Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)
Discussion
PixelpeepS3 said:
8:10 am: I made a snowman.
.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
.
8:10 - So, I made a snow woman.
.
8:10 - My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
.
8:10 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
.
8:10 - The transgender person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
.
8:10 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
.
8:10 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
.
8:10 - The Muslim gent across the road demanded the snow woman wear a burqa.
.
8:10 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended
.
8:10 - The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
.
8:10 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
.
8:10 - TV news crew from Sky News showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
.
8:10 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic, sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
.
8:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
.
8:10 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be beheaded
8:10 - Realised my watch was broken.
.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
.
8:10 - So, I made a snow woman.
.
8:10 - My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
.
8:10 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
.
8:10 - The transgender person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
.
8:10 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
.
8:10 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
.
8:10 - The Muslim gent across the road demanded the snow woman wear a burqa.
.
8:10 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended
.
8:10 - The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
.
8:10 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
.
8:10 - TV news crew from Sky News showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
.
8:10 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic, sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
.
8:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
.
8:10 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be beheaded
8:10 - Realised my watch was broken.
funkyrobot said:
PixelpeepS3 said:
8:10 am: I made a snowman.
.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
.
8:10 - So, I made a snow woman.
.
8:10 - My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
.
8:10 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
.
8:10 - The transgender person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
.
8:10 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
.
8:10 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
.
8:10 - The Muslim gent across the road demanded the snow woman wear a burqa.
.
8:10 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended
.
8:10 - The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
.
8:10 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
.
8:10 - TV news crew from Sky News showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
.
8:10 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic, sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
.
8:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
.
8:10 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be beheaded
8:10 - Realised my watch was broken.
.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
.
8:10 - So, I made a snow woman.
.
8:10 - My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
.
8:10 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
.
8:10 - The transgender person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
.
8:10 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
.
8:10 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
.
8:10 - The Muslim gent across the road demanded the snow woman wear a burqa.
.
8:10 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended
.
8:10 - The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
.
8:10 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
.
8:10 - TV news crew from Sky News showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
.
8:10 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic, sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
.
8:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
.
8:10 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be beheaded
8:10 - Realised my watch was broken.
From another forum I go on, not a joke as such but thought this would make you laugh!
When we left UK in April 82, bound Ascension Island with 1000 paras onboard, there was a feeling amongst some, we would just drop them off to other RN ships and proceed back to UK.
After only 24 hours at Ascension, we left bound the Falklands with reality staring us in the face.
A week away from the main event, they lined us up and a M.O. took blood samples. He and his assistant were none to pleased when the 3/E looked at what was drawn from his arm and announced "Jesus, I was saving that for an erection."
When we left UK in April 82, bound Ascension Island with 1000 paras onboard, there was a feeling amongst some, we would just drop them off to other RN ships and proceed back to UK.
After only 24 hours at Ascension, we left bound the Falklands with reality staring us in the face.
A week away from the main event, they lined us up and a M.O. took blood samples. He and his assistant were none to pleased when the 3/E looked at what was drawn from his arm and announced "Jesus, I was saving that for an erection."
PixelpeepS3 said:
8:00 am: I made a snowman.
.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
.
8:17 - My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
.
8:22 - The transgender person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
.
8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
.
8:31 - The Muslim gent across the road demanded the snow woman wear a burqa.
.
8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended
.
8:42 - The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
.
8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
.
8:45 - TV news crew from Sky News showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
.
9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic, sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
.
9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be beheaded
9.35 They all melted.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
.
8:17 - My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
.
8:22 - The transgender person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
.
8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
.
8:31 - The Muslim gent across the road demanded the snow woman wear a burqa.
.
8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended
.
8:42 - The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
.
8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
.
8:45 - TV news crew from Sky News showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
.
9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic, sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
.
9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be beheaded
Clarance was a young very shy chappie, and had a sheltered upbringing.
He had met a lovely girl who also had a sheltered upbringing, they got engaged, and were to be married soon, both were worried about what to do on their wedding night.
