Match.com (Volume 6)
Discussion
matrignano said:
feef said:
Query on the overlap between tinder/bumble and Insta...
Quite a few profiles have "find me on insta:" with their nick listed. Are they ACTUALLY wanting you to follow them and strike up a conversation on Insta rather than Tinder or whatnot? Or is it more just to show off their photos of their lunch, pets and holidays?
It's to get more followers. Probably trying to become "influencers" and earn a living for doing jack sQuite a few profiles have "find me on insta:" with their nick listed. Are they ACTUALLY wanting you to follow them and strike up a conversation on Insta rather than Tinder or whatnot? Or is it more just to show off their photos of their lunch, pets and holidays?
tI know of an airhead with fake tits & a penchant for expensive s
t like wky handbags & the like who claims to be living out in Dubai working for some oil exec company who is continually insta'ing the crap out of herself with 'designer' stuff tagged in blatantly posed photos in car showrooms, the front steps of 5* hotels & even claiming she's flying 'home' for the weekend on the private jet that the place she works for allegedly owns. Problem is, the stupid cow links stuff to her FB account that contains stuff that blatantly contradicts her Instgram existence. Fit but as thick as a whale omelette. TroubledSoul said:
The club opposite Phono by the way was Ritzy's. A real hell hole.
You're right, well remembered. It was f**kin pants => I recall going there once. It must have been winter time as all the lasses were queuing up wearing skirts that Debhenams would be selling as belts, and a crop-top that made wearing a mankini look like you were over dressed. All this with two inches of snow outside.
If you were into Alternative music, the lasses wouldn't look at you twice.
Which brings me back to thoughts of Anita G. Met her in the Duchess at some weird American hard core band who's name I can't remember. We got talking (I mean that's all it took back then - girls only talked to you if they wanted to get giggy, right?).
Anyway classical goth looking, extremely fine features, long flowing hair, perfect makeup, and an interest in alternative music.
I was told in no uncertain terms that it was never going to happen, but every time I went to Leeds I always called in to see her. She used to send postal letters to me in this amazing gothic script fountain pen hand written swirly font telling me all about the bands she had seen that week. She loved smarties so I'd always arrive with a super large tube for her. (snigger)
She later let on that she had MS and was losing the use of her left arm/hand so I used to paint her finger nails on her right hand as she couldn't manage it herself. If the weather was fine we used to go for a spin on the bike out into the Dales.
Eventually she moved house and I moved house and we lost touch. I often wonder how she's doing now.
jonamv8 said:
wow i've just caught up on the last few pages of this thread, some corkers in here. i've been howling away at my office PC!
When I've been single I've had periods of having multiple birds on the go at the same time, bloody hell it is hard work.
I’ve got 2 currently on the go and we are all due to go to the same night out on friday.... When I've been single I've had periods of having multiple birds on the go at the same time, bloody hell it is hard work.
This is a current, semi live situation, and certainly not as good as some of the previous stories.
A couple of years ago my ex and her new best friend (I'll call her Sue) wanted to start up a little business venture together. Ex asked me if I'd lend them the money, and I said I'd lend them 1/3rd each and I'd come in on it 1/3rd myself, as a, erm, sleeping partner. For the first year or so I kept a back seat and let them get on with it. I only knew Sue through my ex, we only spoke when necessary about business matters, and she seemed pretty cold with me (fully expected given that she must have had all the hate and bile about me from my ex).
I could write a lot more detail, but the gist of it is that me and Sue ended up having a bit of a thing, including a threesome with my ex. Cue with them having a major fallout for some reason! Turns out that Sue is properly filthy and now has several blokes on the go (that I know of). We get on incredibly well, but she's enjoying her 'single' life. So despite leading me on several times, anything proper appears to be a non starter. She's either completely indecisive, or worryingly sociopathic. I ought to be keeping a safe distance away from her, but finding that very difficult.
