Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[K12beano]

[Alex]

Do I not like that!

[schmunk]

Alex said:

Do I not like that!

I wondered how long it'd take for someone to turnip with a joke...

[ApOrbital]

I was just going to post turnip head.

[GOG440]

PoleDriver said:

I Just asked Siri "Surely its not going to rain today?"
She said,"it is, and don't call me Shirley"

I forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.

best joke in ages

[CaptainSlow]

Watford FC are renaming part of their stadium to the Graham Taylor Lie Down.

[AndyDubbya]

Old joke updated:

What's the difference between
a chickpea and a lentil?

Donald Trump has never paid to have
a lentil on another one...

[Doofus]

vx220 said:

I think the dog in the last frame is Vipers in canine incarnation...

That failed to get the laugh it deserved! Very clever

[Legend83]

PoleDriver said:

I Just asked Siri "Surely its not going to rain today?"
She said,"it is, and don't call me Shirley"

I forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.

Good.

Very good.

[PoleDriver]

Legend83 said:

PoleDriver said:

I Just asked Siri "Surely its not going to rain today?"
She said,"it is, and don't call me Shirley"

I forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.

Good.

Very good.

And...

My shampoo just swore at me!


Language Timotei!

[B'stard Child]

PoleDriver said:

Legend83 said:

PoleDriver said:

I Just asked Siri "Surely its not going to rain today?"
She said,"it is, and don't call me Shirley"

I forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.

Good.

Very good.

And...

My shampoo just swore at me!


Language Timotei!

Current occupant of number 10

[Morningside]

B'stard Child said:

PoleDriver said:

Legend83 said:

PoleDriver said:

I Just asked Siri "Surely its not going to rain today?"
She said,"it is, and don't call me Shirley"

I forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.

Good.

Very good.

And...

My shampoo just swore at me!


Language Timotei!

Current occupant of number 10

Cannot be unseen.

[PoleDriver]

The first rule of Chinese Whispers Club is: don't talk about Tiny Whiskers Grub.

[Doofus]

PoleDriver said:

The first rule of Chinese Whispers Club is: don't talk about Tiny Whiskers Grub.

[PoleDriver]

I just ate three cans of alphabet spaghetti and think I'm about to have the biggest vowel movement I've ever had.....

[mickk]

I have mixed feelings about alphabet spaghetti,


I just can't put it into words.

[LordGrover]

Doofus said:

PoleDriver said:

The first rule of Chinese Whispers Club is: don't talk about Tiny Whiskers Grub.

[Grumbly]

PoleDriver said:

I just ate three cans of alphabet spaghetti and think I'm about to have the biggest vowel movement I've ever had.....

Careful it could spell disaster.

[Evangelion]

We're certainly in for a bad spell of whether.

[mybrainhurts]

David Beckham nearly got killed on a horse last night.

He's never ridden a horse and the bloody thing went galloping off, then he fell, held its neck for a second, then fell with his foot caught in the stirrup...

Luckily the Tesco security bloke rushed out and unplugged the horse.