Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[Morningside]

GAjon said:

Hugo a Gogo said:

McAndy said:

Dusty964 said:

This will be my last post for a while- I'm being investigated for stealing swimming pool inflatables.

I gotta lie low.

So that they can't trace you, don't pay by card anywhere: carry a float with you.

don't let him down like that

Oh bouy!

Don't worry I've implemented a raft of measures.

[McAndy]

Morningside said:

GAjon said:

Hugo a Gogo said:

McAndy said:

Dusty964 said:

This will be my last post for a while- I'm being investigated for stealing swimming pool inflatables.

I gotta lie low.

So that they can't trace you, don't pay by card anywhere: carry a float with you.

don't let him down like that

Oh bouy!

Don't worry I've implemented a raft of measures.

He shouldn't have been piscine about.

[EarlOfHazard]

McAndy said:

Morningside said:

GAjon said:

Hugo a Gogo said:

McAndy said:

Dusty964 said:

This will be my last post for a while- I'm being investigated for stealing swimming pool inflatables.

I gotta lie low.

So that they can't trace you, don't pay by card anywhere: carry a float with you.

don't let him down like that

Oh bouy!

Don't worry I've implemented a raft of measures.

He shouldn't have been piscine about.

unfortunately, arm band from the local swimming pool

[SeeFive]

I bought one and when I blew it up it was faulty, looked a bit like a big fish all out of shape.

They said it was like that on porpoise.

[Vipers]

A sanitary towel company is conducting a survey on what products women use.

Man knocks on the first door, "Good morning madam, we are carrying out a survey on what pads you use"

Woman says "I use Tampax",

"Thank you", and he knocks on the next door.

Good morning madam, we are carrying out a survey on what pads you use"

Woman says "Those ones with wings on".

Thank you", and he knocks on the next door.

Good morning madam, we are carrying out a survey on what pads you use"

Woman says "Brillo"

He thinks, we have a bright here.

[Doofus]

Yay! Vipers is back to his old self!

[fatboy18]

Tim Peak is taking it a bit far, all we did was vote to leave the EU...Not Earth!

[K12beano]

fatboy18 said:

Tim Peak is taking it a bit far, all we did was vote to leave the EU...Not Earth!

Funnily enough, his neighbour, Tim Peake is going back to space........

[K12beano]

[fatboy18]

K12beano said:

fatboy18 said:

Tim Peak is taking it a bit far, all we did was vote to leave the EU...Not Earth!

Funnily enough, his neighbour, Tim Peake is going back to space........

Well I thought he was at the Top of his Game?

[Monkeylegend]

fatboy18 said:

K12beano said:

fatboy18 said:

Tim Peak is taking it a bit far, all we did was vote to leave the EU...Not Earth!

Funnily enough, his neighbour, Tim Peake is going back to space........

Well I thought he was at the Top of his Game?

Not so sure about that, he was spaced out a lot of the time.

[PoleDriver]

SWMBO just asked me, " if you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would you choose?"

I said the living one. Daft question if you ask me!!

[evil len]

I've got an annoying habit of quoting Elton John lyrics.
I hope you don't mind. I hope you don't mind.

[evil len]

Me: I've got a job in a bowling alley.
Wife: Tenpin?
Me: No, it's permanent.

[Vipers]

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric.

[GloverMart]

evil len said:

I've got an annoying habit of quoting Elton John lyrics.
I hope you don't mind. I hope you don't mind.

It's a little bit funny....

[PoleDriver]

I went to the florist today and asked for a large bunch of flowers for my girlfriend.
"What is it you're after?" The florist asked.
"A shag!" I replied!

[Justayellowbadge]

GloverMart said:

evil len said:

I've got an annoying habit of quoting Elton John lyrics.
I hope you don't mind. I hope you don't mind.

It's a little bit funny....

[ArmaghMan]

GloverMart said:

evil len said:

I've got an annoying habit of quoting Elton John lyrics.
I hope you don't mind. I hope you don't mind.

It's a little bit funny....

.......Laughing like children

[gowmonster]

looks like Kane has had a little alien problem with his stomach RIP.