Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)

[Evangelion]

That joke doesn't work, a thousand pounds is still quite generous.



(Err ... so I've been told ...)

[Vipers]

Evangelion said:

That joke doesn't work, a thousand pounds is still quite generous.



(Err ... so I've been told ...)

Sorted for you............................................

[grumpy52]

The difference between a snowflake and a jet engine ?
Eventually a jet engine stops whining.

[grumpy52]

[Doofus]

grumpy52 said:

Subway only do 6 or 12 inch sandwiches though.

[Ultra Sound Guy]

[nonsequitur]

Doofus said:

grumpy52 said:

Subway only do 6 or 12 inch sandwiches though.

That's me well and truly stuffed.

[The Dangerous Elk]

Doofus said:

Subway only do 6 or 12 inch sandwiches though.

Have you eaten the 12 inch one to quickly ? Your "Humour Hole" seems to be blocked.

[nonsequitur]

The Dangerous Elk said:

Doofus said:

Subway only do 6 or 12 inch sandwiches though.

Have you eaten the 12 inch one to quickly ? Your "Humour Hole" seems to be blocked.

Is that in the same area as your Comedy Canal?

[john2443]

Vipers said:

CanAm said:

grumpy52 said:

Snowflakes try to rewrite history .

Even if Caleb is a Flat Earther, his theory conveniently overlooks the fact that the Japanese planes were all carrier-based.

Was that the dry run for the attack in 1941

It was all a mistake anyway, the original order said Attack Poole Harbour but it got lost in translation. If they'd have bombed Poole, the yanks would have never got involved and the outcome would have been completely different. #fakehistory

[Skyedriver]

stuartmmcfc said:

What’s white and shoots across the sky?
The Coming of God.

What's white and glides across a dance floor

Come Dancing

[The Dangerous Elk]

nonsequitur said:

Is that in the same area as your Comedy Canal?

Nope, that is near my Pisstake pipe

[The Dangerous Elk]

john2443 said:

Vipers said:

CanAm said:

grumpy52 said:

Snowflakes try to rewrite history .

Even if Caleb is a Flat Earther, his theory conveniently overlooks the fact that the Japanese planes were all carrier-based.

Was that the dry run for the attack in 1941

It was all a mistake anyway, the original order said Attack Poole Harbour but it got lost in translation. If they'd have bombed Poole, the yanks would have never got involved and the outcome would have been completely different. #fakehistory

They did, but Thatcher covered it up to keep car workers wages low.

[K12beano]

[Honk]

Skyedriver said:

stuartmmcfc said:

What’s white and shoots across the sky?
The Coming of God.

What's white and glides across a dance floor

Come Dancing

What's white and comes in pints?



A polar bear.

[Vipers]

Stolen from FB.

---

So let me just get one thing straight.

Corbyn called May a stupid woman, but he has Diane Abbott sitting alongside him?

[Jasandjules]

Vipers said:

Stolen from FB.

---

So let me just get one thing straight.

Corbyn called May a stupid woman, but he has Diane Abbott sitting alongside him?

Which does mean he can recognise one..........

[SeeFive]

Honk said:

Skyedriver said:

stuartmmcfc said:

What’s white and shoots across the sky?
The Coming of God.

What's white and glides across a dance floor

Come Dancing

What's white and comes in pints?



A polar bear.

What’s white, dressed in a gimp mask, holding a whip and glides across the dance floor.

Strictly come dancing...

[Kenty]

A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out.
As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death."

He turned around and said, "So, you want me to stay?"

[Vipers]

My wife told me to get a penis enlarger.

I did, she is 25 and called Lucy.