Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[Doofus]

Evangelion said:

Doofus said:

kowalski655 said:

Have a nice lie down to recover

Another?!

FTFY

[Vipers]

A fisherman was trying to learn the alphabet, he got lost at c.

[mickk]

Vipers said:

A fisherman was trying to learn the alphabet, he got lost at c.

Did they find his boat m t?

[RyanOPlasty]

El Guapo said:

Thank heavens you weren't having a prostate examination.

[Wacky Racer]

rayny said:

I'm getting withdrawal symptoms from a lack of 1970's jokes.

"What's the difference between a penis and a leg of chicken?"


Girl:- "I don't know"


"Do you want to come on a picnic?"





Jewish Kamikaze pilot.

Crashed his plane in his brother's scrapyard.




Bernard Manning

1977

[Vipers]

Woman goes into a dry cleaners, pulls a dress out of a bag and says

"Can you get these stains out for me"

The woman behind the counter didn't quite catch what she said, so she asked

"Come again"

Woman says, "No it's salad cream"

[K12beano]

Hmmm, shouldn't that classic (or vintage? Which is the correct term?) end with:

"No. This time it's salad cream"

[K12beano]

[schmunk]

Wacky Racer said:

"What's the difference between a penis and a leg of chicken?"

"Leg of chicken"?

Did you from another language this translate?

[PoleDriver]

My wife accused me of being a transvestite.
So I packed her things and left.

[Monkeylegend]

My wife accused me of being a cross dresser.

"No I fking am not" I screamed at her as I got out of bed and put my clothes on.

[LordGrover]

Monkeylegend said:

My wife accused me of being a cross dresser.

"No I fking am not" I screamed at her as I got out of bed and put my clothes on.

her clothes?

[Monkeylegend]

LordGrover said:

Monkeylegend said:

My wife accused me of being a cross dresser.

"No I fking am not" I screamed at her as I got out of bed and put my clothes on.

her clothes?

My wife accused me of being an angry dress..... oh I give up.

[LordGrover]

Ah.
Erm.
As you were.

[Monkeylegend]

LordGrover said:

Ah.
Erm.
As you were.

I was thinking the parrot was going to be for me

[LordGrover]

Thing is, it works both ways. Fnar, fnar.

[Doofus]

My wife accused me of being an angry man.

So I punched her in the throat. Stupid bint.

[Muntu]

My next door neighbour accused me of stealing her knickers from her washing line


I nearly shat in her pants

[Fluffsri]

How does NASA organise a party?

They planet!

[Hugo a Gogo]

how does the man in the moon cut his hair?

eclipse it

edit: R, me hearties

Edited by Hugo a Gogo on Tuesday 9th May 12:57