Have now given up with Tinder, after a month on there and not a single match. I know I'm ugly, but I'm pretty sure most of the women on there are nowhere near as good as their filtered photo's suggest either. Still on POF, but my profile is pretty poor, so not expecting to get anywhere there. Had a bit of a reunion with a bunch of old school friends recently, and I was the only one not happily married. The more I think about it, the more I conclude that I don't actually want a relationship anyway - I've spent so much time being single that I'm too independent for it. I'd feel claustrophobic actually living with someone. Severely lacking in confidence and don't know how change that. Online dating experience has just reaffirmed that I'm a lost cause.
A couple of years ago my ex and her new best friend (I'll call her Sue) wanted to start up a little business venture together. Ex asked me if I'd lend them the money, and I said I'd lend them 1/3rd each and I'd come in on it 1/3rd myself, as a, erm, sleeping partner. For the first year or so I kept a back seat and let them get on with it. I only knew Sue through my ex, we only spoke when necessary about business matters, and she seemed pretty cold with me (fully expected given that she must have had all the hate and bile about me from my ex).
I could write a lot more detail, but the gist of it is that me and Sue ended up having a bit of a thing, including a threesome with my ex. Cue with them having a major fallout for some reason! Turns out that Sue is properly filthy and now has several blokes on the go (that I know of). We get on incredibly well, but she's enjoying her 'single' life. So despite leading me on several times, anything proper appears to be a non starter. She's either completely indecisive, or worryingly sociopathic. I ought to be keeping a safe distance away from her, but finding that very difficult.
Have now given up with Tinder, after a month on there and not a single match. I know I'm ugly, but I'm pretty sure most of the women on there are nowhere near as good as their filtered photo's suggest either. Still on POF, but my profile is pretty poor, so not expecting to get anywhere there. Had a bit of a reunion with a bunch of old school friends recently, and I was the only one not happily married. The more I think about it, the more I conclude that I don't actually want a relationship anyway - I've spent so much time being single that I'm too independent for it. I'd feel claustrophobic actually living with someone. Severely lacking in confidence and don't know how change that. Online dating experience has just reaffirmed that I'm a lost cause.
Why have I not discovered this thread already? Some corkers here.
My contribution is a POF, Got chatting to a lass (B) relatively close by, couple of weeks of chatting, couple of dates, realised that she really wasn't what I was looking for and the conversation steadily died a death.
On our first meeting, we'd had a brief chat that I'd all but forgotten about.
B:"Where abouts do you live again?"
Me: "South Shields"
B: "I used to live there, where abouts?"
Me:"Random Street"
B: "oh, I lived in Random Street, too".
Me: "Cool"
Random Street was a terrace of Tyneside flats (two front doors per house, if anyone is unfamiliar) and the door numbers went to well over 200, so I wasn't overly concerned about giving my location away too much. Besides, I was in the town centre.
Some weeks after last contact, my doorbell rings. I make my way down the stairs and open the door to her standing there.
"Hi! I was just passing and saw your car, I thought I'd knock and say hello!"
Alarm bells hammering away now. Car was parked on the other side of the road and not opposite my house, which means she either guessed very lucky or she'd knocked on doors. As I'm wrestling the keys out of the back of the door I'm muttering something like: "I'd love to invite you in, but I'm just heading out". Drove around for an hour with no phone, money, cigarettes, or fuel by the end.
A few weeks later, I'm working a night shift. Phone goes, number I don't recognise "I know you're in, your light is on, have you got a new car? Why won't you answer the door?!"
This repeated itself several times before I threatened to involve the police, at which point she fecked off to the place from whence she came.
I moved shortly after, after a couple of departures/arrivals using the rear entrance to my flat, and my very understanding neighbour's yard.
My contribution is a POF, Got chatting to a lass (B) relatively close by, couple of weeks of chatting, couple of dates, realised that she really wasn't what I was looking for and the conversation steadily died a death.
On our first meeting, we'd had a brief chat that I'd all but forgotten about.
B:"Where abouts do you live again?"
Me: "South Shields"
B: "I used to live there, where abouts?"
Me:"Random Street"
B: "oh, I lived in Random Street, too".
Me: "Cool"
Random Street was a terrace of Tyneside flats (two front doors per house, if anyone is unfamiliar) and the door numbers went to well over 200, so I wasn't overly concerned about giving my location away too much. Besides, I was in the town centre.
