Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 10ish)

[MartG]

[EarlOfHazard]

MartG said:

[MartG]

[anonymous-user]

EarlOfHazard said:

MartG said:

That's jibba jabba. Everybody knows B.A. ain't gettin' in no airplane, fool!

[Jonboy_t]

Schmed said:

EarlOfHazard said:

MartG said:

That's jibba jabba. Everybody knows B.A. ain't gettin' in no airplane, fool!

I used to have a BA Baracus sat nav. Was pretty good but wouldn’t go near an airport.

Replaced that with a Bonnie Tyler one, but went to France once and couldn’t find my way back. Got told it was faulty so did a software upgrade but it then kept telling me to turn around.

[Pixelpeep Z4]

Jonboy_t said:

Schmed said:

EarlOfHazard said:

MartG said:

That's jibba jabba. Everybody knows B.A. ain't gettin' in no airplane, fool!

I used to have a BA Baracus sat nav. Was pretty good but wouldn’t go near an airport.

Replaced that with a Bonnie Tyler one, but went to France once and couldn’t find my way back. Got told it was faulty so did a software upgrade but it then kept telling me to turn around.

Don't get the u2 one... the streets have no names!

[nonsequitur]

Jonboy_t said:

I used to have a BA Baracus sat nav. Was pretty good but wouldn’t go near an airport.

Replaced that with a Bonnie Tyler one, but went to France once and couldn’t find my way back. Got told it was faulty so did a software upgrade but it then kept telling me to turn around.

My Frank Sinatra Sat-Nav kept telling me something stupid like fly me to the moon. But no. I did it my way.

[Vipers]

Little Johhny's neighbour had a baby. Sadly he was born without ears.

Johnny and his mum went to visit the baby. Johnny was warned not to mention the baby's ears or he'd be spanked.

Johnny looked in the cot and siad "What a ovely baby, lovely, hands and skin, how's his eyesight?"

The baby's mother said it was perfect.

Johnny replied, "That's good, because he'd be fked if he needed glasses!"

[Mr Cerbera]

I had to visit the Doc's the other day for a digestive problem.
On the way out, my wife asked me to ask him for some help for my E.D. problem.

When I returned, I threw her the packet of Diet Pills he'd recommended to me for her.

Anyone know of a small Studio with a Garage that's available ?

[MartG]

[MartG]

[mybrainhurts]

MartG said:

Ohhhhh.....YES...

[MartG]

[StevieBee]

nonsequitur said:

Jonboy_t said:

I used to have a BA Baracus sat nav. Was pretty good but wouldn’t go near an airport.

Replaced that with a Bonnie Tyler one, but went to France once and couldn’t find my way back. Got told it was faulty so did a software upgrade but it then kept telling me to turn around.

My Frank Sinatra Sat-Nav kept telling me something stupid like fly me to the moon. But no. I did it my way.

Think yourself lucky. I had a Supertramp SatNav and all it did was keep taking me The Long Way Home

[Kenty]

Something a little bit different for this thread, caption this!

[SCEtoAUX]

Kenty said:

Something a little bit different for this thread, caption this!

Two more blind girls fall victim to the "Russell Brand wants to Shag You" scam.

[Nimby]

Kenty said:

Something a little bit different for this thread, caption this!

"Well according to Pythagoras our heads are two metres apart".

[paua]

StevieBee said:

nonsequitur said:

Jonboy_t said:

I used to have a BA Baracus sat nav. Was pretty good but wouldn’t go near an airport.

Replaced that with a Bonnie Tyler one, but went to France once and couldn’t find my way back. Got told it was faulty so did a software upgrade but it then kept telling me to turn around.

My Frank Sinatra Sat-Nav kept telling me something stupid like fly me to the moon. But no. I did it my way.

Think yourself lucky. I had a Supertramp SatNav and all it did was keep taking me The Long Way Home

Sponsored by Subaru

[nonsequitur]

Kenty said:

Something a little bit different for this thread, caption this!

Cockapoo finds cosy resting place sensation.

[paua]

Kenty said:

Something a little bit different for this thread, caption this!

Tha's not 'ow you do doggy style.