Match.com (Vol. 7)
Discussion
jdw100 said:
Seriously though for them: guy won’t stop talking about his job, I’m 6’ tall..nope actually 5’2” or something. Loads of exaggerations or outright lies, photos that are five years or more old. Diving/hang-gliding/racing photos: done it once.
If you meet in person: well you both know what you look like.
For me it’s just the time element. I know people spend hours on this stuff. Its like people who watch hours of TV a week.
I remain unconvinced but I guess it’s whatever works for you!
You are overthinking it. If you meet in person: well you both know what you look like.
For me it’s just the time element. I know people spend hours on this stuff. Its like people who watch hours of TV a week.
I remain unconvinced but I guess it’s whatever works for you!
“If you meet in person”. All I would do on an app is looks at a picture, and if I liked it, swipe and hopefully match. A few texts were exchanged to see that she could spell and had half decent chat. Then I’d arrange a coffee or bar drink. So we’ve reached your “meet in person”.
You could argue that’s your method doesn’t establish whether they can text without daft txt speak and have any banter that carries in words. Both of these are relatively important to me.
And as for the time aspect, I’d argue the opposite. You expend far more time chasing skirt that turns out not to be single or not interested in a relationship in person than you do sitting on an app for 5 minutes and swiping.
Shnozz said:
jdw100 said:
Seriously though for them: guy won’t stop talking about his job, I’m 6’ tall..nope actually 5’2” or something. Loads of exaggerations or outright lies, photos that are five years or more old. Diving/hang-gliding/racing photos: done it once.
If you meet in person: well you both know what you look like.
For me it’s just the time element. I know people spend hours on this stuff. Its like people who watch hours of TV a week.
I remain unconvinced but I guess it’s whatever works for you!
You are overthinking it. If you meet in person: well you both know what you look like.
For me it’s just the time element. I know people spend hours on this stuff. Its like people who watch hours of TV a week.
I remain unconvinced but I guess it’s whatever works for you!
“If you meet in person”. All I would do on an app is looks at a picture, and if I liked it, swipe and hopefully match. A few texts were exchanged to see that she could spell and had half decent chat. Then I’d arrange a coffee or bar drink. So we’ve reached your “meet in person”.
You could argue that’s your method doesn’t establish whether they can text without daft txt speak and have any banter that carries in words. Both of these are relatively important to me.
And as for the time aspect, I’d argue the opposite. You expend far more time chasing skirt that turns out not to be single or not interested in a relationship in person than you do sitting on an app for 5 minutes and swiping.
"No need to touch a dating site. Don’t be overweight. Dress well, but not too showy. Have some decent stories. Have a non-threatening way of starting a discussion. Natural. The way you would like to be approached by a stranger."
Sounds like it's been cribbed off a 'dating coach' cringe website. I can manage all that criteria, but I work from home or on location. If I were single, where would you suggest I meet these women to start not threatening chats with? (There's no volcanos near me, but there is a medium sized hill, would that do?)
trackdemon said:
This in spades. Then there's tosh like this:
"No need to touch a dating site. Don’t be overweight. Dress well, but not too showy. Have some decent stories. Have a non-threatening way of starting a discussion. Natural. The way you would like to be approached by a stranger."
Sounds like it's been cribbed off a 'dating coach' cringe website. I can manage all that criteria, but I work from home or on location. If I were single, where would you suggest I meet these women to start not threatening chats with? (There's no volcanos near me, but there is a medium sized hill, would that do?)
Well, just some ideas…"No need to touch a dating site. Don’t be overweight. Dress well, but not too showy. Have some decent stories. Have a non-threatening way of starting a discussion. Natural. The way you would like to be approached by a stranger."
Sounds like it's been cribbed off a 'dating coach' cringe website. I can manage all that criteria, but I work from home or on location. If I were single, where would you suggest I meet these women to start not threatening chats with? (There's no volcanos near me, but there is a medium sized hill, would that do?)
Gym
Join local volunteering groups
Hobbies
Local coffee shop
Go on holidays
I think it’s just a case of being ‘out and about’ rather than scouting for girls. Personally this just worked better for me than OLD.
