Discussion
anonymous said:
[redacted]
The thing is though that some of these criminals are bringing in unbelievable amounts of money and if they can clean it for even 50% of it's dirty value it's worth doing. Johnny Kock (his real name but be careful if you Google it at work 
) was bringing in about £3.5m worth of coke every fortnight according to the police, imagine how big a pile of cash he would have had after a few years. In that case, you'd only have the issue of convincing HMRC that you started with nothing and beat astronomical odds to gamble your way up to £700k, rather than starting with £750k and taking a few losses leaving £700k. This would, presumably, be made more difficult by the "fixed" part of the machine's description.
Live normally with a few added extras.
Swap out current cars for leggy 12mpg guzzlers.
Range rover 5.0 Supercharged for you and maybe a 5.0 Sport for the Mrs. £ 40k
Run them only on super unleaded.
Service them regularly, premium parts etc.
Fix what breaks etc.
Premium tyres. £200 a corner.
Home improvements. Gardens. Kitchens. Floors. Bathrooms. Driveway. Garage.
New Tv's, Hi-fi's. Computers.
2-3 holidays a year. Change over a fair amount for spending money. Have a few hundred in wallet to change over when abroad and use terrible exchange rate etc.
Use credit card for occasional items. Pay back credit card in cash in bank in small amounts £40-£50 a time.
Be generous. Buy friends and relatives nice birthday / Christmas gifts. (same applies for the wife)
Up your mortgage payment a little and use your wages to pay it. (your not going to need your wages for much else other than house hold bills.
Stop shopping in Aldi, change to Waitrose or even Sainsburys. Buy the expensive ones of everything. Expensive wine habit etc.
It really wouldn't take much imo.
Swap out current cars for leggy 12mpg guzzlers.
Range rover 5.0 Supercharged for you and maybe a 5.0 Sport for the Mrs. £ 40k
Run them only on super unleaded.
Service them regularly, premium parts etc.
Fix what breaks etc.
Premium tyres. £200 a corner.
Home improvements. Gardens. Kitchens. Floors. Bathrooms. Driveway. Garage.
New Tv's, Hi-fi's. Computers.
2-3 holidays a year. Change over a fair amount for spending money. Have a few hundred in wallet to change over when abroad and use terrible exchange rate etc.
Use credit card for occasional items. Pay back credit card in cash in bank in small amounts £40-£50 a time.
Be generous. Buy friends and relatives nice birthday / Christmas gifts. (same applies for the wife)
Up your mortgage payment a little and use your wages to pay it. (your not going to need your wages for much else other than house hold bills.
Stop shopping in Aldi, change to Waitrose or even Sainsburys. Buy the expensive ones of everything. Expensive wine habit etc.
It really wouldn't take much imo.
wiffmaster said:
* Set up art gallery in posh London location
nice, some genuinely good suggestions here- Train a chimp to paint rubbish 'modern art' pieces and put them in the window display at £5,000 a pop
- 'Sell' a couple of pieces each week (by 'sell' I mean 'throw on a bonfire')
the other way to do it is to do it in casinos abroad, it's getting the money there which is the tricky part
aww999 said:
In that case, you'd only have the issue of convincing HMRC that you started with nothing and beat astronomical odds to gamble your way up to £700k, rather than starting with £750k and taking a few losses leaving £700k. This would, presumably, be made more difficult by the "fixed" part of the machine's description.
Surely they couldn't prove absolutely that you're not just the luckiest machine gambler in the world?Eta: to add plausibility, take your life savings out of the bank now (leaving a trail for where you started gambling for a living) and spend that as cash while you go.
That is assuming that your life savings are maybe 10k rather than hundreds of k
Edited by Jimmy Recard on Thursday 4th May 13:29
aww999 said:
In that case, you'd only have the issue of convincing HMRC that you started with nothing and beat astronomical odds to gamble your way up to £700k, rather than starting with £750k and taking a few losses leaving £700k. This would, presumably, be made more difficult by the "fixed" part of the machine's description.