Some weeks after last contact, my doorbell rings. I make my way down the stairs and open the door to her standing there.
"Hi! I was just passing and saw your car, I thought I'd knock and say hello!"
Alarm bells hammering away now. Car was parked on the other side of the road and not opposite my house, which means she either guessed very lucky or she'd knocked on doors. As I'm wrestling the keys out of the back of the door I'm muttering something like: "I'd love to invite you in, but I'm just heading out". Drove around for an hour with no phone, money, cigarettes, or fuel by the end.
A few weeks later, I'm working a night shift. Phone goes, number I don't recognise "I know you're in, your light is on, have you got a new car? Why won't you answer the door?!"
This repeated itself several times before I threatened to involve the police, at which point she fecked off to the place from whence she came.
I moved shortly after, after a couple of departures/arrivals using the rear entrance to my flat, and my very understanding neighbour's yard.
Well I recently joined POF again last week and by Sunday was banging a 49yr old blonde great body and t**ts, it was great she was filthy and easy to get on with. I had just come out of a long term relationship so wasnt ready for anything serious and she seemed to get that she was also seeing someone at the time but wasnt happy she dropped into conversation after we met. I dropped her home and we exchanged a few messages and arranged to meet up again.
The next time we met I went to hers from the moment I opened the door I just got the feeling I really didn't want to be there, she was slurring her words I see a half drunk glass of red wine. At this time my senses are on overload the mental is strong in this one she proceeds to tell me how she just wants to be wined and dined taken out and go swinging like a proper couple ha I should of listened more when she told me a previous date went out to get a bottle of wine and never returned., she was pouring on the compliments too while her poor teenage son is in his bedroom, she even went on to tell me its lucky that she didn't know where I lived as she would stalk me by now i'm thinking I need to get out whilst I still have my liver but I was desperate for a p**ss.
I finish open the door after she's standing there grabs my hand and leads me to the bedroom and then off we go again after a while I make my excuses and try to leave she starts crying I calm her down. I just wasnt ready for a relationship least with someone already attached and so unstable but wow was she good in the sack.
The next time we met I went to hers from the moment I opened the door I just got the feeling I really didn't want to be there, she was slurring her words I see a half drunk glass of red wine. At this time my senses are on overload the mental is strong in this one she proceeds to tell me how she just wants to be wined and dined taken out and go swinging like a proper couple ha I should of listened more when she told me a previous date went out to get a bottle of wine and never returned., she was pouring on the compliments too while her poor teenage son is in his bedroom, she even went on to tell me its lucky that she didn't know where I lived as she would stalk me by now i'm thinking I need to get out whilst I still have my liver but I was desperate for a p**ss.
I finish open the door after she's standing there grabs my hand and leads me to the bedroom and then off we go again after a while I make my excuses and try to leave she starts crying I calm her down. I just wasnt ready for a relationship least with someone already attached and so unstable but wow was she good in the sack.
mjb1 said:
Have now given up with Tinder, after a month on there...... I'm pretty sure most of the women on there are nowhere near as good as their filtered photo's suggest either.
Fell victim to this myself this week. She had plenty pics and I thought these all can't be taken favourably, there's only so many flattering angles etc, there was even a full body shot which was acceptable. Well I was done up like a kipper. About 3 dress sizes bigger than expected! Felt like David Brent on that clip I posted a few pages back, oh the irony! Question for the Tinder pros on here... in this situation, have you ever just said to her something along the lines of f
k this, and legged it back to your car within 10 seconds of clapping eyes on her? Or told her to her face she's havin a larrrff? I can't see what the girls expect to gain from this. Shirley there's little value in lulling a guy into a false sense of security? Like if we said we were about a foot taller than we actually are, no point in lying when you get called out on the initial eyeball. Anyway, like the true gent I am, I stuck the date out for a while then made my excuses and left. The craic was alright, as expected, just a shame she bore zero resemblance to what she purported to be. Edited by Toyoda on Friday 26th October 09:01
Toyoda said:
Fell victim to this myself this week. She had plenty pics and I thought these all can't be taken favourably, there's only so many flattering angles etc, there was even a full body shot which was acceptable. Well I was done up like a kipper. About 3 dress sizes bigger than expected! Felt like David Brent on that clip I posted a few pages back, oh the irony!
Question for the Tinder pros on here... in this situation, have you ever just said to her something along the lines of fk this, and legged it back to your car within 10 seconds of clapping eyes on her? Or told her to her face she's havin a larrrff? I can't see what the girls expect to gain from this. Shirley there's little value in lulling a guy into a false sense of security? Like if we said we were about a foot taller than we actually are, no point in lying when you get called out on the initial eyeball. Anyway, like the true gent I am, I stuck the date out for a while then made my excuses and left. The craic was alright, as expected, just a shame she bore zero resemblance to what she purported to be.
First girl I met up with on Tinder Myspace angled me. I was reasonably recently out of a long term relationship, so my already low expectations plumbed new depths. Nevertheless, I did end up taking her back to mine where she turned out to be an absolute filthbag, so ideal for what I needed at that point. Question for the Tinder pros on here... in this situation, have you ever just said to her something along the lines of f
k this, and legged it back to your car within 10 seconds of clapping eyes on her? Or told her to her face she's havin a larrrff? I can't see what the girls expect to gain from this. Shirley there's little value in lulling a guy into a false sense of security? Like if we said we were about a foot taller than we actually are, no point in lying when you get called out on the initial eyeball. Anyway, like the true gent I am, I stuck the date out for a while then made my excuses and left. The craic was alright, as expected, just a shame she bore zero resemblance to what she purported to be. Edited by Toyoda on Friday 26th October 09:01
It did teach me to apply a bit more scrutiny to later candidates.
IrateNinja said:
First girl I met up with on Tinder Myspace angled me. I was reasonably recently out of a long term relationship, so my already low expectations plumbed new depths. Nevertheless, I did end up taking her back to mine where she turned out to be an absolute filthbag, so ideal for what I needed at that point.
It did teach me to apply a bit more scrutiny to later candidates.
Sounds close to my situation, plumbing new depths thinking wtf's going on here! Thank fook I was a good half hour from home in a place I never normally frequent (nearer her home than mine). I did briefly try to make the best of the bad situation and float the idea of a casual shag but I was met with something along the lines of not on a first date, wasn't keen on having someone she'd known for half an hour in her family home (her kids were out, but I suppose some people consider their home a bit sacred). I reckon a second date would have yielded a better result but I'll not be pursuing that. You got lucky to find a filthbag, an ugly one but a filthbag all the same! It did teach me to apply a bit more scrutiny to later candidates.
jonamv8 said:
wow i've just caught up on the last few pages of this thread, some corkers in here. i've been howling away at my office PC!
When I've been single I've had periods of having multiple birds on the go at the same time, bloody hell it is hard work.
About 7-9 years ago during my fruitful ploughing of the Pof/Match/Wherever else fields I had 6 or 7 on the go - from some initial contact via chat or text/phone through to dated once or twice a week with 3 or 4 different wimmin. 6 or 7 was the most at one time & that was for about a month or so with some contact dropping off or a new contact appearing & the conversations progressing. While it was fun from a single bloke & all that pretty much available minge it was a fooking nightmare keeping track of who was who, living where, did she have kids, a cat, a dog, names of same etc - just in case during that romantic late night phone call you drop a bWhen I've been single I've had periods of having multiple birds on the go at the same time, bloody hell it is hard work.
k & call her the wrong name especially if she was a high rating fittie with potential. I ended up using what we used to call in the army, int cards. Our Int cells over in NI had the major players on a card index system stuck on the walls of the cell - you'd keep yourself up to speed on who was who on your patch & it always inc personal stuff that you'd let slip if you bumped into the turds while on a patrol & you'd P check em.
Worked a treat for keeping the women organised & i barely put a foot wrong.
JustALooseScrew said:
I often wonder how she's doing now.
Awwww crapWhy did I have to go looking.....
JustALooseScrew said:
JustALooseScrew said:
I often wonder how she's doing now.
Awwww crapWhy did I have to go looking.....
