Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)
Discussion
A police officer was walking down lovers lane just before midnight on a cold and foggy evening and came across a car with steamed up windows. He knocked on the drivers window and a young lad wound the window down. In the passenger seat was a young girl knitting and the boy had a book in his lap.
The officer asked the lad what they were doing on the lane late at night to which the boy replied that he was revising for his exams and the girl was obviously knitting. The copper then asked the lad how old he was, to which he replied that he was 18. The copper asked how old the girl was, to which she replied that she was 16 in two minutes.
The officer asked the lad what they were doing on the lane late at night to which the boy replied that he was revising for his exams and the girl was obviously knitting. The copper then asked the lad how old he was, to which he replied that he was 18. The copper asked how old the girl was, to which she replied that she was 16 in two minutes.
Ructions said:
My dad died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for the paramedics to give him a blood transfusion.
As he was dying he kept insisting "be positive", but it's hard without him.
My dad died last year. among the things he left in his Legacy were some jump leads, a tartan blanket and the original Subaru owners manual.As he was dying he kept insisting "be positive", but it's hard without him.
Caruso said:
Ructions said:
My dad died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for the paramedics to give him a blood transfusion.
As he was dying he kept insisting "be positive", but it's hard without him.
My dad died last year. among the things he left in his Legacy were some jump leads, a tartan blanket and the original Subaru owners manual.As he was dying he kept insisting "be positive", but it's hard without him.
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer, you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God replies, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake, he should never have gotten down there, send him up here." Satan says, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?"
Caruso said:
Ructions said:
My dad died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for the paramedics to give him a blood transfusion.
As he was dying he kept insisting "be positive", but it's hard without him.
My dad died last year. among the things he left in his Legacy were some jump leads, a tartan blanket and the original Subaru owners manual.As he was dying he kept insisting "be positive", but it's hard without him.
a couple of good ones 
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