Clarance, thought he would ask a couple of chaps what they did on their wedding night, in particular how many times they made love to their new brides.
He spoke to four of his best friends, who shyly said mabe two or three times, one even said four.
Clarance thought it over, and thought he would ask Charlie, he was just an aquantance he had met in the pub, he was a man of the world and didnt mince his words but Clarance he knew he was honest.
So Clarance asked Charlie how many times did he and his wife make love on their wedding night.
Charlie chuckled and said "Just once"
Clarance, thought odd, man like Charlie would probably be all over her.
So Clarance asked "What did she say in the morning"
"GET OFF!"
He had met a lovely girl who also had a sheltered upbringing, they got engaged, and were to be married soon, both were worried about what to do on their wedding night.
Clarance, thought he would ask a couple of chaps what they did on their wedding night, in particular how many times they made love to their new brides.
He spoke to four of his best friends, who shyly said mabe two or three times, one even said four.
Clarance thought it over, and thought he would ask Charlie, he was just an aquantance he had met in the pub, he was a man of the world and didnt mince his words but Clarance he knew he was honest.
So Clarance asked Charlie how many times did he and his wife make love on their wedding night.
Charlie chuckled and said "Just once"
Clarance, thought odd, man like Charlie would probably be all over her.
So Clarance asked "What did she say in the morning"
"GET OFF!"
Skyedriver said:
PixelpeepS3 said:
8:00 am: I made a snowman.
.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
.
8:17 - My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
.
8:22 - The transgender person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
.
8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
.
8:31 - The Muslim gent across the road demanded the snow woman wear a burqa.
.
8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended
.
8:42 - The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
.
8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
.
8:45 - TV news crew from Sky News showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
.
9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic, sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
.
9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be beheaded
9.35 They all melted.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
.
8:17 - My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
.
8:22 - The transgender person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
.
8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
.
8:31 - The Muslim gent across the road demanded the snow woman wear a burqa.
.
8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended
.
8:42 - The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
.
8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
.
8:45 - TV news crew from Sky News showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
.
9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic, sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
.
9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be beheaded
Old, but still amusing...
Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy."
Hardy: "Aye, aye sir."
Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the
meaning of this?"
Hardy: "Sorry sir?"
Nelson (reading aloud): "' England expects every person to do his or
her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious
persuasion or disability.' - What gobbledegook is this?"
Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal
opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting '
England ' past the censors, lest it be considered racist."
Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."
Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated
smoke-free working environments."
Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the
mainbrace to steel the men before battle."
Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the
Government's policy on binge drinking."
Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it
........... full speed ahead."
Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this
stretch of water."
Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in
history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's
nest please."
Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir."
Nelson: "What?"
Hardy: "Health and Safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No
harness; and they said that rope ladders don't meet regulations. They
won't let anyone up there until a proper scaffolding can be erected."
Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."
Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the foredeck
Admiral."
Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."
Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a
barrier-free environment for the differently abled."
Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse
even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral
by playing the disability card."
Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under represented in
the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."
Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."
Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't
let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want
anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?"
Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell
the men to stand by to engage the enemy."
Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."
Nelson: "What? This is mutiny!"
Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being
charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There's a couple of
legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."
Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"
Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not."
Nelson: "We're not?"
Hardy: "No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners
now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in
this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for
compensation."
Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."
Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity co-ordinator hear you
saying that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary report."
Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your
King."
Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural
age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your
life"
Nelson: "Don't tell me - health and safety. Whatever happened to rum,
sodomy and the lash?"
Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on
corporal punishment."
Nelson: "What about sodomy?"
Hardy: "I believe that is now legal, sir."
Nelson: "In that case............................... kiss me, Hardy."
Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy."
Hardy: "Aye, aye sir."
Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the
meaning of this?"
Hardy: "Sorry sir?"
Nelson (reading aloud): "' England expects every person to do his or
her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious
persuasion or disability.' - What gobbledegook is this?"
Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal
opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting '
England ' past the censors, lest it be considered racist."
Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."
Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated
smoke-free working environments."
Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the
mainbrace to steel the men before battle."
Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the
Government's policy on binge drinking."
Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it
........... full speed ahead."
Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this
stretch of water."
Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in
history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's
nest please."
Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir."
Nelson: "What?"
Hardy: "Health and Safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No
harness; and they said that rope ladders don't meet regulations. They
won't let anyone up there until a proper scaffolding can be erected."
Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."
Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the foredeck
Admiral."
Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."
Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a
barrier-free environment for the differently abled."
Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse
even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral
by playing the disability card."
Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under represented in
the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."
Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."
Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't
let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want
anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?"
Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell
the men to stand by to engage the enemy."
Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."
Nelson: "What? This is mutiny!"
Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being
charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There's a couple of
legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."
Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"
Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not."
Nelson: "We're not?"
Hardy: "No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners
now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in
this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for
compensation."
Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."
Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity co-ordinator hear you
saying that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary report."
Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your
King."
Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural
age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your
life"
Nelson: "Don't tell me - health and safety. Whatever happened to rum,
sodomy and the lash?"
Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on
corporal punishment."
Nelson: "What about sodomy?"
Hardy: "I believe that is now legal, sir."
Nelson: "In that case............................... kiss me, Hardy."
Vipers said:
Clarance was a young very shy chappie, and had a sheltered upbringing.
He had met a lovely girl who also had a sheltered upbringing, they got engaged, and were to be married soon, both were worried about what to do on their wedding night.
Clarance, thought he would ask a couple of chaps what they did on their wedding night, in particular how many times they made love to their new brides.
He spoke to four of his best friends, who shyly said mabe two or three times, one even said four.
Clarance thought it over, and thought he would ask Charlie, he was just an aquantance he had met in the pub, he was a man of the world and didnt mince his words but Clarance he knew he was honest.
So Clarance asked Charlie how many times did he and his wife make love on their wedding night.
Charlie chuckled and said "Just once"
Clarance, thought odd, man like Charlie would probably be all over her.
So Clarance asked "What did she say in the morning"
"GET OFF!"
He had met a lovely girl who also had a sheltered upbringing, they got engaged, and were to be married soon, both were worried about what to do on their wedding night.
Clarance, thought he would ask a couple of chaps what they did on their wedding night, in particular how many times they made love to their new brides.
He spoke to four of his best friends, who shyly said mabe two or three times, one even said four.
Clarance thought it over, and thought he would ask Charlie, he was just an aquantance he had met in the pub, he was a man of the world and didnt mince his words but Clarance he knew he was honest.
So Clarance asked Charlie how many times did he and his wife make love on their wedding night.
Charlie chuckled and said "Just once"
Clarance, thought odd, man like Charlie would probably be all over her.
So Clarance asked "What did she say in the morning"
"GET OFF!"
A woman goes to a counselor, worried about her husband's temper.The counselor asks, "What's the problem?
The woman says, "I don't know what to do. Every day my husband loses his temper for no reason. It scares me."
The Counselor says, "I have a cure for that. When it seems your husband is getting angry, take a double shot of Jack Daniel's and swish it in your mouth. Swish and swish, but don't swallow it or spit it out until he either leaves the room or calms down."
Two weeks later, she goes back to the counselor, looking fresh and reborn. She tells the counselor, "That was a brilliant idea. Every time my husband started to get angry, I swished the Jack. I swished and swished, and he calmed down. How does swishing Jack Daniel's in your mouth do that?
The counselor said, "The Jack Daniel's does nothing. Keeping your mouth shut is the trick."
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.
K12beano said:
Korngold
Hammer
Smetna
Mahler....
Eh?
I’m making a Czech list....
Confirm Natinality of Goran Ivanisevich... Hammer
Smetna
Mahler....
Eh?
I’m making a Czech list....
Another word for Gingham...
A piece of paper taken as payment for goods or services...
Knight to Queen 4 ...
Wrestling term for a bodyblock ...
I took my suitcase to the airport and left it with the desk...
fatboy18 said:
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.
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