Brilliant. First one that’s made me laugh. Apart from the odd line ‘I really didn’t want to but since I was there’
What goes around comes around...
I’d share some stories but I’d probably be barred.
Toyoda said:
mjb1 said:
Have now given up with Tinder, after a month on there...... I'm pretty sure most of the women on there are nowhere near as good as their filtered photo's suggest either.
Fell victim to this myself this week. She had plenty pics and I thought these all can't be taken favourably, there's only so many flattering angles etc, there was even a full body shot which was acceptable. Well I was done up like a kipper. About 3 dress sizes bigger than expected! Felt like David Brent on that clip I posted a few pages back, oh the irony! Question for the Tinder pros on here... in this situation, have you ever just said to her something along the lines of f
k this, and legged it back to your car within 10 seconds of clapping eyes on her? Or told her to her face she's havin a larrrff? I can't see what the girls expect to gain from this. Shirley there's little value in lulling a guy into a false sense of security? Like if we said we were about a foot taller than we actually are, no point in lying when you get called out on the initial eyeball. Anyway, like the true gent I am, I stuck the date out for a while then made my excuses and left. The craic was alright, as expected, just a shame she bore zero resemblance to what she purported to be. Edited by Toyoda on Friday 26th October 09:01
I even read one POF profile the other day where she said not to message her to comment/compliment her on her looks from her photos, her personality was more important etc (she wasn't particularly bad looking either). I'm pretty sure online dating is 90% about the photo's, for both men and women.
Women have it pretty sorted with being photogenic - they can do their hair, make up differently, even different clothes and shoes can make them look totally different (not necessarily better or worse, just different in every photo). Are blokes expected to use the filters etc to improve their photos? Mine are very much what you see is what you get, I'm certainly not going to disappoint anyone upon meeting!
xjay1337 said:
TwistingMyMelon said:
The joys of online dating
The weirdest story I ever had was back in my early 20s, when online dating was just coming out, an 18 year old lady started messaging me regarding meeting up , only issue was there was no photo.....her name was Sarah...alarm bells...
..On the plus side, she was messaging me begging me to be her "first". More alarm bells were ringing, but after a dry patch I gave her a call to ascertain that it was at least a female I was texting, after surprisingly hearing a female voice, we agreed to meet later in the week @ Putney station flower stall.
I got there early and got a good stalking viewpoint, the plan being that if I didnt like the look of her I could do a runner, unfortunately she knew what I looked like and had done the same and got there even earlier...As soon as I peeked round the postbox I felt a tap on my shoulder and she said hello....
On the plus side she was female and the correct age (if not older - which is a good thing) on the minus, she was a size 20 + and then some. I like the curvier lady, but blimey she was very big.
This is when it gets odd....she grabbed my hand and went "come on my dad is waiting round the corner" (PANNIC) ..she then led me to a Fiat Punto waiting on double yellows and introduced me to a man in his late 60s , who was her father, I then had to get into the back of a tiny punto and was driven down a few miles of back streets to their house. It was a three door so I couldn't even do a runner at the lights (MORE PANIC)
We then turn up at a nice looking suburban house, where Sarah lived with her retired pensioner parents, I get led up the garden path where she tells me "my mum has dinner ready for us". I then get into the house and sure enough in their small kitchen there is dinner ready, comprising of fish fingers (the irony) , chips and peas. The parents then join us for our first date meal and the four of us tuck in round a small square table eating a dinner fit for a 10 year old child. The parents then speak to me like they have been waiting all their life to meet me wanting to know all about me. To their credit they were lovely people, but it was bloody odd , however I took it as a challenge and parleyed up my life story and was as polite as one could be. I didnt even know their daughters surname and knew at best 2 things about their daughter, but I blagged it like a good'un
Following the fish fingers, we had some rice pudding , before Sarah and I parted upstairs to her room...Where she slammed the door shut , ripped off her clothes and demanded I take her cherry...by now it was like a weird dream, so just cracked on and did it. After a few hours of "fun" the poor girl could walk even less than she could before. I then told her "I needed to get the last tube home" (it was 7pm...) and went to leave, she said "of course Ive had what I wanted....my dad will will take you back to the station" So downstairs I trot to find her parents eagerly awaiting our arrival, where her mother made me a sandwich and back in the Punto to Putney tube station we go, where I chatted to her dad about the state of UK cricket., something I knew bugger all about but blagged it.
