exploded a partridge today! What have you hit?

[ooo000ooo]

j4ckos mate said:

i hit two dogs when i first started driving,
one in the evening, then another the following morning,
never it one since,

A mate had a brand new special edition mk2 astra, his pride and joy. Driving down the road and a dog runs out. He killed the dog and wrecked the front of the car.
He contacts thr insurance who authorise the repair and advise him that if he'd got the licence disc off the dog they could have claimed off the owner and saved him a claim.
A week or so later he gets the car back, drives around for a couple of days and a cement truck reverses into him, damaging the bit that's just been repaired, back to the bodywork people it goes.
Couple of weeks later the car's back looking good as new, he's driving along the road, goes round a corner and a dog runs out. A car coming bthe other way hits it, sends it flying through the air straight through his front windscreen. Minor bodywork damage but a bit of a cleanup job inside.
There's no licence disc on the dog so his insurance takes another battering.
A couple of weeks later, car's back again, all shiny and new. He's driving down the road and a dog runs out, he hits the dog, wrecks the front of his car again. The dog is lying at the side of the road and hallelujah it's got a collar and a shiney licence disc.
As he bends over to get the disc, the dead dog comes back to life, jumps up, bites him in the face and does a runner

[MJG280]

Many years ago a friend in a rowing eight near Putney took a ducks head off with the edge of an oar. We were following and the body was just bobbing around in the water. We did wonder how long it would continue to float

[leigh1050]

I knocked over a shoplifter once on my old SV1000.
He had been nabbed by store detectives for nicking razor blades and tried to run off but only managed to get knocked up in the air by me and into a Ford Escort!

[bloomen]

Probably 20-50 pheasants, a couple of badgers, 4 deer, 2 sheep and several other unidentified explosions.

[J4CKO]

I was walking the dog one night and a Fox popped out of a hedgerow on a fairly rural stretch, it clocked the dog and me and scuttled across the road, keeping a close eye on us, but critically not the high roof Transit approaching, at speed from the other direction, it was hit square on with a hell of a thud and launched in our direction, stone dead.

Sort of landed a our feet, van didnt stop, Fox was as dead as can be, the dog was very excited by the whole thing, didnt know whether to eat it, play with it or what, I just grabbed it by its tail and hoiked it over the hedge, heavier than I imagined.

[davhill]

Some memorable ones.

Heading North on the M6 aboard my Norton Commando, 2am in Feb and persisting down. I caught a ginormous moth straight in the visor of my Bell Star. Flicked at it with the chammy leather pad on my glove... it was like trying to see through Scotch Broth. I had to go on the hard shoulder and work with the rain to restore vision.

I was driving my kit car (JBA Falcon) and a pheasant tried a VTOL from the verge. It hit the top of the steel radiator shell and came bowling along the bonnet before being clouted by the screen header rail. I saw it tumble down behind the rear window. I turned around and came, ready to administer the coup de grace but it had fked off.
Next time I lowered the hood, the leading edge released enough feathers to stuff a cushion.

Another time, a pigeon tried the same trick. It hadn't factored in my Golf GTi Mk. 2 approaching at lightspeed. It was hit by the offside screen pillar and it simply went straight up. No mess but no more cooing.

And to close, I was ambling by the coast near Brighton in a motorhome. Doing no more than 20mph,I noticed three ducks coming in to land.
One touched down inches in front of the front OS wheel and Splot, not even a quack. It was Fiat Ducato chassis cab 1, Donald nil.

[Short Grain]

Had a wasp fly into my full face helmet years ago in the middle of summer. Seemed to come at my face in slow motion but got trapped down the side of my head somehow so didn't get stung! Nearly wiped out trying to stop and get my helmet off at the same time! Driver behind me pissed himself at the sight of me dragging my helmet of and swatting at the side of my head in panic!

Driving down a country lane, off to see a new customer. Middle of summer, windows open, music blaring, the biggest f*kin bumblebee flew in, hit me slap bang in the middle of my forehead, and dropped stunned straight into my lap! I could hear and feel it buzzing around under my crotch!! Emergency stop, door open, and me out of the car flapping at my crotch. Thankfully no one behind me. Had a big red mark on my forehead and had to explain it to my customer, who thought it was hilarious!!

Cooked a pigeon on the engine of my Escort years ago when it went through / smashed the grill. Blood, guts, and feathers all nicely baked on by the time I got off the motorway!!

Hit a rabbit in my A4 once. Saw this furry blur dart out and heard the thump as it hit. Didn't see anything behind me so probably slammed it straight back into the hedge at the roadside. Not a mark on the car though.

Nearly hit a puppy when it ran into the road after sneaking through a hole in the fence of the house it came from, some near neighbours of my mate in the car. Caught it and knocked on the door to explain what had happened and the guy just said "Oh Yeah, I know, been meaning to fix that"
Get back in the car, set off, and the little fker did exactly the same, they'd just put it straight out in the garden again!!
The guy got a few choice words when I returned it again!! Mate had to calm me down! Would have felt really bad if I'd actually hit it!!

