Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)
Discussion
Tramp polishes off his £1.99p bottle of red before passing out and falling asleep in a hedge.
Fella comes by, spots the tramp and decides to take advantage and as he is withdrawing has a pang of guilt and sticks £20 in tramp's top pocket.
Tramp wakes up, finds the £20 and goes to off licence. 'Your usual sir?'. No, this time I'll try the Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99.
Tramp polishes off his £19.99p bottle of red before passing out again and falling asleep in a hedge.
Same fella comes by, spots tramp, etc. etc and leaves another £20 in top pocket.
Tramp wakes up, and again wanders off to purchase another bottle of Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99 before sleeping it off in the local hedge.
This goes on for a couple more nights.
Tramp wakes up, finds the £20 again and goes to off licence. 'Your usual Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99 sir?'.
Tramp replies ' No - I think I'll go back on the £1.99 brew - the other one is making my @rse sore !'
Fella comes by, spots the tramp and decides to take advantage and as he is withdrawing has a pang of guilt and sticks £20 in tramp's top pocket.
Tramp wakes up, finds the £20 and goes to off licence. 'Your usual sir?'. No, this time I'll try the Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99.
Tramp polishes off his £19.99p bottle of red before passing out again and falling asleep in a hedge.
Same fella comes by, spots tramp, etc. etc and leaves another £20 in top pocket.
Tramp wakes up, and again wanders off to purchase another bottle of Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99 before sleeping it off in the local hedge.
This goes on for a couple more nights.
Tramp wakes up, finds the £20 again and goes to off licence. 'Your usual Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99 sir?'.
Tramp replies ' No - I think I'll go back on the £1.99 brew - the other one is making my @rse sore !'
BryanC said:
Tramp polishes off his £1.99p bottle of red before passing out and falling asleep in a hedge.
Fella comes by, spots the tramp and decides to take advantage and as he is withdrawing has a pang of guilt and sticks £20 in tramp's top pocket.
Tramp wakes up, finds the £20 and goes to off licence. 'Your usual sir?'. No, this time I'll try the Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99.
Tramp polishes off his £19.99p bottle of red before passing out again and falling asleep in a hedge.
Same fella comes by, spots tramp, etc. etc and leaves another £20 in top pocket.
Tramp wakes up, and again wanders off to purchase another bottle of Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99 before sleeping it off in the local hedge.
This goes on for a couple more nights.
Tramp wakes up, finds the £20 again and goes to off licence. 'Your usual Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99 sir?'.
Tramp replies ' No - I think I'll go back on the £1.99 brew - the other one is making my @rse sore !'
Chateau Lafitte '87 for £19.99?Fella comes by, spots the tramp and decides to take advantage and as he is withdrawing has a pang of guilt and sticks £20 in tramp's top pocket.
Tramp wakes up, finds the £20 and goes to off licence. 'Your usual sir?'. No, this time I'll try the Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99.
Tramp polishes off his £19.99p bottle of red before passing out again and falling asleep in a hedge.
Same fella comes by, spots tramp, etc. etc and leaves another £20 in top pocket.
Tramp wakes up, and again wanders off to purchase another bottle of Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99 before sleeping it off in the local hedge.
This goes on for a couple more nights.
Tramp wakes up, finds the £20 again and goes to off licence. 'Your usual Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99 sir?'.
Tramp replies ' No - I think I'll go back on the £1.99 brew - the other one is making my @rse sore !'
It's more than £200.
It's the offie who's getting a shagging, not the tramp!
Ayahuasca said:
BryanC said:
Tramp polishes off his £1.99p bottle of red before passing out and falling asleep in a hedge.
Fella comes by, spots the tramp and decides to take advantage and as he is withdrawing has a pang of guilt and sticks £20 in tramp's top pocket.
Tramp wakes up, finds the £20 and goes to off licence. 'Your usual sir?'. No, this time I'll try the Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99.
Tramp polishes off his £19.99p bottle of red before passing out again and falling asleep in a hedge.
Same fella comes by, spots tramp, etc. etc and leaves another £20 in top pocket.
Tramp wakes up, and again wanders off to purchase another bottle of Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99 before sleeping it off in the local hedge.
This goes on for a couple more nights.
Tramp wakes up, finds the £20 again and goes to off licence. 'Your usual Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99 sir?'.
Tramp replies ' No - I think I'll go back on the £1.99 brew - the other one is making my @rse sore !'
Chateau Lafitte '87 for £19.99?Fella comes by, spots the tramp and decides to take advantage and as he is withdrawing has a pang of guilt and sticks £20 in tramp's top pocket.
