Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 10ish)
Discussion
A guy walks into a bar, sits down orders a pint.
Barman says - you look a bit down if you don't mind me saying.
Guy says, yeah, I just had my latest song turned down by the music company, I had really put my heart into it, but they just binned it!
Barman says, well look, why don't you play the song on the piano over there and we'll all tell you what we think.
Guy looks up, tear in his eye, says thanks guys, and plods off to the piano.
He then plays the most heart-wrenching tune ever, the people in the bar are in tears, and applaud him when he finishes.
Bloke goes back to the bar, the barman says , that's the most amazing song I have ever heard!!
I can't believe they rejected it!!
What's the song called?
Guy says, the song is called
"I love you so bloody much it makes me want to puke"
The barman says...
"Well there's your problem - the title is too long!"
Barman says - you look a bit down if you don't mind me saying.
Guy says, yeah, I just had my latest song turned down by the music company, I had really put my heart into it, but they just binned it!
Barman says, well look, why don't you play the song on the piano over there and we'll all tell you what we think.
Guy looks up, tear in his eye, says thanks guys, and plods off to the piano.
He then plays the most heart-wrenching tune ever, the people in the bar are in tears, and applaud him when he finishes.
Bloke goes back to the bar, the barman says , that's the most amazing song I have ever heard!!
I can't believe they rejected it!!
What's the song called?
Guy says, the song is called
"I love you so bloody much it makes me want to puke"
The barman says...
"Well there's your problem - the title is too long!"
A wee guy walks into a rough Glasgow bar and orders a pint. One of the regulars starts picking on him and eventually punches him in the face and says "see that, pal, that was a '53 Marciano Special". The wee guy staggers out much the worse for wear. Later the regular is leaving when he's clobbered from behind. Lying dazed on the ground he hears a voice saying "see THAT, pal, that was a '53 Morris Starting-handle".
Hugo a Gogo said:
Ponpiman said:
So I watched Fox News the other day and it was so disappointing. No stories about foxes at all.
So I tried BBC. The disappointment continued
That joke could have 2 very different meaningsSo I tried BBC. The disappointment continued
Edited by Ponpiman on Sunday 13th June 14:51
This guy in a bar notices a woman, always alone, who comes in on a fairly regular basis.
After the second week, he made his move.
"No thank you," she said politely."
"This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I'm keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love."
"That must be rather difficult," the man replied.
"Oh, I don't mind too much," she said.
"But, it has my husband pretty upset."
After the second week, he made his move.
"No thank you," she said politely."
"This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I'm keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love."
"That must be rather difficult," the man replied.
"Oh, I don't mind too much," she said.
"But, it has my husband pretty upset."
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