Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)

[Vipers]

I've just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife.

I usually smoke Marlboro but hey, a deal is a deal.

[davhill]

News has emerged today of a new film, which will go on worldwide release in May.

It's a biopic, the life story of a performing flea who ran away from the flea circus to
make his fortune in America
.
He stowed away in the suitcase of a man who crossed the Atlantic aboard the Queen Mary in 1937,

Pre-release screenings have attracted glowing reviews and the likes of Rotten Tomatoes
and IMDB suggest it shouldn't be missed.

It's entitled, 'Once upon a time in the vest.'

[Stan the Bat]

Vipers said:

I've just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife.

I usually smoke Marlboro but hey, a deal is a deal.

And... he hits the ground running.

[rayny]

Stan the Bat said:

Vipers said:

I've just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife.

I usually smoke Marlboro but hey, a deal is a deal.

And... he hits the ground running.

And definitely running in the right direction - A great start to the year vipers.

[Vipers]

rayny said:

Stan the Bat said:

Vipers said:

I've just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife.

I usually smoke Marlboro but hey, a deal is a deal.

And... he hits the ground running.

And definitely running in the right direction - A great start to the year vipers.

Thanks guys, but remember, I am but the messenger.

[rayny]

I always remember this, manly because your 'messages' are infinitley more pleasant than the ones which are left by the neigbours cats and dogs.

[EarlOfHazard]

I might have to go to the doctors, as I've only pooed once this year!

[funkyrobot]

Q: Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
A: They keep falling through the holes in his hands.

[funkyrobot]

Q. How do you know when your girlfriend is on anabolic steroids?
A. When she flips you over, holds you down and fks you
up the bum with her clitoris.

[funkyrobot]

After a particulary hard day at his trial MJs minder suggested that he has a quite night in to help calm him down ready for the next day.

'Why don't you get yourself a film Michael you like films'.

'What a great idea!' says Michael ' Can we get Aladin?'

'Aren't you in enough trouble?'

[kowalski655]

Vipers said:

I've just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife.

I usually smoke Marlboro but hey, a deal is a deal.

On honeymoon in Morocco I was ACTUALLY offered 40 camels,real ones,,and a gold bar,for my new bride.
25 years later I'm REALLY regretting not taking up the deal!

[Usget]

funkyrobot said:

Q: Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
A: They keep falling through the holes in his hands.

You're off to the hot place

[glenrobbo]

kowalski655 said:

On honeymoon in Morocco I was ACTUALLY offered 40 camels,real ones,,and a gold bar,for my new bride.
25 years later I'm REALLY regretting not taking up the deal!

Your wife must have had really good teeth.

To be fair, you would have struggled to bring back 40 camels on a Monarch holiday jet with their very tight seat spacing.

Edited by glenrobbo on Wednesday 2nd January 09:15

[cookmysock]

kowalski655 said:

Vipers said:

I've just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife.

I usually smoke Marlboro but hey, a deal is a deal.

On honeymoon in Morocco I was ACTUALLY offered 40 camels,real ones,,and a gold bar,for my new bride.
25 years later I'm REALLY regretting not taking up the deal!

I bet you have the hump with that...

[Vipers]

cookmysock said:

kowalski655 said:

Vipers said:

I've just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife.

I usually smoke Marlboro but hey, a deal is a deal.

On honeymoon in Morocco I was ACTUALLY offered 40 camels, real ones, and a gold bar, for my new bride.

25 years later I'm REALLY regretting not taking up the deal!

I bet you have the hump with that...

At least 40 humps, but if they were all Bactrian's he would have 40 more.

Let's not mention "Bricking" a camel before a long journey............. bet someone will.

[glenrobbo]

Vipers said:

At least 40 humps, but if they were all Bactrians he would have 40 more.

Let's not mention "Bricking" a camel before a long journey............. bet someone will.

Yeah. Never mind, just suck it up, eh Vipers?
Happy New Year matey.

[glenrobbo]

And mind those thumbs!

[kowalski655]

Vipers said:

cookmysock said:

kowalski655 said:

Vipers said:

I've just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife.

I usually smoke Marlboro but hey, a deal is a deal.

On honeymoon in Morocco I was ACTUALLY offered 40 camels, real ones, and a gold bar, for my new bride.

25 years later I'm REALLY regretting not taking up the deal!

I bet you have the hump with that...

At least 40 humps, but if they were all Bactrian's he would have 40 more.

Let's not mention "Bricking" a camel before a long journey............. bet someone will.

I was quite happy with the 2 humps at the front

[Vipers]

glenrobbo said:

And mind those thumbs!

Just got to love the old ones.

Happy New Year as well

[Robbo 27]

kowalski655 said:

I was quite happy with the 2 humps at the front

And speaking of camels


What do you call a man who rides a camel backwards?












Lawrence of Dublin