Things you always wanted to know the answer to [Vol. 3]
Discussion
exelero said:
There is actually 2 questions
No1: Why do always the useless pieces of s
ts are the ones that get promoted?
No2: Is one of my colleagues the same one in the first question, how can you accumulate 10 kilos every bloody year you lived? That saying she's about my size, 178 cm, 25 y.o. and about 250 kilos fat? How is that even possible? It's easier to jump over her rather then going around....
1, It varies from workplace to workplace, but it's usually far more straight forward than you think.No1: Why do always the useless pieces of s
ts are the ones that get promoted?No2: Is one of my colleagues the same one in the first question, how can you accumulate 10 kilos every bloody year you lived? That saying she's about my size, 178 cm, 25 y.o. and about 250 kilos fat? How is that even possible? It's easier to jump over her rather then going around....
My place before last was renowned for promoting idiots, big corporate place, we were evaluated on everything but the guys getting promoted usually did poorly to average on all of them, maybe exceptionally on 1-2 (of about 3 dozen things we were evaluated on) we used to try to work out what they were looking for.
The answer was annoyingly obvious in hindsight - on the front page of the HR section of our intranet was a searchable list of requirements for each role. Whilst we all worked hard trying to be actually good at our jobs and tried to guess what we should do to get ahead the ‘idiots’ looked at the skills required for next logical position for them, or the one they wanted - and did that – and it was a fairly mechanical thing, you needed skills A, B, C he’s a list of in-house courses and online videos for you, do these, complete the test at the end and you’ve got the skills. Some had to be shown in day to day work which accounted for the few things they worked hard to be They rarely wasted any time trying to do a good job because performance in your last role rarely, if ever, factored – they could be 1 of 5 people applying for a new role, if they could show HR they had the skills and the others didn’t they’d get it.
In short, most employers over 50 employees or so are almost completely procedure driven ESEPCAILLY when it comes to HR, work out the procedure and it’s a case of ticking the boxes. IME HR people rely on quantifiable processes a hell of a lot more than who well someone can act at interview or how good a fashion sense they have. Can you prove or convince them you have the right Skills, Attitude, Qualities?
If your workplace is smaller or less procedure driven then you have to ask whoever decides such things what skills you should have for whatever role you want – then get those, if it’s smaller and less procedure driven still you need to tell the Boss your plans and then ask them what you need to do .
Guess work and hope held me back for 5 years.
P-Jay said:
My place before last was renowned for promoting idiots...
...The answer was annoyingly obvious in hindsight - on the front page of the HR section of our intranet was a searchable list of requirements for each role. Whilst we all worked hard trying to be actually good at our jobs and tried to guess what we should do to get ahead the ‘idiots’ looked at the skills required for next logical position for them, or the one they wanted - and did that – and it was a fairly mechanical thing, you needed skills A, B, C he’s a list of in-house courses and online videos for you, do these, complete the test at the end and you’ve got the skills. Some had to be shown in day to day work which accounted for the few things they worked hard to be They rarely wasted any time trying to do a good job because performance in your last role rarely, if ever, factored – they could be 1 of 5 people applying for a new role, if they could show HR they had the skills and the others didn’t they’d get it.
These sound like clever people, not idiots....The answer was annoyingly obvious in hindsight - on the front page of the HR section of our intranet was a searchable list of requirements for each role. Whilst we all worked hard trying to be actually good at our jobs and tried to guess what we should do to get ahead the ‘idiots’ looked at the skills required for next logical position for them, or the one they wanted - and did that – and it was a fairly mechanical thing, you needed skills A, B, C he’s a list of in-house courses and online videos for you, do these, complete the test at the end and you’ve got the skills. Some had to be shown in day to day work which accounted for the few things they worked hard to be They rarely wasted any time trying to do a good job because performance in your last role rarely, if ever, factored – they could be 1 of 5 people applying for a new role, if they could show HR they had the skills and the others didn’t they’d get it.
MartG said:
schmunk said:
a said:
At one end of the scale you have our baby who is in the 99.9th centile for length/weight - so is very heavy to carry around.
