Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)

[paua]

Don1 said:

mickk said:

glenrobbo said:

Oh perleeeeez! Can we not show a bit of respect?

It's only just the start of the new year, surely it's far too early to start the Easter jokes???

You okay? You seem cross.

It's fine for Vipers, but I put up a joke and get crucified....

You wanted to wear that crown of thorns.

[Vipers]

rayny said:

Geoffrey 321 said:

Vipers said:

I'me self employed, if you see me talking to myself, don't worry, I'me having a staff meeting.

very good

First we had the additional Vipers line added to a joke. - Now we have the Vipers 'E' added to I'm (I am).
When is this going to end?

If it was a staff meeting, surely others would be in attendance. - Otherwise, it would be a management meeting!

I am going to return my spill chikker to Amezon

[mickk]

paua said:

Don1 said:

mickk said:

glenrobbo said:

Oh perleeeeez! Can we not show a bit of respect?

It's only just the start of the new year, surely it's far too early to start the Easter jokes???

You okay? You seem cross.

It's fine for Vipers, but I put up a joke and get crucified....

You wanted to wear that crown of thorns.

As long as you don't start resurrecting old jokes you should be fine.

[paua]

mickk said:

paua said:

Don1 said:

mickk said:

glenrobbo said:

Oh perleeeeez! Can we not show a bit of respect?

It's only just the start of the new year, surely it's far too early to start the Easter jokes???

You okay? You seem cross.

It's fine for Vipers, but I put up a joke and get crucified....

You wanted to wear that crown of thorns.

As long as you don't start resurrecting old jokes you should be fine.

Think I'll wait 3 days for that trick.

[glenrobbo]

...and they're off on a pun run on the SC joke thread again!

There's a thread for puns, you know.

[AW111]

^ Not a happy bunny.

[Cotty]

A box of condoms, please.
That’ll be 3,99. Do you want a bag with it?
Nah I’m OK. She’s actually quite pretty.

[mickk]

I scared the postman today by going to the door completely naked.

I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact I knew where he lived

[Monkeylegend]

A box of condoms please.

That will be £3.99 plus tax.

Forget the tax I'll tie them on.

[Sticks.]

[Vipers]

Sticks. said:

Don't mention the camels!

[Ultra Sound Guy]

AW111 said:

^ Not a happy punny.

FTFY!

[dartissimus]

paua said:

mickk said:

paua said:

Don1 said:

mickk said:

glenrobbo said:

Oh perleeeeez! Can we not show a bit of respect?

It's only just the start of the new year, surely it's far too early to start the Easter jokes???

You okay? You seem cross.

It's fine for Vipers, but I put up a joke and get crucified....

You wanted to wear that crown of thorns.

As long as you don't start resurrecting old jokes you should be fine.

Think I'll wait 3 days for that trick.

What a way to spend Easter

[Skyedriver]

Please stop egging him on, he'll just keep rabitting away.

[glenrobbo]

Sticks. said:

"Looking for some hot stuff baby this evening.. "

[Vipers]

Remember Raymond Burr who played Ironside on T.V,?

He had a younger brother, named Tim.

[MartG]

Vipers said:

Remember Raymond Burr who played Ironside on T.V,?

He had a younger brother, named Tim.

Fell over a lot IIRC

[GloverMart]

MartG said:

Vipers said:

Remember Raymond Burr who played Ironside on T.V,?

He had a younger brother, named Tim.

Fell over a lot IIRC

Well, he wood.

[66mpg]

There is a school of thought that says that the film director Hilary swank would be better known if her parents had named her Gloria.

[twing]

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean

all go to a nightclub ..................................

The doorman stops them and says sorry I can’t let you in without a Thai.