Yeah, I thought the same, but apparently this is very much 'a thing'. Google "fixed odds betting terminals money laundering", and there's loads of stuff.
I don't think your winning slip shows much about how you won it - you just get a pay-out over the counter, with little to show it wasn't a 'normal' bet.
FoxtrotOscar1 said:
Live normally with a few added extras.
Swap out current cars for leggy 12mpg guzzlers.
Range rover 5.0 Supercharged for you and maybe a 5.0 Sport for the Mrs. £ 40k
Run them only on super unleaded.
Service them regularly, premium parts etc.
Fix what breaks etc.
Premium tyres. £200 a corner.
Home improvements. Gardens. Kitchens. Floors. Bathrooms. Driveway. Garage.
New Tv's, Hi-fi's. Computers.
2-3 holidays a year. Change over a fair amount for spending money. Have a few hundred in wallet to change over when abroad and use terrible exchange rate etc.
Use credit card for occasional items. Pay back credit card in cash in bank in small amounts £40-£50 a time.
Be generous. Buy friends and relatives nice birthday / Christmas gifts. (same applies for the wife)
Up your mortgage payment a little and use your wages to pay it. (your not going to need your wages for much else other than house hold bills.
Stop shopping in Aldi, change to Waitrose or even Sainsburys. Buy the expensive ones of everything. Expensive wine habit etc.
It really wouldn't take much imo.
Calm down, Brewster.Swap out current cars for leggy 12mpg guzzlers.
Range rover 5.0 Supercharged for you and maybe a 5.0 Sport for the Mrs. £ 40k
Run them only on super unleaded.
Service them regularly, premium parts etc.
Fix what breaks etc.
Premium tyres. £200 a corner.
Home improvements. Gardens. Kitchens. Floors. Bathrooms. Driveway. Garage.
New Tv's, Hi-fi's. Computers.
2-3 holidays a year. Change over a fair amount for spending money. Have a few hundred in wallet to change over when abroad and use terrible exchange rate etc.
Use credit card for occasional items. Pay back credit card in cash in bank in small amounts £40-£50 a time.
Be generous. Buy friends and relatives nice birthday / Christmas gifts. (same applies for the wife)
Up your mortgage payment a little and use your wages to pay it. (your not going to need your wages for much else other than house hold bills.
Stop shopping in Aldi, change to Waitrose or even Sainsburys. Buy the expensive ones of everything. Expensive wine habit etc.
It really wouldn't take much imo.
That's not laundering it, that's just spending it.
aww999 said:
In that case, you'd only have the issue of convincing HMRC that you started with nothing and beat astronomical odds to gamble your way up to £700k, rather than starting with £750k and taking a few losses leaving £700k. This would, presumably, be made more difficult by the "fixed" part of the machine's description.
The use of FOBT to clean money is more likely done by street level people who want to show to the police why they're in possession of reasonable amounts of cash. It's not a way of explaining to the HMRC how you can afford a 6 bed luxo pad in cheesiest Essex and a RR when you "work" as a barber, as you suggest the HMRC are rather more switched on to how FOBT work than your local desk sergeant.Doofus said:
1. Drive it to Switzerland stuffed in the kids' suitcases.
2. Put in in a bank there.
3. Go back a couple of years later, and bring 300k back in cash in your briefcase.
4. Get arrested at Heathrow.
5. Do eight months, with two years suspended, for tax fraud.
That's the way my late busienss partner did it. Before I knew him, I hasten to add. I only found out about this after he died.
The Swiss have anti money laundering rules as well. 2. Put in in a bank there.
3. Go back a couple of years later, and bring 300k back in cash in your briefcase.
4. Get arrested at Heathrow.
5. Do eight months, with two years suspended, for tax fraud.
That's the way my late busienss partner did it. Before I knew him, I hasten to add. I only found out about this after he died.
How long ago was this?