Pffffft - you wait until you need to carry a drunk 17 year old up to bed...
schmunk said:
P-Jay said:
My place before last was renowned for promoting idiots...
...The answer was annoyingly obvious in hindsight - on the front page of the HR section of our intranet was a searchable list of requirements for each role. Whilst we all worked hard trying to be actually good at our jobs and tried to guess what we should do to get ahead the ‘idiots’ looked at the skills required for next logical position for them, or the one they wanted - and did that – and it was a fairly mechanical thing, you needed skills A, B, C he’s a list of in-house courses and online videos for you, do these, complete the test at the end and you’ve got the skills. Some had to be shown in day to day work which accounted for the few things they worked hard to be They rarely wasted any time trying to do a good job because performance in your last role rarely, if ever, factored – they could be 1 of 5 people applying for a new role, if they could show HR they had the skills and the others didn’t they’d get it.
These sound like clever people, not idiots....The answer was annoyingly obvious in hindsight - on the front page of the HR section of our intranet was a searchable list of requirements for each role. Whilst we all worked hard trying to be actually good at our jobs and tried to guess what we should do to get ahead the ‘idiots’ looked at the skills required for next logical position for them, or the one they wanted - and did that – and it was a fairly mechanical thing, you needed skills A, B, C he’s a list of in-house courses and online videos for you, do these, complete the test at the end and you’ve got the skills. Some had to be shown in day to day work which accounted for the few things they worked hard to be They rarely wasted any time trying to do a good job because performance in your last role rarely, if ever, factored – they could be 1 of 5 people applying for a new role, if they could show HR they had the skills and the others didn’t they’d get it.
For all their apparent lack of ability, they never lost focus on what they were there to do - to earn money for themselves as quickly and efficiently as possible.
We were all on performance related pay scales or “bonuses” as the papers call them. Promotion wasn’t always the only path to riches, but if you played the game well, it was better to earn a 10% Bonus and a £100k salary for a mediocre performance than earn a 40% Bonus and a £40k salary for a truly exceptional one 2 pay grades lower.
I should probably add that in this case, this is pre-crash stuff, post 2008 the employer did have a bit of a road to Damascus moment and a lot of them got the bullet, but then so did a lot of grafters too, only with smaller redundancy pay-offs.
vonuber said:
PostHeads123 said:
How people cope with more than 1 baby, I have 1 baby 14months now, never sleeps throw the night, been ill a lot in and out of hospital, pushed me and the misses to breaking point.
It gets better, hang in there.The other theory is that the problems and demands never go away, they just change. Sorry, bit depressing news for new parents there.
FiF said:
vonuber said:
PostHeads123 said:
How people cope with more than 1 baby, I have 1 baby 14months now, never sleeps throw the night, been ill a lot in and out of hospital, pushed me and the misses to breaking point.
It gets better, hang in there.The other theory is that the problems and demands never go away, they just change. Sorry, bit depressing news for new parents there.
sidekickdmr said:
Do wildlife recognise and feel compassion their own offspring once they have flown the nest?
Sat watching a mum/dad goose and about 8 goslings on the stream yesterday they were being very protective of them and clearly had a close bond, and we wondered, once they are old enough, and go their own way, do the parents still recognise and love their offspring, even years later?
Its only a small stream and leads to a small lake, so they are likely to see each other again, would they just swim by and not have a clue?
Same question applies to all animals, cats whose kittens get sold in the next street over, lions in the mountains, fish in the lakes.
I guess from the lack of responses that nobody else knows/cares eitherSat watching a mum/dad goose and about 8 goslings on the stream yesterday they were being very protective of them and clearly had a close bond, and we wondered, once they are old enough, and go their own way, do the parents still recognise and love their offspring, even years later?
Its only a small stream and leads to a small lake, so they are likely to see each other again, would they just swim by and not have a clue?
Same question applies to all animals, cats whose kittens get sold in the next street over, lions in the mountains, fish in the lakes.
FiF said:
The other theory is that the problems and demands never go away, they just change. Sorry, bit depressing news for new parents there.
