Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2
Discussion
PositronicRay said:
srebbe64 said:
I was looking at the Covid infections in the local rag where it gives the number per 100k (in effect a percentage). Anyway, there's a local village that, for some reason or other, is a hotspot (more than double anywhere else local). I said to my wife, "how weird that that village has 600 per 100,000 (0.6%) compared to everywhere else. You guessed it: she said it can't be true because there aren't 100,000 people in that village!
I like her thinking. WilliamWoollard said:
Watching the Dolly Parton documentary that was on a few nights ago, wifey was gushing about how much she loved her, the size of her boobs were also noted.
After 15 minutes she remarks
Such a shame that she died.
Eh? She's not dead is she?
Yeah, that's why she left Eastenders because she was ill
What? .... Are you thinking of Barbara Windsor?
Yes - that's her on TV
That's not cockney landlady Barbara Windsor, its probably the most famous country singer in the world, Dolly Parton
Oh, I wondered why she was talking differently
Give me strength!
After 15 minutes she remarks
Such a shame that she died.
Eh? She's not dead is she?
Yeah, that's why she left Eastenders because she was ill
What? .... Are you thinking of Barbara Windsor?
Yes - that's her on TV
That's not cockney landlady Barbara Windsor, its probably the most famous country singer in the world, Dolly Parton
Oh, I wondered why she was talking differently
Give me strength!
I can see the similarity, but the accent should be a giveaway
Meanwhile in Ireland a few years ago. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3ardckySYY
john2443 said:
WilliamWoollard said:
Watching the Dolly Parton documentary that was on a few nights ago, wifey was gushing about how much she loved her, the size of her boobs were also noted.
After 15 minutes she remarks
Such a shame that she died.
Eh? She's not dead is she?
Yeah, that's why she left Eastenders because she was ill
What? .... Are you thinking of Barbara Windsor?
Yes - that's her on TV
That's not cockney landlady Barbara Windsor, its probably the most famous country singer in the world, Dolly Parton
Oh, I wondered why she was talking differently
Give me strength!
After 15 minutes she remarks
Such a shame that she died.
Eh? She's not dead is she?
Yeah, that's why she left Eastenders because she was ill
What? .... Are you thinking of Barbara Windsor?
Yes - that's her on TV
That's not cockney landlady Barbara Windsor, its probably the most famous country singer in the world, Dolly Parton
Oh, I wondered why she was talking differently
Give me strength!
I can see the similarity, but the accent should be a giveaway
Meanwhile in Ireland a few years ago. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3ardckySYY
SCEtoAUX said:
john2443 said:
WilliamWoollard said:
Watching the Dolly Parton documentary that was on a few nights ago, wifey was gushing about how much she loved her, the size of her boobs were also noted.
After 15 minutes she remarks
Such a shame that she died.
Eh? She's not dead is she?
Yeah, that's why she left Eastenders because she was ill
What? .... Are you thinking of Barbara Windsor?
Yes - that's her on TV
That's not cockney landlady Barbara Windsor, its probably the most famous country singer in the world, Dolly Parton
Oh, I wondered why she was talking differently
Give me strength!
After 15 minutes she remarks
Such a shame that she died.
Eh? She's not dead is she?
Yeah, that's why she left Eastenders because she was ill
What? .... Are you thinking of Barbara Windsor?
Yes - that's her on TV
That's not cockney landlady Barbara Windsor, its probably the most famous country singer in the world, Dolly Parton
Oh, I wondered why she was talking differently
Give me strength!
I can see the similarity, but the accent should be a giveaway
Meanwhile in Ireland a few years ago. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3ardckySYY
SlimJim16v said:
Ms16v: are you cold?
Me: no.
Ms16v: then why is the heating on?
Me:
Don't get me on to heating. Me: no.
Ms16v: then why is the heating on?
Me:
Wife comes in from the cold. Decides that 17 on the thermostat isn't warm enough. Turns it to 24....Not until it clicks on at say 18 or 19. Puts the gas fire on, gets a blanket, has a warm.drink, extra socks.
