Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[PoleDriver]

[Halmyre]

K12beano said:

mickk said:

havoc said:

What are you asked to say as a picture is taken?

3 points?

"I want my lawyer!"

"I'll buy the negatives*!"

* suppose nowadays it's the memory card...

[callmedave]

havoc said:

What are you asked to say as a picture is taken?

Oh, thanks.

Still not funny though.

[Quickmoose]

callmedave said:

havoc said:

What are you asked to say as a picture is taken?

Oh, thanks.

Still not funny though.

clearly... a man died...

[mickk]

schmunk said:

mickk said:

I said to my mate "My wife keeps pestering me to dress up as an Alice in Wonderland character!"

He replied "Are you mad at her?"



I thought don't you start!

You as well? She was pestering PoleDriver last week...

Damn, probably where I heard it.

[havoc]

callmedave said:

Still not funny though.

Agreed.

[Vipers]

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

Ones quite heavy, the other is a little lighter.

[B'stard Child]

Vipers said:

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

Ones quite heavy, the other is a little lighter.

[twing]

Q: What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory?

A: All that was left was de brie.

[davhill]

Didja hear about the explosion in a classic kitchen in a museum?

Linoleum blown apart.

[Adenauer]

Brain: ‚That’s it, the perfect sleeping position.‘
Back: ‘Yep, that’s perfect, bliss.’
Joints: ‘Absolutely.’
Muscles: ‘Wonderful, so relaxing.’
Bladder: ‘Hi x.’

[EarlOfHazard]

Adenauer said:

Brain: ‚That’s it, the perfect sleeping position.‘
Back: ‘Yep, that’s perfect, bliss.’
Joints: ‘Absolutely.’
Muscles: ‘Wonderful, so relaxing.’
Bladder: ‘Hi x.’

[bearman68]

What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?






You can wash your hands in a bison....

[Vipers]

EarlOfHazard said:

Adenauer said:

Brain: ‚That’s it, the perfect sleeping position.‘
Back: ‘Yep, that’s perfect, bliss.’
Joints: ‘Absolutely.’
Muscles: ‘Wonderful, so relaxing.’
Bladder: ‘Hi x.’

Ain't that the truth.

[StevieBee]

twing said:

Q: What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory?

A: All that was left was de brie.

Similar to the explosion at the pie factory.

3.14 people died.

[twing]

StevieBee said:

Similar to the explosion at the pie factory.

3.14 people died.

[Dusty964]

This will be my last post for a while- I'm being investigated for stealing swimming pool inflatables.

I gotta lie low.

[McAndy]

Dusty964 said:

This will be my last post for a while- I'm being investigated for stealing swimming pool inflatables.

I gotta lie low.

So that they can't trace you, don't pay by card anywhere: carry a float with you.

[Hugo a Gogo]

McAndy said:

Dusty964 said:

This will be my last post for a while- I'm being investigated for stealing swimming pool inflatables.

I gotta lie low.

So that they can't trace you, don't pay by card anywhere: carry a float with you.

don't let him down like that

[GAjon]

Hugo a Gogo said:

McAndy said:

Dusty964 said:

This will be my last post for a while- I'm being investigated for stealing swimming pool inflatables.

I gotta lie low.

So that they can't trace you, don't pay by card anywhere: carry a float with you.

don't let him down like that

Oh bouy!