Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[Cotty]

Evangelion said:

Not necessarily, you could always introduce a rule that anyone exceeding a lap time of, say, 2 minutes would be excluded.

(Then sit back and enjoy watching everybody trying to get as close as possible to 1:59.999 ..).

Thats called bracket racing in Drag Racing.

[Shakermaker]

sparkyhx said:

Dont think 007 had the most terrifying baddy in any film EVER....................the child catcher ........... Jason & Freddie meh

All about audience perception though. .

Jason and Freddie were characters in a horror/slasher film, it was kind of a given that they would be unpleasant to many.

Whereas the child catcher shows up in the middle of a film primarily aimed at children, so to them, it might well seem much more terrifying. I remember my sisters being both completely horrified by him.

[srebbe64]

Speed 3 said:

Evangelion said:

Not my mrs, but my dad's.

Watching F1 qualifying, mother suddenly says:

"That's not fair, is it?"

"How do you mean?" I asked (foolishly).

"Well, surely it would be better if they put the slowest at the front, and the fastest at the back?"

Would probably make it a more interesting spectacle....

It would make qualifying interesting too as each driver tries to set the longest time!

[Dracoro]

srebbe64 said:

Speed 3 said:

Evangelion said:

Not my mrs, but my dad's.

Watching F1 qualifying, mother suddenly says:

"That's not fair, is it?"

"How do you mean?" I asked (foolishly).

"Well, surely it would be better if they put the slowest at the front, and the fastest at the back?"

Would probably make it a more interesting spectacle....

It would make qualifying interesting too as each driver tries to set the longest time!

My suggestion is to have the start grid a reverse of the top 10 from the previous race. The rest then do qualifying from 11 onwards. Means quite the race for 10th for those > 10 fighting to not have to qualify next race and start 1st.

[bobtail4x4]

her car key has stopped working, so she has been using mine,
no she didnt loose it,
I booked the car in to a mates garage for a new key to be supplied and coded to the car,
she came home tonight saying its all sorted,

call in tommorow to pay him...........

[Tyre Tread]

bobtail4x4 said:

her car key has stopped working, so she has been using mine,
no she didnt loose it,
I booked the car in to a mates garage for a new key to be supplied and coded to the car,
she came home tonight saying its all sorted,

call in tommorow to pay him...........

[shep1001]

Last night..... We have had a power cut!

Me: No we haven't
SWMBO: Yes we have the microwave & oven both show '0:00'
Me: What time is it you spud?
SWMBO: F'ck off

[Brads67]

bobtail4x4 said:

her car key has stopped working, so she has been using mine,
no she didnt loose it,
I booked the car in to a mates garage for a new key to be supplied and coded to the car,
she came home tonight saying its all sorted,

call in tommorow to pay him...........

And ?

[Brads67]

shep1001 said:

Last night..... We have had a power cut!

Me: No we haven't
SWMBO: Yes we have the microwave & oven both show '0:00'
Me: What time is it you spud?
SWMBO: F'ck off

Classic.

[Shakermaker]

Brads67 said:

bobtail4x4 said:

her car key has stopped working, so she has been using mine,
no she didnt loose it,
I booked the car in to a mates garage for a new key to be supplied and coded to the car,
she came home tonight saying its all sorted,

call in tommorow to pay him...........

And ?

The implication being that he has to pay for a fault on her car, where perhaps he was expecting her to pay for her own car problems?

[glenrobbo]

Shakermaker said:

Brads67 said:

bobtail4x4 said:

her car key has stopped working, so she has been using mine,
no she didnt loose it,
I booked the car in to a mates garage for a new key to be supplied and coded to the car,
she came home tonight saying its all sorted,

call in tommorow to pay him...........

And ?

The implication being that he has to pay for a fault on her car, where perhaps he was expecting her to pay for her own car problems?

Classic.

[bobtail4x4]

correct

[sooty61]

In John Lewis today we were looking at novelty chocolates and she pipes up “Ooh look, they have small chocolate penises”. I thought “they can’t have”. They didn’t, they were chocolate mice. Either she has forgotten what a penis looks like or my penis looks like a small mouse

[bobtail4x4]

more a scale thing?

[SpeckledJim]

sooty61 said:

In John Lewis today we were looking at novelty chocolates and she pipes up “Ooh look, they have small chocolate penises”. I thought “they can’t have”. They didn’t, they were chocolate mice. Either she has forgotten what a penis looks like or my penis looks like a small mouse

Or it makes her go 'eeek!'

[vaud]

SpeckledJim said:

sooty61 said:

In John Lewis today we were looking at novelty chocolates and she pipes up “Ooh look, they have small chocolate penises”. I thought “they can’t have”. They didn’t, they were chocolate mice. Either she has forgotten what a penis looks like or my penis looks like a small mouse

Or it makes her go 'eeek!'

Or she wants to hit it with a big stick until it goes away.

[havoc]

SpeckledJim said:

sooty61 said:

In John Lewis today we were looking at novelty chocolates and she pipes up “Ooh look, they have small chocolate penises”. I thought “they can’t have”. They didn’t, they were chocolate mice. Either she has forgotten what a penis looks like or my penis looks like a small mouse

Or it makes her go 'eeek!'

Smells of cheese?

[TwigtheWonderkid]

sooty61 said:

Either she has forgotten what a penis looks like or my penis looks like a small mouse

No reason why it can't be both.

[sparkyhx]

Shakermaker said:

sparkyhx said:

Dont think 007 had the most terrifying baddy in any film EVER....................the child catcher ........... Jason & Freddie meh

All about audience perception though. .

Jason and Freddie were characters in a horror/slasher film, it was kind of a given that they would be unpleasant to many.

Whereas the child catcher shows up in the middle of a film primarily aimed at children, so to them, it might well seem much more terrifying. I remember my sisters being both completely horrified by him.

Thats rationalising it you boring man, leave me with my memories

[Brads67]

sooty61 said:

In John Lewis today we were looking at novelty chocolates and she pipes up “Ooh look, they have small chocolate penises”. I thought “they can’t have”. They didn’t, they were chocolate mice. Either she has forgotten what a penis looks like or my penis looks like a small mouse

Yup. plenty mileage in that one.
I'd have left that one untyped haha