Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2
Discussion
nonsequitur said:
glenrobbo said:
The Mad Monk said:
For spelling missus as Mrs, go and wait outside the Head's study.
I think you'd better have a look at the thread title before casting such nasturtiums. And I'm not your missus.
But we're all related if you go back far enough...
Yesterday the OH asked what our new petrol lawnmower runs on, when my obvious answer of petrol came back she asked where we got the petrol from. I looked at her astounded and said "the petrol station" then came "what? the petrol station we fill our cars up at? How do you take the lawn mower there to fill it up?"
Second one this morning, I couldn't open a jar of beetroot for her sandwiches. Struggling to open as I'm missing a few digits on one hand (think Jeremy Beadle, but worse) and she starts mocking me with the likes of "haha as if you have to get a woman to open a jar for you" to which I just held my hand up and said I can't even hold it, then came "How long have you had that!?"
We've been together 4 years and she's known since day 1. She's also a Lawyer so not exactly thick, just doesn't think sometimes.
Second one this morning, I couldn't open a jar of beetroot for her sandwiches. Struggling to open as I'm missing a few digits on one hand (think Jeremy Beadle, but worse) and she starts mocking me with the likes of "haha as if you have to get a woman to open a jar for you" to which I just held my hand up and said I can't even hold it, then came "How long have you had that!?"
We've been together 4 years and she's known since day 1. She's also a Lawyer so not exactly thick, just doesn't think sometimes.
Not the missus, but a friend popped round yesterday evening. She brought a bottle of Prosecco so we walked into the kitchen together to stick it in the fridge. My washing machine was running, just finishing off a tumble dry cycle (the tumble dry spin is almost silent compared to the normal wash cycle). She felt the need to point it out, and I felt a little mischievous.
Her: "Wow, your machine is so quiet!"
Me: "Yeah, it's one of the new electric washing machines. Like electric cars, they're so much quieter than the old ones."
Her: "That's so cool!"
Fast forward to a bit later when she's on her phone googling "electric washing machine for sale"
Her: "Wow, there are loads for sale! I should pick one up, my machine is really loud."
I still don't think she's worked out that pretty much every washing machine sold these days is electric.
Her: "Wow, your machine is so quiet!"
Me: "Yeah, it's one of the new electric washing machines. Like electric cars, they're so much quieter than the old ones."
Her: "That's so cool!"
Fast forward to a bit later when she's on her phone googling "electric washing machine for sale"
Her: "Wow, there are loads for sale! I should pick one up, my machine is really loud."
I still don't think she's worked out that pretty much every washing machine sold these days is electric.
Feirny said:
Yesterday the OH asked what our new petrol lawnmower runs on, when my obvious answer of petrol came back she asked where we got the petrol from. I looked at her astounded and said "the petrol station" then came "what? the petrol station we fill our cars up at? How do you take the lawn mower there to fill it up?"
Second one this morning, I couldn't open a jar of beetroot for her sandwiches. Struggling to open as I'm missing a few digits on one hand (think Jeremy Beadle, but worse) and she starts mocking me with the likes of "haha as if you have to get a woman to open a jar for you" to which I just held my hand up and said I can't even hold it, then came "How long have you had that!?"
We've been together 4 years and she's known since day 1. She's also a Lawyer so not exactly thick, just doesn't think sometimes.
Those are great.... what was she thinking in terms of your hand?! Maybe just embarrassed at her clumsiness?Second one this morning, I couldn't open a jar of beetroot for her sandwiches. Struggling to open as I'm missing a few digits on one hand (think Jeremy Beadle, but worse) and she starts mocking me with the likes of "haha as if you have to get a woman to open a jar for you" to which I just held my hand up and said I can't even hold it, then came "How long have you had that!?"
We've been together 4 years and she's known since day 1. She's also a Lawyer so not exactly thick, just doesn't think sometimes.
Second Best said:
Not the missus, but a friend popped round yesterday evening. She brought a bottle of Prosecco so we walked into the kitchen together to stick it in the fridge. My washing machine was running, just finishing off a tumble dry cycle (the tumble dry spin is almost silent compared to the normal wash cycle). She felt the need to point it out, and I felt a little mischievous.
Her: "Wow, your machine is so quiet!"
Me: "Yeah, it's one of the new electric washing machines. Like electric cars, they're so much quieter than the old ones."