But if your time is being spent just either at work or at home, then you’re unlikely to meet potential dates.
So OLD is a valid option.
Edited by The spinner of plates on Saturday 28th May 10:46
The spinner of plates said:
ut if your time is being spent just either at work or at home, then you’re unlikely to meet potential dates.
So OLD is a valid option.
Again, why it should be the preserve of a subsection is beyond me. So OLD is a valid option.
And as for the gym suggestion, many of my female mates continually moan about being hit on at the gym. And that is just the single ones, let alone those in relationships wondering why some weirdo is trying to chat them up as they are sweating heavily and no make up on whilst trying to fit in a work out in a busy day.
trackdemon said:
This in spades. Then there's tosh like this:
"No need to touch a dating site. Don’t be overweight. Dress well, but not too showy. Have some decent stories. Have a non-threatening way of starting a discussion. Natural. The way you would like to be approached by a stranger."
Sounds like it's been cribbed off a 'dating coach' cringe website. I can manage all that criteria, but I work from home or on location. If I were single, where would you suggest I meet these women to start not threatening chats with? (There's no volcanos near me, but there is a medium sized hill, would that do?)
I seem to recall that jdw100 is a Westerner who resides in the Far East. Lets be honest, but add a pulse and you'd clean up."No need to touch a dating site. Don’t be overweight. Dress well, but not too showy. Have some decent stories. Have a non-threatening way of starting a discussion. Natural. The way you would like to be approached by a stranger."
Sounds like it's been cribbed off a 'dating coach' cringe website. I can manage all that criteria, but I work from home or on location. If I were single, where would you suggest I meet these women to start not threatening chats with? (There's no volcanos near me, but there is a medium sized hill, would that do?)
Shnozz said:
The spinner of plates said:
ut if your time is being spent just either at work or at home, then you’re unlikely to meet potential dates.
So OLD is a valid option.
Again, why it should be the preserve of a subsection is beyond me. So OLD is a valid option.
And as for the gym suggestion, many of my female mates continually moan about being hit on at the gym. And that is just the single ones, let alone those in relationships wondering why some weirdo is trying to chat them up as they are sweating heavily and no make up on whilst trying to fit in a work out in a busy day.
If you do meet people but still like OLD, then errr.... well obviously fill yer boots.
Thanks for the gym insight. I dated someone for just under a year I met at my gym. We seemed to have a similar early morning schedule, started saying hi each time, saw each other at the coffee bar afterwards one time... chatted, swapped numbers and started dating. I know I know, unbelievable...
Again I was just giving example of where people meet IRL in response to someone asking about the alternatives to OLD. Apologies I didn't capture every human interaction ever in my response...
I think anyone with an once of EQ can work out if their interactions are being received as positive or not. Mind you... maybe not
If OLD is working, enjoy and have fun.
If it's not, think about a different way maybe. Or not. Up to you.
Shnozz said:
trackdemon said:
This in spades. Then there's tosh like this:
"No need to touch a dating site. Don’t be overweight. Dress well, but not too showy. Have some decent stories. Have a non-threatening way of starting a discussion. Natural. The way you would like to be approached by a stranger."
Sounds like it's been cribbed off a 'dating coach' cringe website. I can manage all that criteria, but I work from home or on location. If I were single, where would you suggest I meet these women to start not threatening chats with? (There's no volcanos near me, but there is a medium sized hill, would that do?)
I seem to recall that jdw100 is a Westerner who resides in the Far East. Lets be honest, but add a pulse and you'd clean up."No need to touch a dating site. Don’t be overweight. Dress well, but not too showy. Have some decent stories. Have a non-threatening way of starting a discussion. Natural. The way you would like to be approached by a stranger."
Sounds like it's been cribbed off a 'dating coach' cringe website. I can manage all that criteria, but I work from home or on location. If I were single, where would you suggest I meet these women to start not threatening chats with? (There's no volcanos near me, but there is a medium sized hill, would that do?)
