Kids at home....
Discussion
DonnyMac - imo you're not doing him a favour by letting him live in this fantasy world where if he pays rent to you, he'd be better/cheaper elsewhere. He's certainly in for a shock when he lands in the 'real world' and out of that £450 a week he now needs to pay rent, food, electricity, water, council tax, internet, phone bill, etc etc.
I'd be tempted to tell him you're now charging him £100 a week, all inclusive. If he doesn't like it and threatens to move out I'd offer to help him pack. If he goes through with it you can just keep his room available for when it finally sinks in how easy he had it
If he's living in cloud cuckoo land he's likely wasting most/all of his wages, at the point in his life where he can probably save a far higher % than he's ever likely to be able to. Depending on his job it might not matter that much - if he's earning £1900/month right now but on a career path to earn £100k quickly... its pretty much irrelevant. But if he's reasonably near the top of what he can hope to earn, then he's going to make life extremely difficult for himself as far as getting a deposit for a house together and so on.
I'd be tempted to tell him you're now charging him £100 a week, all inclusive. If he doesn't like it and threatens to move out I'd offer to help him pack. If he goes through with it you can just keep his room available for when it finally sinks in how easy he had it
If he's living in cloud cuckoo land he's likely wasting most/all of his wages, at the point in his life where he can probably save a far higher % than he's ever likely to be able to. Depending on his job it might not matter that much - if he's earning £1900/month right now but on a career path to earn £100k quickly... its pretty much irrelevant. But if he's reasonably near the top of what he can hope to earn, then he's going to make life extremely difficult for himself as far as getting a deposit for a house together and so on.
None of my three pay rent to be in Norfolk (in the house) on the understanding that the heating isn't used; why should I charge them when I'm going to be paying for their deposits either directly or indirectly - its madness. They have all been offered cottage tenancy on a 'family price' basis but they didn't fancy it much. Bit stricter about just coming and going as they please from London as it isn't as big and when I'm there it's because I am working and therefore the chaos that they bring is unwanted. Also I can see that my middle one is hoping to just spend more and more time there as I spend less and less, the theory being I will eventually just move out and they in - that wont be happening trust me! It seems lunacy to me to take money from ones kids when the world is such a difficult place for them to break into at the moment.
Rufus said:
None of my three pay rent to be in Norfolk (in the house) on the understanding that the heating isn't used; why should I charge them when I'm going to be paying for their deposits either directly or indirectly - its madness. They have all been offered cottage tenancy on a 'family price' basis but they didn't fancy it much. Bit stricter about just coming and going as they please from London as it isn't as big and when I'm there it's because I am working and therefore the chaos that they bring is unwanted. Also I can see that my middle one is hoping to just spend more and more time there as I spend less and less, the theory being I will eventually just move out and they in - that wont be happening trust me! It seems lunacy to me to take money from ones kids when the world is such a difficult place for them to break into at the moment.
It probably depends on the kids. But taking money from an 18 year old as rent and then giving them it back as a deposit to buy a house when they're 22, at least guarantees the money is still there. A lot of 18 year olds will just go finance the most expensive car they can afford, piss it all up the wall, or waste it on iPhones and holidays. KFC said:
It probably depends on the kids. But taking money from an 18 year old as rent and then giving them it back as a deposit to buy a house when they're 22, at least guarantees the money is still there. A lot of 18 year olds will just go finance the most expensive car they can afford, piss it all up the wall, or waste it on iPhones and holidays.
I suppose I'm lucky that with the exception of the eldest (who was doing something very specialist costing us a fortune and travelling all over the place) the others have decided on university, youngest still their and the middle graduating last year so haven't had the problem of them around permanently. Once they hit that age is it not up to them, albeit with some guidance and a gentle direction, to manage their finances and learn the hard way perhaps, knowing that you will always be there for them to fall back on if needed?This is a tough subject for me. I'm 22 and on paper I pay my way very little with just the house's phone, TV and internet bill covered (£60-£100 a month depending on how much mum has used the phone) but I do help out readily if and when cash is needed for the house or my younger brothers and will buy food for the house when requested.