Her: "That's so cool!"
Fast forward to a bit later when she's on her phone googling "electric washing machine for sale"
Her: "Wow, there are loads for sale! I should pick one up, my machine is really loud."
I still don't think she's worked out that pretty much every washing machine sold these days is electric.
Female friend, playful fun eh. On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you secretly want to fHer: "Wow, your machine is so quiet!"
Me: "Yeah, it's one of the new electric washing machines. Like electric cars, they're so much quieter than the old ones."
Her: "That's so cool!"
Fast forward to a bit later when she's on her phone googling "electric washing machine for sale"
Her: "Wow, there are loads for sale! I should pick one up, my machine is really loud."
I still don't think she's worked out that pretty much every washing machine sold these days is electric.
k this woman? I am estimating you are 9.5.Blown2CV said:
Second Best said:
Not the missus, but a friend popped round yesterday evening. She brought a bottle of Prosecco so we walked into the kitchen together to stick it in the fridge. My washing machine was running, just finishing off a tumble dry cycle (the tumble dry spin is almost silent compared to the normal wash cycle). She felt the need to point it out, and I felt a little mischievous.
Her: "Wow, your machine is so quiet!"
Me: "Yeah, it's one of the new electric washing machines. Like electric cars, they're so much quieter than the old ones."
Her: "That's so cool!"
Fast forward to a bit later when she's on her phone googling "electric washing machine for sale"
Her: "Wow, there are loads for sale! I should pick one up, my machine is really loud."
I still don't think she's worked out that pretty much every washing machine sold these days is electric.
Female friend, playful fun eh. On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you secretly want to fHer: "Wow, your machine is so quiet!"
Me: "Yeah, it's one of the new electric washing machines. Like electric cars, they're so much quieter than the old ones."
Her: "That's so cool!"
Fast forward to a bit later when she's on her phone googling "electric washing machine for sale"
Her: "Wow, there are loads for sale! I should pick one up, my machine is really loud."
I still don't think she's worked out that pretty much every washing machine sold these days is electric.
k this woman? I am estimating you are 9.5.alorotom said:
Blown2CV said:
Female friend, playful fun eh. On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you secretly want to fk this woman? I am estimating you are 9.5.
Irrelevant, such discussion is blatant friend-zone territory.k this woman? I am estimating you are 9.5.NDA said:
Feirny said:
Yesterday the OH asked what our new petrol lawnmower runs on, when my obvious answer of petrol came back she asked where we got the petrol from. I looked at her astounded and said "the petrol station" then came "what? the petrol station we fill our cars up at? How do you take the lawn mower there to fill it up?"
Second one this morning, I couldn't open a jar of beetroot for her sandwiches. Struggling to open as I'm missing a few digits on one hand (think Jeremy Beadle, but worse) and she starts mocking me with the likes of "haha as if you have to get a woman to open a jar for you" to which I just held my hand up and said I can't even hold it, then came "How long have you had that!?"
We've been together 4 years and she's known since day 1. She's also a Lawyer so not exactly thick, just doesn't think sometimes.
Those are great.... what was she thinking in terms of your hand?! Maybe just embarrassed at her clumsiness?Second one this morning, I couldn't open a jar of beetroot for her sandwiches. Struggling to open as I'm missing a few digits on one hand (think Jeremy Beadle, but worse) and she starts mocking me with the likes of "haha as if you have to get a woman to open a jar for you" to which I just held my hand up and said I can't even hold it, then came "How long have you had that!?"
We've been together 4 years and she's known since day 1. She's also a Lawyer so not exactly thick, just doesn't think sometimes.
Feirny said:
Yesterday the OH asked what our new petrol lawnmower runs on, when my obvious answer of petrol came back she asked where we got the petrol from. I looked at her astounded and said "the petrol station" then came "what? the petrol station we fill our cars up at? How do you take the lawn mower there to fill it up?"
Oh good grief.
Second Best said:
Feel free to draw your own conclusions as I'm quite comfortable with my sexual life.
To give you some free ammunition, when she left this morning she said "I hope the motorway isn't too trafficated"
I know it's good England but I've never heard anybody say that before.
so she stayed overTo give you some free ammunition, when she left this morning she said "I hope the motorway isn't too trafficated"
I know it's good England but I've never heard anybody say that before.
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