20 mins later she wants the fire off, turns the heating down to 14, takes her jumper off, opens the door to the garden.
15 mins later ....She turns the heating back to 24
I've tried to say, just turn it up until it clicks off or on : don't move it more than 2 degrees. Stop with the opening the door. You know you'll be too cold in 5 mins.
Pit Pony said:
Don't get me on to heating.
Wife comes in from the cold. Decides that 17 on the thermostat isn't warm enough. Turns it to 24....Not until it clicks on at say 18 or 19. Puts the gas fire on, gets a blanket, has a warm.drink, extra socks.
20 mins later she wants the fire off, turns the heating down to 14, takes her jumper off, opens the door to the garden.
15 mins later ....She turns the heating back to 24
I've tried to say, just turn it up until it clicks off or on : don't move it more than 2 degrees. Stop with the opening the door. You know you'll be too cold in 5 mins.
The female form and their inability to understand how central heating and thermostats work, one of life's mysteries. Wife comes in from the cold. Decides that 17 on the thermostat isn't warm enough. Turns it to 24....Not until it clicks on at say 18 or 19. Puts the gas fire on, gets a blanket, has a warm.drink, extra socks.
20 mins later she wants the fire off, turns the heating down to 14, takes her jumper off, opens the door to the garden.
15 mins later ....She turns the heating back to 24
I've tried to say, just turn it up until it clicks off or on : don't move it more than 2 degrees. Stop with the opening the door. You know you'll be too cold in 5 mins.
HTP99 said:
The female form and their inability to understand how central heating and thermostats work, one of life's mysteries.
I think there's a marketing opportunity here. A dummy thermostat for the missus to play with and a phone App for the man of the house to control the settings sensibly.I've mentioned this on here before. I used to work in an office where the controls for the A/C were accessible to the staff.
The ladies (and females) in the office were permitted by the dress code to wear summer dresses and other light weight clothing during summer. For the men, shirt and tie was the order of the day. Obviously, the men wanted the A/C set to something at least cooler than outside, the women something closer to the melting temperature of lead. Any time the thermostat was reduced, some harpy would come out and reset it, complete with shrieks of complaint.
Comments that the females could at least put on a sweater were not well received.
One day I made the entertaining discovery that you could adjust the temperature to whatever you wanted, then remove the controller from the wall (it was a proper wall mount panel, not a remote), unplug the data cable, then mount it back up.
The main unit would then happily chug away and bring the temperature down to what had been set before it was disconnected, while the panel would display whatever it was set to, despite not controlling anything.
The women were happy and would come out several times a day to check the venusian target was still there, the men were comfortable.
We had to switch it for winter, but that wasn't a big problem.
The ladies (and females) in the office were permitted by the dress code to wear summer dresses and other light weight clothing during summer. For the men, shirt and tie was the order of the day. Obviously, the men wanted the A/C set to something at least cooler than outside, the women something closer to the melting temperature of lead. Any time the thermostat was reduced, some harpy would come out and reset it, complete with shrieks of complaint.
Comments that the females could at least put on a sweater were not well received.
One day I made the entertaining discovery that you could adjust the temperature to whatever you wanted, then remove the controller from the wall (it was a proper wall mount panel, not a remote), unplug the data cable, then mount it back up.
The main unit would then happily chug away and bring the temperature down to what had been set before it was disconnected, while the panel would display whatever it was set to, despite not controlling anything.
The women were happy and would come out several times a day to check the venusian target was still there, the men were comfortable.
We had to switch it for winter, but that wasn't a big problem.
CanAm said:
HTP99 said:
The female form and their inability to understand how central heating and thermostats work, one of life's mysteries.
I think there's a marketing opportunity here. A dummy thermostat for the missus to play with and a phone App for the man of the house to control the settings sensibly.Without being patronising, I decided this was far too complex, for anyone to be arsed with.
