Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[cmvtec]

cuprabob said:

cmvtec said:

When accompanying me to collect the linen suit I purchased when she was on holiday last week.

"Can't believe you've bought this. You'll look like the man from Monte Carlo".

Hope you said "Yes"

I couldn't say anything for all the people presenting me with fruit...

[cuprabob]

cmvtec said:

cuprabob said:

cmvtec said:

When accompanying me to collect the linen suit I purchased when she was on holiday last week.

"Can't believe you've bought this. You'll look like the man from Monte Carlo".

Hope you said "Yes"

I couldn't say anything for all the people presenting me with fruit...

[bobtail4x4]

Last week in an old village hall,
I said its abut 200 yrs old looking at it, she sain "no its fairly new"

look at the brickwork said I,

"you can buy old bricks you know"

I gave up.

[Monkeylegend]

bobtail4x4 said:

Last week in an old village hall,
I said its abut 200 yrs old looking at it, she sain "no its fairly new"

look at the brickwork said I,

"you can buy old bricks you know"

I gave up.

But it could have been newly built with old bricks.

[Adam B]

CoolHands said:

I had a girlfriend who one early morning pronounced we should get ‘up and Adam’
Me: what?
Her: up and Adam
Me: had to explain its up and at ‘em

what was her name?

[singlecoil]

Monkeylegend said:

bobtail4x4 said:

Last week in an old village hall,
I said its abut 200 yrs old looking at it, she sain "no its fairly new"

look at the brickwork said I,

"you can buy old bricks you know"

I gave up.

But it could have been newly built with old bricks.

If it had been it would have had to have been built to current regulations, and would look a lot different to a 200 year old building.

[StanleyT]

Driving along at 1:45pm listening to radio 2.

Wife pipes up.

Her: "Hold on, didn't the news say a few minutes ago that this show has been cancelled, why is it still on?".
Me: "Cancelled show was Jeremy Kyle".
Her: "This is Jeremy Kyle isn't it".
Me: "No, this is Jeremy Vine".
Her: "Jeremy Vile, isn't that why it was cancelled".
Me: "No, this man is called Jeremy Vine, the cancelled show is Jeremy Kyle".
Her: "Oh, so this Jeremy Vine has replaced Jeremy Kyle".........
Me: "Erm, yeah, OK".

...you can tell we don't watch much TV in our household........................

[Skyedriver]

StanleyT said:

Driving along at 1:45pm listening to radio 2.

Wife pipes up.

Her: "Hold on, didn't the news say a few minutes ago that this show has been cancelled, why is it still on?".
Me: "Cancelled show was Jeremy Kyle".
Her: "This is Jeremy Kyle isn't it".
Me: "No, this is Jeremy Vine".
Her: "Jeremy Vile, isn't that why it was cancelled".
Me: "No, this man is called Jeremy Vine, the cancelled show is Jeremy Kyle".
Her: "Oh, so this Jeremy Vine has replaced Jeremy Kyle".........
Me: "Erm, yeah, OK".

...you can tell we don't watch much TV in our household........................

I get the two mixed up as well! Never watched J. Kyle. Honest!

[CharlesdeGaulle]

J Vine is even more of a than J Kyle.

[singlecoil]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

J Vine is even more of a than J Kyle.

I have never ever watched even an excerpt of Jeremy Kyle, but I wholeheartedly agree with you because J Vine is more of a that anyone.

[driverrob]

OH knows I've ordered a vernier caliper but didn't ask why I needed it.
Today she asked "Are you going to wear the callipers under or on top of your trousers?"
When I'd stopped laughing I showed her the picture from the advert. She claimed to recognise the item. I'm not so sure.

[NateWM]

Driving around the other day, sun beating down, lovely hot temparature...

Her - "Why don't we have boiling rain?"
Me - *trying not to crash the car* "What??"
Her - "On a hot day when it rains...Why doesn't the rain water burn us? Surely it's hot enough up there?"
Me - "What happens to water when it gets to boiling point...."
Her - "You can make tea and coffee with it?"
Me - "Well I mean....you have me there."

If it wasn't for the fact she is so dainty and innocent, I would have happily mocked most of her questions and remarks.

Few other key moments include being in specsavers and trying on the glasses to choose a frame "Wow...My eyes must not be that bad, I can't notice any difference!" she says while flicking the glasses up and down. Or even the other evening, attempting to sharpen a kitchen knife to cut the potatoes, except using a bread knife and then being dissapointed at all the chunks she has just taken out of her favourite cutting knife. The mind boggles!

[shakotan]

Order66 said:

Me: look at this picture of how they x-ray small children


Her: what, at the airport?!

Also her: Do they have lids on the tubes?

Blimey, the new episode of "Will It Blend?" has taken a dark turn...

[Fermit and Sexy Sarah]

Her, asking to ask if we can pick up a Gumtree table for her allotment this evening.

Her - Ooooops, I think I've made a boo boo, sounds like the legs are massive
Me - why's that matter, your allotment's massive, it will be fine
Her - noooooo, I meant for fitting it the car.
Me - darling, we can get 2.4 metres length in our car, what is this table for, the BFG?!

[generationx]

Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:

Her, asking to ask if we can pick up a Gumtree table for her allotment this evening.

Her - Ooooops, I think I've made a boo boo, sounds like the legs are massive
Me - why's that matter, your allotment's massive, it will be fine
Her - noooooo, I meant for fitting it the car.
Me - darling, we can get 2.4 metres length in our car, what is this table for, the BFG?!

I'm going to need help with this one.

[SpeckledJim]

Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:

Her, asking to ask if we can pick up a Gumtree table for her allotment this evening.

Her - Ooooops, I think I've made a boo boo, sounds like the legs are massive
Me - why's that matter, your allotment's massive, it will be fine
Her - noooooo, I meant for fitting it the car.
Me - darling, we can get 2.4 metres length in our car, what is this table for, the BFG?!

dungeddit, sorry.

[Fermit and Sexy Sarah]

She thought the legs may be too big to fit in the car. It's a dismantled table. The legs won't be longer than 2.4 metres, probably no more than a metre long. BFG the character, The Big Friendly Giant.

[Doofus]

Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:

She thought the legs may be too big to fit in the car. It's a dismantled table. The legs won't be longer than 2.4 metres, probably no more than a metre long. BFG the character, The Big Friendly Giant.

You'll look a bit less smug when you get there and find the top won't fit in the car.

[Fermit and Sexy Sarah]

Doofus said:

Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:

She thought the legs may be too big to fit in the car. It's a dismantled table. The legs won't be longer than 2.4 metres, probably no more than a metre long. BFG the character, The Big Friendly Giant.

You'll look a bit less smug when you get there and find the top won't fit in the car.

Luckily this has already been accounted for, being in 3 pieces

[Doofus]

Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:

Luckily this has already been accounted for, being in 3 pieces

But how big are the pieces? You can only get 2.4m in the car, remember.