SpeckledJim said:
Fixed-odds betting terminals in bookmakers shops.
You'd reliably lose 5%, or whatever, but by the time you've pumped all the money through the machines (might take a couple of years touring the area every day), you've got winning betting slips to account for c.£712,500.
still suspicious, that'd be an implausible 2 years winning spree and the machines could be seized and analyzed (they hold historic data)You'd reliably lose 5%, or whatever, but by the time you've pumped all the money through the machines (might take a couple of years touring the area every day), you've got winning betting slips to account for c.£712,500.
SpeckledJim said:
FoxtrotOscar1 said:
Live normally with a few added extras.
Swap out current cars for leggy 12mpg guzzlers.
Range rover 5.0 Supercharged for you and maybe a 5.0 Sport for the Mrs. £ 40k
Run them only on super unleaded.
Service them regularly, premium parts etc.
Fix what breaks etc.
Premium tyres. £200 a corner.
Home improvements. Gardens. Kitchens. Floors. Bathrooms. Driveway. Garage.
New Tv's, Hi-fi's. Computers.
2-3 holidays a year. Change over a fair amount for spending money. Have a few hundred in wallet to change over when abroad and use terrible exchange rate etc.
Use credit card for occasional items. Pay back credit card in cash in bank in small amounts £40-£50 a time.
Be generous. Buy friends and relatives nice birthday / Christmas gifts. (same applies for the wife)
Up your mortgage payment a little and use your wages to pay it. (your not going to need your wages for much else other than house hold bills.
Stop shopping in Aldi, change to Waitrose or even Sainsburys. Buy the expensive ones of everything. Expensive wine habit etc.
It really wouldn't take much imo.
Calm down, Brewster.Swap out current cars for leggy 12mpg guzzlers.
Range rover 5.0 Supercharged for you and maybe a 5.0 Sport for the Mrs. £ 40k
Run them only on super unleaded.
Service them regularly, premium parts etc.
Fix what breaks etc.
Premium tyres. £200 a corner.
Home improvements. Gardens. Kitchens. Floors. Bathrooms. Driveway. Garage.
New Tv's, Hi-fi's. Computers.
2-3 holidays a year. Change over a fair amount for spending money. Have a few hundred in wallet to change over when abroad and use terrible exchange rate etc.
Use credit card for occasional items. Pay back credit card in cash in bank in small amounts £40-£50 a time.
Be generous. Buy friends and relatives nice birthday / Christmas gifts. (same applies for the wife)
Up your mortgage payment a little and use your wages to pay it. (your not going to need your wages for much else other than house hold bills.
Stop shopping in Aldi, change to Waitrose or even Sainsburys. Buy the expensive ones of everything. Expensive wine habit etc.
It really wouldn't take much imo.
That's not laundering it, that's just spending it.
Ari said:
Jonmx said:
If it were me, I'd buy a rather nice yacht for cash, £315k, in my case a Beneteau Oceanis 55 (see below) and then set sail for warmer climes. Most places in the Caribbean are amenable to cash purchases so with the remaining £440k cash I'd buy a nice little house, lots of rum, and then see my days out doing charter sailing for rich American tourists of the pretty female persuasion. I met a chap in Barbados last year who's life is pretty much what I described; 2-3 top end charters a week pays for him to run 2 catamarans and to have a nice house.
Nope, sorry. Yacht brokers/boat sales won't take more than about £8K in cash.I guess you could buy one privately, IF you could find someone willing to take £300K in notes, but what do you think will happen when the seller tries to deposit £300K in cash?
Markbarry1977 said:
But a cheap 40 footer say £50k from legitimate sources (sell my house). Put £750k in the bilges and keel out the way. Sail £750k to caymans (or country of choice to spend the rest of your life who don't ask too many questions). Buy the massive £300k yacht of your desires out there with money stowed away with and sell your original cheap yacht back on. Live remainder of your life sunbathing and drinking.
And just hope no-one steals it!Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff