Good Quotes

Author
Discussion

TwigtheWonderkid

43,599 posts

151 months

Tuesday 31st August 2021
quotequote all
pits said:
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, don't teach a man to fish and feed yourself, he's a grown man and fishing is not that hard
Ron Swanson.
Built a man a fire and he's warm for a day, set him on fire and he's warm for life.

BryanC

1,107 posts

239 months

Tuesday 31st August 2021
quotequote all
' I've disappointed a lot of ladies in my time '

Sharing my own quote - used quite often to get me out of multiple difficult situations.
Avoids any unrealistic expectations of me.
( Widowed, single, retired, still having a good social diary but not wishing to get tied down at my time of life )

TwigtheWonderkid

43,599 posts

151 months

Tuesday 31st August 2021
quotequote all
Good fortune weighs very little, but few are strong enough to hold on to it.

Lord E38

53 posts

34 months

Thursday 2nd September 2021
quotequote all
"It would be better if there were nothing. Since there is more pain than pleasure on earth, every satisfaction is only transitory, creating new desires and new distresses, and the agony of the devoured animal is always far greater than the pleasure of the devourer." - Arthur Schopenhauer

Mr Squarekins

1,052 posts

63 months

Thursday 2nd September 2021
quotequote all
You know nothing,
in fact you know less than nothing.
If you knew that you knew nothing, it'd be something,
but you don't.

Mr Squarekins

1,052 posts

63 months

Thursday 2nd September 2021
quotequote all
Duck Soup:

"Will you marry me? Are you rich? Answer the second question first" - Groucho Marx

Dr Jekyll

23,820 posts

262 months

Saturday 4th September 2021
quotequote all
'When I am weaker than you, I ask you for Freedom, because that is according to your principles; when I am Stronger than you, I take away your freedom because that is according to my principles.'

Frank Herbert, Children of Dune

andy_s

19,421 posts

260 months

Saturday 4th September 2021
quotequote all
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

Smoggy XJR

550 posts

71 months

Saturday 4th September 2021
quotequote all
Fruit bats like a banana, Gotham bats like an angel.

Smoggy XJR

550 posts

71 months

Saturday 4th September 2021
quotequote all
FGS, iI changed that!

Obviously Botham.

Error_404_Username_not_found

2,267 posts

52 months

Saturday 4th September 2021
quotequote all
Johnny Rotten aka John Lydon, on the steps of the High Court after the ruling that "Never Mind the B@ll@cks" was not obscene...
Reporter: How do you feel about the verdict"?
Johnny: "Great! bks is legal! bks, bks, bks"!

Live on the BBC news. Cracked me right up.

Error_404_Username_not_found

2,267 posts

52 months

Saturday 4th September 2021
quotequote all
One I spotted by accident in the Yellow Pages alphabetical list of headings, sometime in the late 80s.

Boring: see Civil Engineers.

(Sadly BT removed it from later editions, the spoilsports).

pingu393

7,888 posts

206 months

Saturday 4th September 2021
quotequote all
Scabutz said:
I had a good one the other day I liked. It was about doing tough endurance events, which I like doing.

"90% of it is mental, the other 10% is in your head".

No idea who said it first.
"Pain is mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter"

"If you want Sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between st and Syphillis"

pingu393

7,888 posts

206 months

Sunday 5th September 2021
quotequote all
The Mad Monk said:
pigeyman said:
SVX said:
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't climb a ladder with a bell in each hand" - Vic Reeves.
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't stop it from shoving Lego up it's bum." - Will McKenzie
You can take a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
"You can lead a horse to water, but a donkey must be a pencil"

stevemiller

537 posts

166 months

Sunday 5th September 2021
quotequote all
Mr Squarekins said:
Duck Soup:

"Will you marry me? Are you rich? Answer the second question first" - Groucho Marx
One of many, and up there with his best.

Swift93

250 posts

34 months

Sunday 5th September 2021
quotequote all
"Thousands have lived without love, not one without water."

W. H. Auden

“There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn't true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true.”

Soren Kierkegaard


Cudd Wudd

1,089 posts

126 months

Sunday 5th September 2021
quotequote all
Danny Vinyard with help from Abraham L:

So I guess this is where I tell you what I learned - my conclusion, right?

Well, my conclusion is: Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it.

Derek says it's always good to end a paper with a quote. He says someone else has already said it best. So if you can't top it, steal from them and go out strong. So I picked a guy I thought you'd like.

'We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.'

In hindsight, starting sentences with 'so' 3 times was unlikely to find you friends on here, Danny.

Cudd Wudd

1,089 posts

126 months

Sunday 5th September 2021
quotequote all
"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them." Andy Bernard

"It’s like I used to tell my wife. I do not apologise unless I think I’m wrong, and if you don’t like it, you can leave. And I say the same thing to my current wife, and I’ll say it to my next one, too.” Stanley Hudson

“Would I ever leave this company? Look, I’m all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I’m being paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued loyalty more highly… I’m going wherever they value loyalty the most.” Dwight Schrute

Sporky

6,432 posts

65 months

Sunday 5th September 2021
quotequote all
Mrs Bradley - "There are three golden rules to raising a child. Sadly, no-one knows what any of them are."

Doofus

26,040 posts

174 months

Sunday 5th September 2021
quotequote all
Lee Mack:

"My wife and I always thought we wanted three kids, but now that we've got two, we've decided we only want one."