[Graculus]

Some small birds, several Wood Pigeons, one Pheasant (emerged over a hedge and flew along the road directly in front of me so my windscreen smacked it in the bum...).

One Rabbit which was left crawling on its front legs and dragging the back ones so I had to stop and put it out of its misery.

One cat which ran out of a hedge just over the brow of a hill. I almost missed it but, unfortunately, clipped it. I stopped and looked in the mirror only to see it writhing in the road. Feeling awful, I wanted to try to help but was very conscious of my own safety due to potential traffic. Just then, a van came over the crest and absolutely flattened it thus ending its suffering and my dilemma.

Strangest of all was a Bat. Yes, a Bat. Out of the darkness, and only really visible for a split second as it hit the windscreen, it scared the Bejesus out of me but it was presumably worse for the poor creature.

[davhill]

Short Grain said:

Had a wasp fly into my full face helmet years ago in the middle of summer. Seemed to come at my face in slow motion but got trapped down the side of my head somehow so didn't get stung! Nearly wiped out trying to stop and get my helmet off at the same time! Driver behind me pissed himself at the sight of me dragging my helmet of and swatting at the side of my head in panic!

Snipp!

The first sting i ever experienced was from a wasp that went up my jacket sleeve when I was riding my motorboke. Stripy little ste pranged me on the forearm. so I pulled up and battered seven bells out the location to be rewarded by wasp components exiting my cuff. Little bd wouldn't do it again - until his mates heard.

[fttm]

Partridge is nothing OP , try a Canadian Goose through the windscreen of my pickup , or an Elk so big over the nose of my semi he was almost licking the windshield prior to his legs giving out and ripping the crap out of the rad air cooler etc etc . Multiple deer exploding , more than one at a time was messy too . You need to try harder (that was a joke btw ).

[hutchst]

Collision-wise, my worst was a deer years ago up in Ashridge forest behind Berkhamsted, but in terms of scary, it was early one morning years ago in those lanes between the reservoirs at Colnbrook, before the M25 was built. I came round a bend (they have high hedges so visibility not great) making 'reasonable progress' and found a horse lying in the road. I stood on the brakes and just managed to stop (as this is PH, a 1.6L Mkll escort). It was still breathing, I could see the steam coming out of its nostrils, but there was plentyof blood. I didn't have a clue what to do, no mobile phones in those days. To my shame, I just turned round and left it lying there in the road.

[hutchst]

Oh, and I managed to run over a puff adder wriggling across the road just outside Pretoria.

[JKING]

Flattened a squirrel under the drivers sidel, felt it through the steering wheel.

Also, recently a pidgeon hit my windscreen doing about 60mph. Left a big dusty mark on the windscreen and on the leading edge of the roof.

[davek_964]

hutchst said:

Collision-wise, my worst was a deer years ago up in Ashridge forest behind Berkhamsted, but in terms of scary, it was early one morning years ago in those lanes between the reservoirs at Colnbrook, before the M25 was built. I came round a bend (they have high hedges so visibility not great) making 'reasonable progress' and found a horse lying in the road. I stood on the brakes and just managed to stop (as this is PH, a 1.6L Mkll escort). It was still breathing, I could see the steam coming out of its nostrils, but there was plentyof blood. I didn't have a clue what to do, no mobile phones in those days. To my shame, I just turned round and left it lying there in the road.

The one I hit died on impact - I'd bought a new (cheap) watch very recently and realised it had come off in the accident. Started walking down the road looking for it - but once I'd found a couple of internal organs, decided I really didn't need the watch that much....

I went back for the bike a couple of hours later to wait for a recovery truck and the deer was gone - somebody's dinner I suspect.

[PurpleMoonlight]

A badger carrying a baby in its mouth. It just came out of nowhere.

I felt really bad after even though there was nothing I could have done.

[cobra kid]

I watched a cat slowly die at the side of the road. I didn't see the incident but it was thrashing around on the spot with a small puddle of blood next to it's head. The thrashing got less and less, then stillness.

[PurpleMoonlight]

cobra kid said:

I watched a cat slowly die at the side of the road. I didn't see the incident but it was thrashing around on the spot with a small puddle of blood next to it's head. The thrashing got less and less, then stillness.

Oh that reminds me, I ran over my own cat on the drive!

[Vanordinaire]

PurpleMoonlight said:

A badger carrying a baby in its mouth. It just came out of nowhere.

I felt really bad after even though there was nothing I could have done.

Where did it get a baby from? Did it survive? Did it's family get it back?
Never knew badgers would steal babies!

[996Keef]

Done a few pigeons over the years, but did have a strange one, a few years back I was sat at traffic lights about 3 miles from Gatwick in a Transit Connect . I heard an almighty THUMP. and a dead , greasy pigeon slid all the way down the windscreen and rested on the scuttle panel

I reckon it was hit by a plane , unless it just died randomly in flight - it was very odd.


Does anyone live near an airport here? Ever see birds dropping at full speed onto the road regularly?

[glenrobbo]

What's the last thing that goes through a fly's mind the moment it hits your windscreen?

Its' ahole!