Caught peeing in the kettle.
Discussion
911motorsport said:
it would seem that I have caused considerably more upset than I at first thought. The spare bed has been made up and I am not being spoken to :-( except for when I went to remove the 'evidence' and was told to leave them EXACTLY where they are. Oh, and her lentalist man hating girl friend is on the way over 
to no doubt stir it all up Toni, your advice really isn't very good. It's clear to pretty much everybody that the OP shouldn't have pissed in his kettle! So whilst the reaction is a tad harsh, it's probably justified. Going to the pub is only going to antagonise the mrs further- especially if she's got a stirrer type mate over.
Turning up with a replacement and bribes will show him to be a decent sort of chap.
But I probably would go and move the stuff to the bin rather then leaving it in the garden. That bit is going a bit far.
often go camping and use an old cracked 2 pint jug as a night jug - saves me having to go out and piss in the rain or something, left it full after an evening session, forgot to empty it and someone swiped it and put it on the table as cordial... Several guys then emptied it for me, some comments on the taste and the like, but no-one realised....
Autonotiv said:
becksW said:
I wouldn't want my hubby in the same bed after doing something like that, what would stop him peeing in the bed if he is prepared to go that low 
She did him a favour anyway, if he couldn't be bothered to go upstairs to pee he wouldn't wanted to go upstairs to bed either!
My cat peed on my toaster once, I didn't realise until I had this awful stench wafting from it. I took out the toast which was soggy
and realised there was a puddle around it. Toaster was replaced the same day..and yes toast was chucked away . They would have smelt the pee had they tried to boil the kettle 
eewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, you let your cat on the work top?She did him a favour anyway, if he couldn't be bothered to go upstairs to pee he wouldn't wanted to go upstairs to bed either!
My cat peed on my toaster once, I didn't realise until I had this awful stench wafting from it. I took out the toast which was soggy
and realised there was a puddle around it. Toaster was replaced the same day..and yes toast was chucked away . They would have smelt the pee had they tried to boil the kettle 
SLCZ3 said:
He doesn't jump on side units aymore, his legs won't let him!
Because you chopped them off???, its what i would have done.
Im calling the RSPCA now!!Because you chopped them off???, its what i would have done.
On a sidenote, any men folk who happen to be stressed in becks presence, dont pee on a thing! For the love of god, HOLD IT IN!! Who knows what may get chopped off next!
Edited by ironictwist on Sunday 9th March 16:22
ironictwist said:
SLCZ3 said:
He doesn't jump on side units aymore, his legs won't let him!
Because you chopped them off???, its what i would have done.
Im calling the RSPCA now!!Because you chopped them off???, its what i would have done.
On a sidenote, any men folk who happen to be stressed in becks presence, dont pee on a thing! For the love of god, HOLD IT IN!! Who knows what may get chopped off next!
Edited by ironictwist on Sunday 9th March 16:22
No it was several years ago, he is an older boy now and suffers arthritis in his spine, he can't jump up that high anymore.Ha Ha Ha Ha - Brilliant thread and thank you ever so much Mr911 for sharing!
Reminds me of a similarly 'mis-directed' piss I had a little while ago after I had been out on the sauce; My g/f had come to collect me and I was in some state. Went to bed proper pissed and got up the next morning with a heavy head. Went into the study and noticed all my clothes soaking wet and neatly folded on the leather swivel chair in front of the pc.
It would appear that at some point during the night I'd got up, gone into the study and folded my clothes and then forgotten the need to move from one room to another to pee.
Needless to say I 'went without' for a while afterwards and the chair got thrown asap.
PS. My missus says 'serves you right etc etc'
Reminds me of a similarly 'mis-directed' piss I had a little while ago after I had been out on the sauce; My g/f had come to collect me and I was in some state. Went to bed proper pissed and got up the next morning with a heavy head. Went into the study and noticed all my clothes soaking wet and neatly folded on the leather swivel chair in front of the pc.
It would appear that at some point during the night I'd got up, gone into the study and folded my clothes and then forgotten the need to move from one room to another to pee.
Needless to say I 'went without' for a while afterwards and the chair got thrown asap.
PS. My missus says 'serves you right etc etc'
missdiane said:
My other half peed up the wall in the bedroom a while back and got the log book of the Lotus wet, we'd only received the V5 that morning
I can confidently say that no matter how unbelievabluy smashed I have ever been I have never, EVER pissed anywhere other than outside or in the pan.Good God, chaps, is this sort of thing regular?
911motorsport said:
Don't get me wrong, I know the correct protocol. I would have opted for the sink if it didnt have washing up in it, and I reckon she'd have been just as able with the kettle; it's a wide one with a fold flat handle (and now I think about it..............)
I'd blame the lazy b
h for not having done the housework properly in the first place....yup, should have gone in the sink like the rest of us.
I once got lucky with a real stunner (I'm talking a good 12 out of 10 here) who, a couple of hours after we finally got to sleep, decided to get out of bed, pop herself up on the chest of drawers and let herself go.
I woke up wondering where the F*ck she was going (quite literally)...however, I actually quite enjoyed watching her.
I never told her what she did, I think she was too drunk to notice (maybe thats why I go so lucky in the first place!)
I once got lucky with a real stunner (I'm talking a good 12 out of 10 here) who, a couple of hours after we finally got to sleep, decided to get out of bed, pop herself up on the chest of drawers and let herself go.
I woke up wondering where the F*ck she was going (quite literally)...however, I actually quite enjoyed watching her.
I never told her what she did, I think she was too drunk to notice (maybe thats why I go so lucky in the first place!)
Gretchen said:
911motorsport said:
Don't get me wrong, I know the correct protocol. I would have opted for the sink if it didnt have washing up in it, and I reckon she'd have been just as able with the kettle; it's a wide one with a fold flat handle (and now I think about it..............)
I'd blame the lazy bh for not having done the housework properly in the first place. yeah, its all her fault, she should be in the spare room 
Burnham said:
...yup, should have gone in the sink like the rest of us.
I once got lucky with a real stunner (I'm talking a good 12 out of 10 here) who, a couple of hours after we finally got to sleep, decided to get out of bed, pop herself up on the chest of drawers and let herself go.
I woke up wondering where the F*ck she was going (quite literally)...however, I actually quite enjoyed watching her.
I never told her what she did, I think she was too drunk to notice (maybe thats why I go so lucky in the first place!)
I once got lucky with a real stunner (I'm talking a good 12 out of 10 here) who, a couple of hours after we finally got to sleep, decided to get out of bed, pop herself up on the chest of drawers and let herself go.
I woke up wondering where the F*ck she was going (quite literally)...however, I actually quite enjoyed watching her.
I never told her what she did, I think she was too drunk to notice (maybe thats why I go so lucky in the first place!)
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