Whilst this is true, the problems and demands older children bring are somewhat offset by actually getting a good night's sleep every night and having the chance to booze/let off steam much more often. Although expect higher petrol/diesel expenditure.SilverSixer said:
FiF said:
The other theory is that the problems and demands never go away, they just change. Sorry, bit depressing news for new parents there.
Whilst this is true, the problems and demands older children bring are somewhat offset by actually getting a good night's sleep every night and having the chance to booze/let off steam much more often. Although expect higher petrol/diesel expenditure.When Miss Jay was born 3 years ago, they said the first night was the hardest, and it was.
Then they said the first 2 weeks are the hardest, and they were.
Then they said the first 3 months were the hardest, and they were.
Then they said the first 6 months were the hardest, and they were.
It seems the first 3 years (and counting) are the hardest, it's a lot easier than it was, but it's never easy - you've got to look for the new normal I guess.
Every kid is different, Miss Jay didn't sleep for more than 2 hours on the bounce for 5 months, so we didn't sleep for more than 5 hours on the bounce for 5 months, my Wife was so broken by it, it meant I was never able to do that sleeping in the spare room thing other Dads got to do, there was a time when I wondered if I'd ever feel normal again.
After that first 5 months things got a lot easier - up to that point we were considered to be having a very rough time of it by other parents, but one night, we cracked the problem and aside from the odd night when she wakes up screaming because of something or other, she's slept through, my mate in work who had it easier at the start is having it tougher now - when his daughter was born we woke up twice in the night for about 15 mins, not 4 times for 30 mins like ours did - the difference is that his daughter still wakes up twice in the night - she's 2.
The financial drain has been harder than I ever thought possible, If I known then, what I know now, I would have said it was financially impossible. I don't want to use exact figures, but 40% of our take-home salary currently goes on expenses as a direct result of having a Baby, partly because we had to move, but child care is a terrifyingly expensive thing for us, my folks live abroad and my MIL passed away years ago, so we have to pay for the lot.
But, do you what? It’s all getting easier.
I sleep well.
I got to have a night out for my Birthday at the weekend, drank too much, stayed out late, and tackled Sunday with a hangover – couldn’t face that last year when she was 2, unthinkable when she was 1.
In August she starts nursey part-time, it doesn’t save half our childcare bills, but it’s a decent saving all the same.
She’s a lot of fun to be with – small babies aren’t interactive enough for Dads I don’t think, but as they grow and develop personalities they much easier for Dads to bond with.
She’s into the nursery we wanted, which gives us a very good chance she’ll get into the school we want too.
She’s now reached an age where you can go out for a family meal and things like that and not spend all the time worrying she’ll get bored or just start screaming for no good reason.
We can even occasionally be out of the house with her post-7pm which means I don’t have to spend most of my evenings watching TV.
She’s potty trained, I haven’t touched human s
t, or indeed any other kind of st for months. Nest year will be easier still. No childcare costs, more time, less stress. I don’t for a second expect it to be easy all the time, many spanners will fall into every part of the works between now, and when I die probably, you don’t get to quit when they’re 18.
As much as the last 3 years have been incredibly hard, certainly the hardest thing I’ve ever done – I once, had an accident so bad I was in hospital for 3 weeks, unemployed and too sick to work for 9 months, I spent a full year in physio and lived in pain all day, every day – wasn’t as hard as the first few months when my Daughter came along, but they’ve been brilliant, at least the bits when I wasn’t crying into my cornflakes.
Would I do it again? NOT A CHANCE IN HELL, I had the snip before her 2nd birthday.
P-Jay said:
Would I do it again? NOT A CHANCE IN HELL, I had the snip before her 2nd birthday.
Yes. This. With hindsight. My second arrived just after my first one had his third birthday, at which time the first one was STILL not sleeping through the night. As a baby/toddler he would usually wake 5 times a night, often it was 7 times. Baby 2 was less wakeful, but she didn't sleep that well either and was 4 years old before sleeping properly through. So, we didn't get a single night's proper sleep for 7 years. Not one.I think I'm still a bit physically f
ked from it and I'll never recover.What the f
k possessed me to agree to going for a second one in those circumstances I don't know, I'm not even sure I did, frankly the whole era is now clouded in my memory and I've probably erased a lot of it due to trauma. Not only all that, but my missus got cancer leading to full chemo, the works, when my second was 12 months old (she's fully recovered now).Still, I now have two of the most fantastic children I could ever have dreamed of, now aged 12 and 9. Problems are few and far between, but I am expecting an uptick on the graph as soon as the first 13 is breached this December................the signs are starting to show.