Tramp wakes up, finds the £20 and goes to off licence. 'Your usual sir?'. No, this time I'll try the Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99.
Tramp polishes off his £19.99p bottle of red before passing out again and falling asleep in a hedge.
Same fella comes by, spots tramp, etc. etc and leaves another £20 in top pocket.
Tramp wakes up, and again wanders off to purchase another bottle of Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99 before sleeping it off in the local hedge.
This goes on for a couple more nights.
Tramp wakes up, finds the £20 again and goes to off licence. 'Your usual Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99 sir?'.
Tramp replies ' No - I think I'll go back on the £1.99 brew - the other one is making my @rse sore !'
It's more than £200.
It's the offie who's getting a shagging, not the tramp!
mybrainhurts said:
Ayahuasca said:
BryanC said:
Tramp polishes off his £1.99p bottle of red before passing out and falling asleep in a hedge.
Fella comes by, spots the tramp and decides to take advantage and as he is withdrawing has a pang of guilt and sticks £20 in tramp's top pocket.
Tramp wakes up, finds the £20 and goes to off licence. 'Your usual sir?'. No, this time I'll try the Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99.
Tramp polishes off his £19.99p bottle of red before passing out again and falling asleep in a hedge.
Same fella comes by, spots tramp, etc. etc and leaves another £20 in top pocket.
Tramp wakes up, and again wanders off to purchase another bottle of Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99 before sleeping it off in the local hedge.
This goes on for a couple more nights.
Tramp wakes up, finds the £20 again and goes to off licence. 'Your usual Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99 sir?'.
Tramp replies ' No - I think I'll go back on the £1.99 brew - the other one is making my @rse sore !'
Chateau Lafitte '87 for £19.99?Fella comes by, spots the tramp and decides to take advantage and as he is withdrawing has a pang of guilt and sticks £20 in tramp's top pocket.
Tramp wakes up, finds the £20 and goes to off licence. 'Your usual sir?'. No, this time I'll try the Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99.
Tramp polishes off his £19.99p bottle of red before passing out again and falling asleep in a hedge.
Same fella comes by, spots tramp, etc. etc and leaves another £20 in top pocket.
Tramp wakes up, and again wanders off to purchase another bottle of Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99 before sleeping it off in the local hedge.
This goes on for a couple more nights.
Tramp wakes up, finds the £20 again and goes to off licence. 'Your usual Chateau Lafitte '87 at £19.99 sir?'.
Tramp replies ' No - I think I'll go back on the £1.99 brew - the other one is making my @rse sore !'
It's more than £200.
It's the offie who's getting a shagging, not the tramp!
Hugo a Gogo said:
what do you call a man with a piece of wood on his head?
Edward
what do you call a man with 2 pieces of wood on his head?
Edward Wood
what do you call a man with 3 pieces of wood on his head?
Edward Woodward
what do you call a man with 4 pieces of wood on his head?
I dunno, but Edward Woodward would
The German version:Edward
what do you call a man with 2 pieces of wood on his head?
Edward Wood
what do you call a man with 3 pieces of wood on his head?
Edward Woodward
what do you call a man with 4 pieces of wood on his head?
I dunno, but Edward Woodward would
What do you call a man with a piece of wood on his head?
If you are aware of his given name, you may address him with this. If he had adopted a nickname by which he is comfortable to be known, using this would also be deemed acceptable. If, however, you do not already know what his name is, ask him to kindly inform you so that you may become acquainted. You may then ask him why he has a piece of wood on his head, and he will quite likely answer you with humility and direct earnest.
kowalski655 said:
Hugo a Gogo said:
what do you call a man with a piece of wood on his head?
Edward
what do you call a man with 2 pieces of wood on his head?
Edward Wood
what do you call a man with 3 pieces of wood on his head?
Edward Woodward
what do you call a man with 4 pieces of wood on his head?
I dunno, but Edward Woodward would
The German version:Edward
what do you call a man with 2 pieces of wood on his head?
Edward Wood
what do you call a man with 3 pieces of wood on his head?
Edward Woodward
what do you call a man with 4 pieces of wood on his head?
I dunno, but Edward Woodward would
What do you call a man with a piece of wood on his head?
If you are aware of his given name, you may address him with this. If he had adopted a nickname by which he is comfortable to be known, using this would also be deemed acceptable. If, however, you do not already know what his name is, ask him to kindly inform you so that you may become acquainted. You may then ask him why he has a piece of wood on his head, and he will quite likely answer you with humility and direct earnest.
Natalie Wood
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