I stayed in touch with Sarah and every once in a while I'd pop over hers on a Friday night and repeat the above, word for word, except in addition to fish fingers occasionally Id have sausages or polonaise waiting for me on the table, as soon as dinner was eaten, we would retreat upstairs where she would just rip our clothes off and demand 3+ hours of debauchery before a lift back to the tube station from her father and the customary chat about cricket.
A few years passed following our last meeting and she emailed me to tell me that she had now got married (confirmed by FB) but was still up for "meeting up" but I had nightmares of turning up at her new house only for her husband to be waiting there to cook me dinner .
The weirdest story I ever had was back in my early 20s, when online dating was just coming out, an 18 year old lady started messaging me regarding meeting up , only issue was there was no photo.....her name was Sarah...alarm bells...
..On the plus side, she was messaging me begging me to be her "first". More alarm bells were ringing, but after a dry patch I gave her a call to ascertain that it was at least a female I was texting, after surprisingly hearing a female voice, we agreed to meet later in the week @ Putney station flower stall.
I got there early and got a good stalking viewpoint, the plan being that if I didnt like the look of her I could do a runner, unfortunately she knew what I looked like and had done the same and got there even earlier...As soon as I peeked round the postbox I felt a tap on my shoulder and she said hello....
On the plus side she was female and the correct age (if not older - which is a good thing) on the minus, she was a size 20 + and then some. I like the curvier lady, but blimey she was very big.
This is when it gets odd....she grabbed my hand and went "come on my dad is waiting round the corner" (PANNIC) ..she then led me to a Fiat Punto waiting on double yellows and introduced me to a man in his late 60s , who was her father, I then had to get into the back of a tiny punto and was driven down a few miles of back streets to their house. It was a three door so I couldn't even do a runner at the lights (MORE PANIC)
We then turn up at a nice looking suburban house, where Sarah lived with her retired pensioner parents, I get led up the garden path where she tells me "my mum has dinner ready for us". I then get into the house and sure enough in their small kitchen there is dinner ready, comprising of fish fingers (the irony) , chips and peas. The parents then join us for our first date meal and the four of us tuck in round a small square table eating a dinner fit for a 10 year old child. The parents then speak to me like they have been waiting all their life to meet me wanting to know all about me. To their credit they were lovely people, but it was bloody odd , however I took it as a challenge and parleyed up my life story and was as polite as one could be. I didnt even know their daughters surname and knew at best 2 things about their daughter, but I blagged it like a good'un
Following the fish fingers, we had some rice pudding , before Sarah and I parted upstairs to her room...Where she slammed the door shut , ripped off her clothes and demanded I take her cherry...by now it was like a weird dream, so just cracked on and did it. After a few hours of "fun" the poor girl could walk even less than she could before. I then told her "I needed to get the last tube home" (it was 7pm...) and went to leave, she said "of course Ive had what I wanted....my dad will will take you back to the station" So downstairs I trot to find her parents eagerly awaiting our arrival, where her mother made me a sandwich and back in the Punto to Putney tube station we go, where I chatted to her dad about the state of UK cricket., something I knew bugger all about but blagged it.
I stayed in touch with Sarah and every once in a while I'd pop over hers on a Friday night and repeat the above, word for word, except in addition to fish fingers occasionally Id have sausages or polonaise waiting for me on the table, as soon as dinner was eaten, we would retreat upstairs where she would just rip our clothes off and demand 3+ hours of debauchery before a lift back to the tube station from her father and the customary chat about cricket.
A few years passed following our last meeting and she emailed me to tell me that she had now got married (confirmed by FB) but was still up for "meeting up" but I had nightmares of turning up at her new house only for her husband to be waiting there to cook me dinner .
Had a cake and got to eat a sandwich too. The dream.
ked up st happens to other people too. I thought I was the only one.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff