Tales of infidelity and woe
Discussion
My ex got a bit chummy with a bloke she worked with and i suspected something was going on. I turned out to be right although, as mentioned by someone in this thread earlier on ( 
) she said there was nothing going on.
Within a matter of weeks of me ending it she was with him.
My last words to her was that he sounded like a bit of a player - she was an attractive girl, the only one in her office - I told her that he'd have a bit of fun with her and then split, which was exactly what he did after about a month of them being together.
You have to talk to her though. Sit down, don't blow your top and just have a chat. Relationships do end, if that's the case with yours then hold your head up and move on.
You also don't wanna know the details of what she has been up to, if anything. Trust me.
) she said there was nothing going on.Within a matter of weeks of me ending it she was with him.
My last words to her was that he sounded like a bit of a player - she was an attractive girl, the only one in her office - I told her that he'd have a bit of fun with her and then split, which was exactly what he did after about a month of them being together.
You have to talk to her though. Sit down, don't blow your top and just have a chat. Relationships do end, if that's the case with yours then hold your head up and move on.
You also don't wanna know the details of what she has been up to, if anything. Trust me.
Don said:
So here it is.
Are you the jealous type that is constantly looking for reassurance and figuratively jumps at shadows? Do you habitually have rows about how another guy looked at your missus - something she couldn't control anyway? Do you secretly want her dressed up in a burkha when she goes out?
If the above sounds like you and you're suspicious? You're paranoid.
If not - and you're suspicious? Then you're right.
Only you can decide which. Bummer.
Last time I got suspicious it was because the ex was falling for the guy she would eventually marry.
Paranoia is merely a heightened sense of awareness Are you the jealous type that is constantly looking for reassurance and figuratively jumps at shadows? Do you habitually have rows about how another guy looked at your missus - something she couldn't control anyway? Do you secretly want her dressed up in a burkha when she goes out?
If the above sounds like you and you're suspicious? You're paranoid.
If not - and you're suspicious? Then you're right.
Only you can decide which. Bummer.
Last time I got suspicious it was because the ex was falling for the guy she would eventually marry.
OP: If you find yourself and the OH arguing more over pathetic little things that leave you thinking "what the f
k was that all about? why the hell did we just fall out" then chances are your OH is causing trouble so that in her head she can justify what she's doing behind your back.Edited by Oakey on Tuesday 4th August 12:46
I haven't read all the way through (I'm pushed for time - apologies for brevity).
OP. Have you got some close firends? Ones you can really trust? Or ones that she doesn't know.
Good. Get them to lay tabs on her while you're away on business again.
You go away Monday (say). You tell her you're back Friday when actually it's Wednesday. Tell your friends you want to know where she is on the Weds/ Thurs or wait until you suspect she's with this chap and call her saying you're round at her gaff because you got back early...
Then you'll know.
OP. Have you got some close firends? Ones you can really trust? Or ones that she doesn't know.
Good. Get them to lay tabs on her while you're away on business again.
You go away Monday (say). You tell her you're back Friday when actually it's Wednesday. Tell your friends you want to know where she is on the Weds/ Thurs or wait until you suspect she's with this chap and call her saying you're round at her gaff because you got back early...
Then you'll know.
Classicsport said:
This is a woman who I would describe as the most loyal and loving creature I have ever met. I still think its 50/50....
No, No, No, No.Men are so bloody noble.
Can I simplify the situation for you, and I have been there, on more thsn one occasion, so I fully understand. She is at it - no question - but lets not go there with the suspicion, the arguments, the private dicks and so forth. The relationship is not working for you any more, it's the old Quantum of Solace thing that Ian Fleming mentioned. You are getting nothing out of it. It is making you suspicious and probably unwell. It's time to call time for those reasons only. Whatever she is doing, it's irrelevant - doesn't matter. Take the initiative. Part company with her, like a gentleman, not like an enraged drunken gorilla in the final stages of a rabies-induced nervous breakdown. She will have more respect for you.
I know it's hard but it gets easy once you have made the decision, and the alternative is basically hell until she decides to dump you. The money you would have spent on a private detective I suggest you use to treat yourself to an Aston Martin driving experience day.
Two further things. As for not wanting to know the details of what she has been up to - I can see where they are coming from, but once you have made the manly decision to pack it, you will find these insights into her intimate secrets highly amusing, and you can in due course use them to keep your mates in stitches down at the pub some evening. Secondly, what will inevitably happen is that the person she is rogering will scarper, and she will come back to you with her tail between her legs begging forgiveness for her 'stupid mistake'. Do not take her back. If they will do it once they will do it again - it's only a matter of time. If you have got the nerve for it you could take her back for a fortnight of frenetic humping which you can record on DVD, as well as obtaining every last juicy detail of her exploits. But you have to have the iron will to chuck her at the end of the fortnight.
Best of luck old son, in a few months time you will look back and thank your lucky stars. Hope that helps.
Shabs said:
mate - what you have there is classic wimmin signs of cheating on you. I would confront now, leave even if she says it isn't true. Do not bring up the text messages or that you checked her phone -just sit her down and say, "What is going on, is our relationship over, are you with somebody else". She will say, with tears, "There is nobody else, I just don't love you anymore." which means, "There is somebody else but if I admit it, you will think I am a slut." At this point, walk away, your relationship is over, no point calling her out on the other dude, the result will be the same.
Shabs
^^^ This man. He knows.Shabs
hora said:
Oh it is. Theres all this bks on the radio this morning about teens sending each other naked pics of themselves. At Uni it was/is far far far worse.... a few off your course, Union bar, at the Balls, Student nightclub, a few of the locals, housemates (before you got to know them), etc. Some of the girls on our course had the sincere respect of some of the lads for how brazen and up front they were.
+1 ks on the radio this morning about teens sending each other naked pics of themselves. At Uni it was/is far far far worse.... a few off your course, Union bar, at the Balls, Student nightclub, a few of the locals, housemates (before you got to know them), etc. Some of the girls on our course had the sincere respect of some of the lads for how brazen and up front they were. 
Of course it is, don't be ridiculous.To the OP... you want to see how bad it could have been?
http://pistonheads.co.uk/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&... <<<look at this poor sap, hes well and truely fked now and noone is there to help him.
Oh... wait... Ah bkS....
http://pistonheads.co.uk/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&... <<<look at this poor sap, hes well and truely f
ked now and noone is there to help him.Oh... wait... Ah b
kS....cardigankid said:
M3CHA-MONK3Y said:
..a lot of weird paranoid woman stuff...
I know that you are trying to help, but the content of that article is just a very sad commentary on the darker aspects of female psychology.Bonkers.
hora said:
Oh it is. Theres all this bks on the radio this morning about teens sending each other naked pics of themselves. At Uni it was/is far far far worse.... a few off your course, Union bar, at the Balls, Student nightclub, a few of the locals, housemates (before you got to know them), etc. Some of the girls on our course had the sincere respect of some of the lads for how brazen and up front they were.
I remember stood the entrance waiting for someone and a girl off my course came up to me. Got talking (as you do) and she pulled out a ultra-thick Durex condom. I asked where she got it from, said they were handing them out down the hall. Said she fancied finding out what anal is like with one. I didnt realise that she was ASKING me to try it with her. I bid her fairwell and went to my lecture. No doubt she asked someone else whilst I had my book out and listening to drivel
ks on the radio this morning about teens sending each other naked pics of themselves. At Uni it was/is far far far worse.... a few off your course, Union bar, at the Balls, Student nightclub, a few of the locals, housemates (before you got to know them), etc. Some of the girls on our course had the sincere respect of some of the lads for how brazen and up front they were. I remember stood the entrance waiting for someone and a girl off my course came up to me. Got talking (as you do) and she pulled out a ultra-thick Durex condom. I asked where she got it from, said they were handing them out down the hall. Said she fancied finding out what anal is like with one. I didnt realise that she was ASKING me to try it with her. I bid her fairwell and went to my lecture. No doubt she asked someone else whilst I had my book out and listening to drivel
Edited by hora on Tuesday 4th August 13:17
hora said:
Also...I remember once having a really vivid dream- burst into a room where someone was feckin my girlfried. Woke up and for ages I accused her saying 'well it seemed so real so you must have' etc. Sheesh- anyone else had this?!
no, but have had an OH pissed off with me all day because she dreamt that about me. pissed off at me for something she dreamt i did! WOMEN [and hora] - FFS!and all this crap about trying to catch her out, this isn't a soap, just talk the the girl. by now you've realised that there is a very real chance she is shagging some other bloke, prepare for that and allow the anger to go away, then talk to her calmly. trust me, if you end things that way its so much easier to move on.
Steamer said:
M3CHA-MONK3Y said:
My missus came back from a week in Ireland were she was in a skipping competition (yes she rope skips professionally)....
Wow! Hold it right there... this sounds like the next best spectator sport since mud wrestling!! 
thegavster said:
I was going up to see her at her uni (she normally came home every weekend otherwise) and was just putting my sim into the new phone. Whilst on the train, I went through this phone to clear out all the texts etc that she'd left on it. There were several texts from someone saying things like "See you later X" and "In *whatevernightclub* where are you love X". All this from a guy called Sam.
I could feel the rage building inside me, I was furious, I spent about 20 minutes trying to explain it, getting more and more angry, so in the end I phoned the number. It was her housemate, a girl called Sam. Somewhat embarrassing
.
So of course, she couldn't have been cheating on you with herI could feel the rage building inside me, I was furious, I spent about 20 minutes trying to explain it, getting more and more angry, so in the end I phoned the number. It was her housemate, a girl called Sam. Somewhat embarrassing
.
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