lot of crying and "nobody wants me on their team" and "I haven't got any friends".




Anyway, he was very nice about it and gave me some good tips for being more sociable.