I moved out here 6 years sago, after meeting my now wife during a three month sabbatical from work.
She speaks three languages, qualified as a dive instructor, marketing and finance qualifications, was operations director for a boutique hotel when i met her, just remodelling our house; in fact its her house that we live in.
Only ‘Far East’ person I have ever dated.
How’s your French and Japanese?
Interesting story to tell our daughter when she asks how we met.
Not how did mummy and daddy meet - we swept right on an iPhone.
jdw100 said:
Wow that’s a low blow. What an implication.
I moved out here 6 years sago, after meeting my now wife during a three month sabbatical from work.
She speaks three languages, qualified as a dive instructor, marketing and finance qualifications, was operations director for a boutique hotel when i met her, just remodelling our house; in fact its her house that we live in.
Only ‘Far East’ person I have ever dated.
How’s your French and Japanese?
Interesting story to tell our daughter when she asks how we met.
Not how did mummy and daddy meet - we swept right on an iPhone.
The western perception of Far Eastern ladies is atrocious. Some of the very brightest people I’ve met are Thai (not sure where you are) - who speak English more fluently than a lot of my UK friends, have brains as quick as a calculator and to top it off are family driven lovely people. Sometimes I despair. I moved out here 6 years sago, after meeting my now wife during a three month sabbatical from work.
She speaks three languages, qualified as a dive instructor, marketing and finance qualifications, was operations director for a boutique hotel when i met her, just remodelling our house; in fact its her house that we live in.
Only ‘Far East’ person I have ever dated.
How’s your French and Japanese?
Interesting story to tell our daughter when she asks how we met.
Not how did mummy and daddy meet - we swept right on an iPhone.
Eta - glad it’s going well though
jdw100 said:
I think good points have been made on both sides of the discussion.
Re above though - I split with my partner of 14 years. Have been shaving my head since 40.
No need to touch a dating site.
Don’t be overweight. Dress well, but not too showy. Have some decent stories.
Have a non-threatening way of starting a discussion. Natural. The way you would like to be approached by a stranger.
Thanks Romeo, but I always did fine IRL too. Especially when I was in an office. But times and situations change.Re above though - I split with my partner of 14 years. Have been shaving my head since 40.
No need to touch a dating site.
Don’t be overweight. Dress well, but not too showy. Have some decent stories.
Have a non-threatening way of starting a discussion. Natural. The way you would like to be approached by a stranger.
Its not about NEED, it's about WANT. Want to have the choice of hundreds? That you know are (mostly) single? Not IRL. Not right now. And definitely not for free.
OLD is basically having a supermarket full of pussy to choose from, all available, which you can select based on your wants. Real life is like the same supermarket but in early lockdown, bare shelves, queues, and you can't get half the things on your list because someone else got there first.
I've always concentrated mostly on my Nat King so it probably suits that better, but still.
The spinner of plates said:
Well, just some ideas…
Gym
You can't be serious, I can barely think of a place where women would be less in the mood to meet a guy Gym
And I've had it mention by a few women friends who get hit on at the gym, they all say it's creepy. I don't gym anyway as I run, cycle, play footballThe spinner of plates said:
Join local volunteering groups
I'm not really looking to meet a retiree thanks The spinner of plates said:
Hobbies
Cars, football, photography (which is also work), cooking (obviously done at home) - where are the women when I do these things dammit! The spinner of plates said:
Local coffee shop
Hang out in local Costa waiting to pounce on the next woman that walks in alone? Sounds a bit creepy, I'll passThe spinner of plates said:
Go on holidays
Book a holiday on the off chance I might meet a girl (a) I like (b) who likes me (c) we're compatible (d) doesn't live hundreds of miles away (e) etc. etc. Or I could y'know, use an app on my phone which finds people I like the look of near me instead of spending christ knows how much on holidays The spinner of plates said:
I think it’s just a case of being ‘out and about’ rather than scouting for girls. Personally this just worked better for me than OLD.
But if your time is being spent just either at work or at home, then you’re unlikely to meet potential dates.
So OLD is a valid option.
Depends what your 'out and about' is..... Hence why OLD works for so manyBut if your time is being spent just either at work or at home, then you’re unlikely to meet potential dates.
So OLD is a valid option.
trackdemon said:
The spinner of plates said:
Well, just some ideas…
Gym
You can't be serious, I can barely think of a place where women would be less in the mood to meet a guy Gym
And I've had it mention by a few women friends who get hit on at the gym, they all say it's creepy. I don't gym anyway as I run, cycle, play footballThe spinner of plates said:
Join local volunteering groups
I'm not really looking to meet a retiree thanks The spinner of plates said:
Hobbies
Cars, football, photography (which is also work), cooking (obviously done at home) - where are the women when I do these things dammit! The spinner of plates said:
Local coffee shop
Hang out in local Costa waiting to pounce on the next woman that walks in alone? Sounds a bit creepy, I'll passThe spinner of plates said:
Go on holidays
Book a holiday on the off chance I might meet a girl (a) I like (b) who likes me (c) we're compatible (d) doesn't live hundreds of miles away (e) etc. etc. Or I could y'know, use an app on my phone which finds people I like the look of near me instead of spending christ knows how much on holidays The spinner of plates said:
I think it’s just a case of being ‘out and about’ rather than scouting for girls. Personally this just worked better for me than OLD.
But if your time is being spent just either at work or at home, then you’re unlikely to meet potential dates.
So OLD is a valid option.
Depends what your 'out and about' is..... Hence why OLD works for so manyBut if your time is being spent just either at work or at home, then you’re unlikely to meet potential dates.
So OLD is a valid option.
I threw some IRL alternative ways to meet people / expand your network, but they’re obviously not for you. Fair enough.
You’ve cut apart a couple of posts you consider tosh and rofl’d all over the place, so I guess you’re happy with how it’s all going.
I don’t think there’s a right / wrong way to meet somebody btw.
Just ideas, options and pros & cons.
And a dose of luck.
The spinner of plates said:
If OLD is working out, then great.
I threw some IRL alternative ways to meet people / expand your network, but they’re obviously not for you. Fair enough.
You’ve cut apart a couple of posts you consider tosh and rofl’d all over the place, so I guess you’re happy with how it’s all going.
I don’t think there’s a right / wrong way to meet somebody btw.
Just ideas, options and pros & cons.
And a dose of luck.
You've obviously missed the posts where I mentioned I've been with my g/f for over 5 years.... who I met through OLD, would never have been likely to otherwise, and even if I had it would have been a complete lottery as to whether or not we were both in the right 'zone' to meet someone....I threw some IRL alternative ways to meet people / expand your network, but they’re obviously not for you. Fair enough.
You’ve cut apart a couple of posts you consider tosh and rofl’d all over the place, so I guess you’re happy with how it’s all going.
I don’t think there’s a right / wrong way to meet somebody btw.
Just ideas, options and pros & cons.
And a dose of luck.
I'll concede I did pick apart your post, just my opinion, I thought the suggestions of where you could meet someone were, erm, rubbish
sorryPre OLD when I was single by a huge margin the place I met most women was either at work (when I had an office job) or when out socializing. Obviously as a forty something living with partner I do the latter a lot less and most of my friends are married/in relationships/dotted around the country/world which naturally narrows the likelyhood of meeting someone whilst out and about nowadays. If I find myself single again I'll be straight back on OLD as that's the way the world has gone and I certainly wouldn't make a specific point of going out for coffees/taking up new hobbies etc just to try and meet someone. If I did whilst out and about anyway, great, but it'd most likely be on a night out in a bar, and meeting someone that was more than a ONS
V8covin said:
Had a date last night and she recommended ceroc dancing lessons as good place to meet the opposite sex.....she didn't see the irony that she hadn't met anyone and was doing OLD 
Signing up to something you're not interested in just to meet chicks.... well if you do meet one you'll get found out soon enough surely? V8covin said:
trackdemon said:
Signing up to something you're not interested in just to meet chicks.... well if you do meet one you'll get found out soon enough surely?
Are you suggesting I have 2 left feet 
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