Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 10ish)

[CharlesdeGaulle]

Anyone got any jokes?

[Monkeylegend]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

Anyone got any jokes?

Thread drift alert.

[Laurel Green]

[anonymous-user]

Laurel Green said:

I felt guilty chortling at that.

It didn’t last long though.

[CharlesdeGaulle]

V6 Pushfit said:

Laurel Green said:

I felt guilty chortling at that.

It didn’t last long though.

It was a welcome break, and significantly more snigger-some than the st puns.

[Monkeylegend]

I just found out I am colour blind. The news came completely out of the green.

[EarlOfHazard]

[SCEtoAUX]

Laurel Green said:

Why would the place be crawling with fanny?

If it were to raise money for starving children the place wouldn't be full of starving children.

[nonsequitur]

Monkeylegend said:

CharlesdeGaulle said:

Anyone got any jokes?

Thread drift alert.

[CrunkleFloop]

“Humpback whale gulps and spits out Cape Cod lobsterman”

That’s odd, I thought the fat ones always swallowed seamen.

[paua]

CrunkleFloop said:

“Humpback whale gulps and spits out Cape Cod lobsterman”

That’s odd, I thought the fat ones always swallowed seamen.

He'll, henceforth, be known as Jonah.

[john2443]

Having been cancelled last year, the world "Flicking a ruler on the edge of a desk" championship is being held in the Dordogne.

[MartG]

[kowalski655]

SCEtoAUX said:

......

If it were to raise money for starving children the place wouldn't be full of starving children.

Why not? It will save on costs of waiting staff

[Vipers]

Sex before marriage is considered a sin.

Second after marriage is a miracle.

[Blatter]

I had a leaflet put through my door the other day with a headline in giant letters; "Are you an alcoholic?"

Reading on, it advised; "If you are an alcoholic, ring this number NOW."

So I rang the number. It was my local off licence.

[Road2Ruin]

Vipers said:

Sex before marriage is considered a sin.

Second after marriage is a miracle.

Doh, vipers, could have been so good....

[Pixelpeep Z4]

Liam Neeson stars in a film about the wrong person being kidnapped, Mis-taken.

[Pixelpeep Z4]

I told the wife i was thinking of going into business selling meat but couldn't think of the correct term.

Butcher?, she asked.

So i put my hands on my hips, deepened my voice and said " i was thinking of going into business selling meat but i can't think of the correct term."

[Vipers]

Road2Ruin said:

Vipers said:

Sex before marriage is considered a sin.

Second after marriage is a miracle.

Doh, vipers, could have been so good....

Auto correct drives me lazy.......

Six before marriage is considered a sin.

Sex after marriage is a miracle: