Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[kowalski655]

"Ah Mr Bond,Ive been expecting you" Blofeld St Nick

[Halmyre]

kowalski655 said:

"Ah Mr Bond,Ive been expecting you" Blofeld St Nick

(cough) Old Nick (cough)

(St Nick = Santa Claus)

[Doofus]

Halmyre said:

kowalski655 said:

"Ah Mr Bond,Ive been expecting you" Blofeld St Nick

(cough) Old Nick (cough)

(St Nick = Santa Claus)

[Doofus]

Well if Mr Moore becomes a ghost, the only person he'll scare is himself.

[Shakermaker]

Doofus said:

Halmyre said:

kowalski655 said:

"Ah Mr Bond,Ive been expecting you" Blofeld St Nick

(cough) Old Nick (cough)

(St Nick = Santa Claus)

St Peter?

[Gargamel]

Shakermaker said:

St Peter?

Think it was just The Saint ?

[kowalski655]

Shakermaker said:

Doofus said:

Halmyre said:

kowalski655 said:

"Ah Mr Bond,Ive been expecting you" Blofeld St Nick

(cough) Old Nick (cough)

(St Nick = Santa Claus)

St Peter?

Thats the one I meant, I am not too good withthis religion stuff

[MartG]

Even a spy can be on holiday

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYkTwXAyOBU&fe...

Roger Moore's first appearance as James Bond, in a 1964 comedy sketch

[CanAm]

Halmyre said:

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
There was no one in the vicinity
Jill Jack came down with minus half-a-crown
But not for fetching water
And Jill minus her virginity

Fixed that for you.

[davhill]

New specialist funeral catering company. For your mince pies only.

Edited by davhill on Tuesday 23 May 15:44

[madbadger]

Here's a joke.

Rogers jumper.

[PixelpeepS3]

Well, He won't be rogering any more will he?

Dr said No

[Laurel Green]

Stiff finger.

[PixelpeepS3]

I really thought he'd die another day.

[MartG]

Is St. Irene Fome the patron saint of packaging ?

[davhill]

Laurel Green said:

Stiff finger.

Could be coldfinger.

[Laurel Green]

davhill said:

Could be coldfinger.

[PoleDriver]

We're starting to drift into the realms of bad taste here chaps!!
Keep up the good work!

[Sticks.]

silverfoxcc said:

A policeman from near Clapham Junction
Had a penis that just wouldn't function
For the rest of his life
He mislead his poor wife
With some snot on the end of his truncheon

I heard it this way, which imho works better.

A policeman from Beckenham Junction,
Whose organ had long ceased to function,
Maintained his sex life,
By deceiving his wife.
With dexterous use of his truncheon.

[lucido grigio]

You don't live twice......