Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)
Discussion
king sandwich?dartissimus said:
I picked up a hitchhiker last night.
He said thanks, but how do you know I'm not a serial killer?
It's Ok, the chances of there being two serial killers in the same car at the same time?
I'll risk it.
Have I put this up before?He said thanks, but how do you know I'm not a serial killer?
It's Ok, the chances of there being two serial killers in the same car at the same time?
I'll risk it.
Ivan Milat (look him up) is cruising along the New England Hwy when he stops to pick up a backpacker. As they cruise along Ivan says "We're coming up to the Belanglo State Forest, would you like to cruise through for a look?"
The backpacker said "Sure, why not?"
As they travel through the forest it starts to get dark, and the backpacker says "Gee, it's scary in here in the dark".
Ivan says "You're scared! I've got to drive out of here on my own."
RJO said:
dartissimus said:
I picked up a hitchhiker last night.
He said thanks, but how do you know I'm not a serial killer?
It's Ok, the chances of there being two serial killers in the same car at the same time?
I'll risk it.
Have I put this up before?He said thanks, but how do you know I'm not a serial killer?
It's Ok, the chances of there being two serial killers in the same car at the same time?
I'll risk it.
Ivan Milat (look him up) is cruising along the New England Hwy when he stops to pick up a backpacker. As they cruise along Ivan says "We're coming up to the Belanglo State Forest, would you like to cruise through for a look?"
The backpacker said "Sure, why not?"
As they travel through the forest it starts to get dark, and the backpacker says "Gee, it's scary in here in the dark".
Ivan says "You're scared! I've got to drive out of here on my own."
Doofus said:
cookmysock said:
the New England Hwy is several hundred kilometres north of the Belangalo State Forest! The only way this joke would make sense if the backpacker Ivan picked up was a kitten hoping to be dissected
Belanglo
IanCress said:
I was on the bus the other day when a gorgeous Thai girl got on and sat next to me.
I kept thinking to myself - don't get an erection, don't get an erection.
But she did.
My new Thai girlfriend said a small penis shouldn't affect our relationship. But I'd rather she didn't have one at all. I kept thinking to myself - don't get an erection, don't get an erection.
But she did.
Vipers said:
I'me self employed, if you see me talking to myself, don't worry, I'me having a staff meeting.
I'm my company's Managing Director, Finance Director, Secretary and Tea Boy........you should hear the double entendres each morning when I ask myself if it's time for a round of coffees.........
Don1 said:
funkyrobot said:
Q: Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
A: They keep falling through the holes in his hands.
Why can Jesus always get a place to stay at a hotel?A: They keep falling through the holes in his hands.
He puts three nails on the front desk and asks to be put up for the night....
Can we not show a bit of respect?It's only just the start of the new year, surely it's far too early to start the Easter jokes???
Geoffrey 321 said:
Vipers said:
I'me self employed, if you see me talking to myself, don't worry, I'me having a staff meeting.
very goodWhen is this going to end?
If it was a staff meeting, surely others would be in attendance. - Otherwise, it would be a management meeting!
)
Life's too short to get cross. 
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