I've got it set to 18 degrees, 24 hours a day. If you are in there turn the thing on. And when you are hot enough turn it off. And when you leave turn it off. The power it pumps out is just enough to heat the room at minus 8 outside. After that the insulation isn't quite good enough, and it will never quite get to temp. . Setting the thermostat higher won't help.
When I first put it in I put the screw in. Not had any complaints. She'll go up to watch telly, or use the desk and says it's perfect.
Sitting watching the Neil Diamond Glastonbury set.
Doing Red Red Wine/
In comes Mrs Fox
'It really is a shame when singers get older and can't do the songs right'
( Eyebrows by me nothing said)
she carries on 'I mean he is doing it all wrong, it should be belted out and faster
(Eyebrows up and now mouth open)
I offer some info. ' Thats how it should be sung'
MrsF 'Too slow'
Me 'But he wrote it, he should know'
Mrs F 'UB40 do it better, and if i had known it should be like that , i wouldn't have liked it......'
Me.. Slumps back into chair lost another senseless argument
Update
He is just doing I'm a believer ..Round 2 starts same as round one. No wonder he doesn't sing his own songs......
Doing Red Red Wine/
In comes Mrs Fox
'It really is a shame when singers get older and can't do the songs right'
( Eyebrows by me nothing said)
she carries on 'I mean he is doing it all wrong, it should be belted out and faster
(Eyebrows up and now mouth open)
I offer some info. ' Thats how it should be sung'
MrsF 'Too slow'
Me 'But he wrote it, he should know'
Mrs F 'UB40 do it better, and if i had known it should be like that , i wouldn't have liked it......'
Me.. Slumps back into chair lost another senseless argument
Update
He is just doing I'm a believer ..Round 2 starts same as round one. No wonder he doesn't sing his own songs......
Edited by silverfoxcc on Tuesday 26th January 12:30
Sitting watching the Neil Diamond Glastonbury set.
Doing Red Red Wine/
In comes Mrs Fox
'It really is a shame when singers get older and can't do the songs right'
( Eyebrows by me nothing said)
she carries on 'I mean he is doing it all wrong, it should be belted out and faster
(Eyebrows up and now mouth open)
I offer some info. ' Thats how it should be sung'
MrsF 'Too slow'
Me 'But he wrote it, he should know'
Mrs F 'UB40 do it better, and if i had known it should be like that , i wouldn't have liked it......'
Me.. Slumps back into chair lost another senseless argument
Update
He is just doing I'm a believer ..Round 2 starts same as round one. No wonder he doesn't sing his own songs......
Doing Red Red Wine/
In comes Mrs Fox
'It really is a shame when singers get older and can't do the songs right'
( Eyebrows by me nothing said)
she carries on 'I mean he is doing it all wrong, it should be belted out and faster
(Eyebrows up and now mouth open)
I offer some info. ' Thats how it should be sung'
MrsF 'Too slow'
Me 'But he wrote it, he should know'
Mrs F 'UB40 do it better, and if i had known it should be like that , i wouldn't have liked it......'
Me.. Slumps back into chair lost another senseless argument
Update
He is just doing I'm a believer ..Round 2 starts same as round one. No wonder he doesn't sing his own songs......
Edited by silverfoxcc on Tuesday 26th January 12:32
I had a Covid vaccination yesterday. No apparent side effects at the time, but this morning I felt a bit strange, and very cold. My wife has one of those infrared thermometers and uses it on me. 103 
Nothing for it but to get back into bed. It's the only place I can get warm anyway.
A little while later I suggest she take my temperature again.
It's gone up, it's in the red now! (the screen changes colour at various preset temperatures).
What is it, I ask.
100.4 comes the reply. Well it's gone down then I respond.
Turns out the first time she took it is was 100.3.
Nothing for it but to get back into bed. It's the only place I can get warm anyway.
A little while later I suggest she take my temperature again.
It's gone up, it's in the red now! (the screen changes colour at various preset temperatures).