The best years for me are from about age 7 to where we are now. If I'd have been told about the first 7 years before it happened, I'd have smashed my own knackers flat with a meat tenderiser. But, now on the other side, I'm glad I've done it.
Your comments on the financials are striking a chord with me too, but having assumed that childcare costs would go *poof* when they started school, my missus got a the scent of private school up her nostrils and we're now committed to both of them going private until they're 18. Against my principals and wishes (wife is the bigger earner, so I have deferred, and with what she's been through.........), and by Christ it's financially very difficult. I think the burden might end around my retirement age, which will be on the light side due to most spare income going on education. But there we are. You can't take it with you, so I'm told......
jdw100 said:
sidekickdmr said:
I guess from the lack of responses that nobody else knows/cares either
Elephants certainly can and even recognise the skulls of dead elephants and have been shown to grieve.As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.
Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenage son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.
The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn’t the same elephant.
SilverSixer said:
Your comments on the financials are striking a chord with me too, but having assumed that childcare costs would go *poof* when they started school, my missus got a the scent of private school up her nostrils and we're now committed to both of them going private until they're 18. Against my principals and wishes (wife is the bigger earner, so I have deferred, and with what she's been through.........), and by Christ it's financially very difficult. I think the burden might end around my retirement age, which will be on the light side due to most spare income going on education. But there we are. You can't take it with you, so I'm told......
I would have said that private education wasn't going to be possible for ours (full disclosure, I've got an 11 year old Son too, but I took on the role when he was 4 so Daughter was the first go at being a new Dad for me).A lot of the in-laws have privately educated their kids and they're all successful, but it just wasn't possible for the eldest, we've tried to over-come the shortfall by hiring a tutor one evening a week and getting stuck in with the homework with him, his sister arriving didn't help that but I'm happy to say that he's doing very well in school at the moment.
That said, we've been offered an opportunity to relocate to the middle-east for 2 years, it means a massive bump in income, the chance to get back on our feet financially again and save a big whack of money - great. It also means Private School for the kids for 2 years, the very same Private School my Sister attended. I left school with middle of the road A-Levels, she's graduated with a 1st from Oxford just last week (she's 18 years my junior).
I suspect that if it comes off (it's a big if) and the kids do well in their fancy pants school, which I have every faith they will, then when the 2 years is up we'll either have to stay to keep it up, or burn through our new-found wealth to educate them back home.
They things we do eh?
I'd just like to have some spare cash for a Motorbike.
TheLordJohn said:
Thanks for the Dads honesty - i don't want kids (I'm 29 and wife is 33) and we're sick to death of our peer group telling us our life won't be complete until we've had them.
I think they know they've ruined their life and wish us to follow suit.
You may not be a million miles away from the truth there.I think they know they've ruined their life and wish us to follow suit.
TBH, if you don't want kids, for the love of god don't have them, especially don't have them because:
Your parents want Grandkids.
You feel (or more likely your Wife feels) like you 'should'.
You're being told that one day you'll really want kids and it'll be too late. I think that one is especially tough for Women, partly because with Men as long as you can walk and talk you can probably still have kids.
I have friends without kids, sometimes I envy them, but mostly I think about their too quiet, too clean, too clinical lives and feel a bit sorry for them - they've invariably got a Pet they love too much, which gets treated like a baby when it suits them but I also know they think about out chaotic lives, the mess we live in, things we worry about they don't, the fact it takes a weeks planning and 2 days execution to actually leave the house as a family and feel sorry for us.
We're happy, they're happy, I think it's best to stay in whatever camp suits you and if nothing else, you can always join the 'having kids' club, well, up to a point, you can't leave it though, it's forever.
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