To be honest, I wish that the set amount of £200 which I was told to pay when I started my first job had been stuck to. Instead I spend a far higher amount of money keeping the house ticking over but then often get told that I don't pay anything towards the house because it is not a set sum and as much as I love my mum, I don't think she is too great with money and seems to not see that the £50 here and there add up very quickly. Last month I tried to get my head onto of my figures and worked out that around half my take home (circa £600) goes 'missing' per month even after generous figures for personal expenses (I'm a boring person that doesn't buy much
) and the house is the only logical place it could be going, but without somehow marking out cash point transactions for petty cash and what part of a tesco shop was for me and what was for the house, I've found it difficult to be able to tell. So I apparently pay nothing 
.
I hate saying this, but I think I'm bit resentful. I know that we are in an awkward situation as a family, I've never earned much but my mum works part time and earns even less and two younger brothers and fathers that don't pay child support and aren't really around so money is tight, but her issues with handling money ultimately seem to be effecting me on the long term. People on here talking about saving thousands of pounds to give to their children at around about my age, meanwhile I have sod all to my name but have worked since I rolled 16. I've not had a car for three years because I had to sell my last one to pay for emergency flights home for her and my brothers after she ignored all logic and decided to piss away her redundancy money on a 'working holiday' to a country with a nose diving economy and had nothing left to come back to the UK with. I literally sleep on a mattress because I haven't been able to justify a proper bed since I was 16, meanwhile there is over a thousand pounds worth of flat packed beds for my brothers waiting for someone (probably me) to assemble them.
I'm under no illusion that living alone would be cheaper or even easier (especially given how I live in london could probably only stress a flat share) and it can be a bit of a pain living at home, and that's before we consider where we should bring lady friends back at night
.
To be honest, I wish that the set amount of £200 which I was told to pay when I started my first job had been stuck to. Instead I spend a far higher amount of money keeping the house ticking over but then often get told that I don't pay anything towards the house because it is not a set sum and as much as I love my mum, I don't think she is too great with money and seems to not see that the £50 here and there add up very quickly. Last month I tried to get my head onto of my figures and worked out that around half my take home (circa £600) goes 'missing' per month even after generous figures for personal expenses (I'm a boring person that doesn't buy much
) and the house is the only logical place it could be going, but without somehow marking out cash point transactions for petty cash and what part of a tesco shop was for me and what was for the house, I've found it difficult to be able to tell. So I apparently pay nothing .I hate saying this, but I think I'm bit resentful. I know that we are in an awkward situation as a family, I've never earned much but my mum works part time and earns even less and two younger brothers and fathers that don't pay child support and aren't really around so money is tight, but her issues with handling money ultimately seem to be effecting me on the long term. People on here talking about saving thousands of pounds to give to their children at around about my age, meanwhile I have sod all to my name but have worked since I rolled 16. I've not had a car for three years because I had to sell my last one to pay for emergency flights home for her and my brothers after she ignored all logic and decided to piss away her redundancy money on a 'working holiday' to a country with a nose diving economy and had nothing left to come back to the UK with. I literally sleep on a mattress because I haven't been able to justify a proper bed since I was 16, meanwhile there is over a thousand pounds worth of flat packed beds for my brothers waiting for someone (probably me) to assemble them.
I'm under no illusion that living alone would be cheaper or even easier (especially given how I live in london could probably only stress a flat share) and it can be a bit of a pain living at home, and that's before we consider where we should bring lady friends back at night
.Chlamydia said:
You should move out and house/flat share, at £600 a month you'd get a decent place in London. You might even be able to get a place to yourself. I certainly wouldn't continue in the situation you're in now.
At a guess... he knows he should (if you look at it from a selfish angle). But he's going to leave his siblings in a worse situation if he does that, which is he hasn't done it.Chlamydia said:
JoshyS said:
Stuff
You should move out and house/flat share, at £600 a month you'd get a decent place in London. You might even be able to get a place to yourself. I certainly wouldn't continue in the situation you're in now.Plus, let's not forget, if by some chance you did fined somewhere decent in London for £600 you'd need what £1,800 to get in to it.
For what it's worth, moved out on my 19th when I started uni and never moved back. That was 15 years ago.
Edited by hadenough! on Saturday 2nd November 18:36
I earn around £23k and I pay £200 p/m to live at home. The money covers my share of the food & bills, no rent as mum and dad have paid off their mortgage 
A lad I know at work though is a pay band above me and lives rent-free in his mum's house while she lives with her partner. He has free reign over the house and his mum even buys his food. Lucky b
d 
A lad I know at work though is a pay band above me and lives rent-free in his mum's house while she lives with her partner. He has free reign over the house and his mum even buys his food. Lucky b
d Edited by Quhet on Saturday 2nd November 18:13
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