The thread for puns not jokes...

The thread for puns not jokes...

Author
Discussion

davhill

5,263 posts

186 months

Sunday 17th November 2019
quotequote all
FredClogs said:
This thread is a turf read
Given I was talking about leaves I've become sycamore lawn puns.

67Dino

3,593 posts

107 months

Sunday 17th November 2019
quotequote all
davhill said:
FredClogs said:
This thread is a turf read
Given I was talking about leaves I've become sycamore lawn puns.
We really should branch out

davhill

5,263 posts

186 months

Monday 18th November 2019
quotequote all
67Dino said:
We really should branch out
That's barking! We already did until the grassroots types muscled in.
However, I can see the root of the problem - these usurpers are sapling our strength.
Though not exactly larch-criminals, they're running rings around the poplar
contributions we submit. Ash anyone and you'll get the same opinion.
I'd like to say it's oak by me but it's such an old chestnut and I refuse to
pine about it.
Life's a beech sometimes but I think there's a solution. Not a social
media or communications platform but a traditional-style magazine
of the review variety. It could be launched under the name 'What Sap?'


RDMcG

19,269 posts

209 months

Monday 18th November 2019
quotequote all
davhill said:
That's barking! We already did until the grassroots types muscled in.
However, I can see the root of the problem - these usurpers are sapling our strength.
Though not exactly larch-criminals, they're running rings around the poplar
contributions we submit. Ash anyone and you'll get the same opinion.
I'd like to say it's oak by me but it's such an old chestnut and I refuse to
pine about it.
Life's a beech sometimes but I think there's a solution. Not a social
media or communications platform but a traditional-style magazine
of the review variety. It could be launched under the name 'What Sap?'
Fir Heaven's sake!!

The Li-ion King

3,769 posts

66 months

Monday 18th November 2019
quotequote all
RDMcG said:
Fir Heaven's sake!!
The sky's the limit

FredClogs

14,041 posts

163 months

Monday 18th November 2019
quotequote all
Yew've got to be Joaking.

67Dino

3,593 posts

107 months

Monday 18th November 2019
quotequote all
This thread is almost beyond me. But then I thought, well, if you can’t join them, arboretum.

fathomfive

9,975 posts

192 months

Monday 18th November 2019
quotequote all
67Dino said:
This thread is almost beyond me. But then I thought, well, if you can’t join them, arboretum.
I'm rooting for you.

Blatter

857 posts

193 months

Friday 22nd November 2019
quotequote all
I tried calling the Tinnitus Helpline

No answer - kept ringing



Edited by Blatter on Friday 22 November 13:46

Monkeylegend

26,620 posts

233 months

Friday 22nd November 2019
quotequote all
Blatter said:
I tried calling the Tinnius Helpline

No answer - kept ringing
Never mind have a cup of t.

RDMcG

19,269 posts

209 months

Friday 22nd November 2019
quotequote all
Monkeylegend said:
Blatter said:
I tried calling the Tinnius Helpline

No answer - kept ringing
Never mind have a cup of t.
Ear ear!!

Blatter

857 posts

193 months

Friday 22nd November 2019
quotequote all
RDMcG said:
Monkeylegend said:
Blatter said:
I tried calling the Tinnius Helpline

No answer - kept ringing
Never mind have a cup of t.
Ear ear!!
Bu99er!

RDMcG

19,269 posts

209 months

Friday 22nd November 2019
quotequote all
Blatter said:
RDMcG said:
Monkeylegend said:
Blatter said:
I tried calling the Tinnius Helpline

No answer - kept ringing
Never mind have a cup of t.
Ear ear!!
Bu99er!
Wouldn’t melt in your mouth

davhill

5,263 posts

186 months

Friday 22nd November 2019
quotequote all
Well, we cochlea these things but there's no profit in waxing lyrical. You shouldn't pinna your hopes on them.

RDMcG

19,269 posts

209 months

Friday 22nd November 2019
quotequote all
davhill said:
Well, we cochlea these things but there's no profit in waxing lyrical. You shouldn't pinna your hopes on them.
I have learned my listen

davhill

5,263 posts

186 months

Friday 22nd November 2019
quotequote all
"Are you sure that herbivorous mammoth-like creature stole your smartphone?"

"Mastodon."

RDMcG

19,269 posts

209 months

Friday 22nd November 2019
quotequote all
davhill said:
"Are you sure that herbivorous mammoth-like creature stole your smartphone?"

"Mastodon."
Needed to make a trunk call

Evangelion

7,795 posts

180 months

Friday 22nd November 2019
quotequote all
At first I thought it had been pinched, but now ivory membered where I left it.

davhill

5,263 posts

186 months

Friday 22nd November 2019
quotequote all
But stealing? It'll have to be taken to tusk.

Evangelion

7,795 posts

180 months

Friday 22nd November 2019
quotequote all
An excellent pun sir? Howdah you do that?