What is it, I ask.
100.4 comes the reply. Well it's gone down then I respond.
Turns out the first time she took it is was 100.3.
Electrity fuse box is in the garage, garage door is electric, she wants to get her car out but a fuse has gone, She can squeeze down the wall to the fuse box, I cannot. Other electric things in the house are not working, but not all of them
Her: 'I cannot see which fuse has tripped' Looking at the fuse box
There are about 20. I have labelled each fuse, I am stood at the opened personnel door..
Her: 'Which one is it?'
Me: 'I cannot see from here, I don't know which one is down'
Her: 'Well you should do'
Her: 'I cannot see which fuse has tripped' Looking at the fuse box
There are about 20. I have labelled each fuse, I am stood at the opened personnel door..
Her: 'Which one is it?'
Me: 'I cannot see from here, I don't know which one is down'
Her: 'Well you should do'
BT Summers said:
Electrity fuse box is in the garage, garage door is electric, she wants to get her car out but a fuse has gone, She can squeeze down the wall to the fuse box, I cannot. Other electric things in the house are not working, but not all of them
Her: 'I cannot see which fuse has tripped' Looking at the fuse box
There are about 20. I have labelled each fuse, I am stood at the opened personnel door..
Her: 'Which one is it?'
Me: 'I cannot see from here, I don't know which one is down'
Her: 'Well you should do'
So you labelled all the fuses, but you don't know which one is for the garage door? What kind of shoddy job was that? Her: 'I cannot see which fuse has tripped' Looking at the fuse box
There are about 20. I have labelled each fuse, I am stood at the opened personnel door..
Her: 'Which one is it?'
Me: 'I cannot see from here, I don't know which one is down'
Her: 'Well you should do'
BT Summers said:
Electrity fuse box is in the garage, garage door is electric, she wants to get her car out but a fuse has gone, She can squeeze down the wall to the fuse box, I cannot. Other electric things in the house are not working, but not all of them
Her: 'I cannot see which fuse has tripped' Looking at the fuse box
There are about 20. I have labelled each fuse, I am stood at the opened personnel door..
Her: 'Which one is it?'
Me: 'I cannot see from here, I don't know which one is down'
Her: 'Well you should do'
When she's moved her car, take your phone and get a picture of the fusebox, complete with labels. Next time it happens she will surely be impressed by your prescience.Her: 'I cannot see which fuse has tripped' Looking at the fuse box
There are about 20. I have labelled each fuse, I am stood at the opened personnel door..
Her: 'Which one is it?'
Me: 'I cannot see from here, I don't know which one is down'
Her: 'Well you should do'
BT Summers said:
Turned out to be none of the lindividually labelled trip fuses, a master fuse had tripped, there is more than one.
The clue was more than one appliance wasn't working.
to have an RCD in what is presumably a dual RCD consumer unit covering the garage door that affords access to said unit is a terribly thoughtless piece of design. Separate protection would be better.The clue was more than one appliance wasn't working.
Mrs V and I returning from work and we see the Neighbours out for a walk about half a mile from home, they wave us down, so I pull over for a window chat. The conversation soon turns to the forthcoming snow:
Mrs N: It looks like it might be bad this weekend. When we get back I'm going to book a Tesco delivery just in case.
Mrs V: Oooh, Good idea. I might do that too!
Me: Why????!! If it snows that bad you won't get a delivery AND we BOTH live 400 yards from Tesco!!!! (My mind is filled with expletives and FFS words)
[Mr N is laughing his head off]
[Both women are thinking I'm mean]
Mrs N: It looks like it might be bad this weekend. When we get back I'm going to book a Tesco delivery just in case.
Mrs V: Oooh, Good idea. I might do that too!
Me: Why????!! If it snows that bad you won't get a delivery AND we BOTH live 400 yards from Tesco!!!! (My mind is filled with expletives and FFS words)
[Mr N is laughing his head off]
[Both women are thinking I'm mean]
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