A bit council (Vol 3)

[talksthetorque]

My oh came back from the shops with this.

Your comments are welcome.

[Frank7]

V8mate said:

True story. (of just how predisposed I've become to expecting any interaction with council to end up going wrong for me)


Walking to the shop for a paper this morning; horrible, rainy morning.
Noticed a mobile phone wallet on the pavement. Gave it a tap with my foot, and the weight suggested its contents were still intact.
Picked it up, opened it. It was an iPhone.
'I should try and reunite this with its owner', I thought to myself.
Pressed the Home button; screen lights up.
Four notifications on the lock screen. All UFC related.
'Council', I deflated internally. 'Somehow this is all going to end up my fault'.

>chucks phone on the grass verge and keeps walking<


Sorry it's not as good as Frank's stories.

Come on, it wasn’t bad, although I’ll agree that UFC, (I had to Google it too), is uber Council, I would at the very least have handed it in, if I couldn’t contact the owner.
If things go quiet after Christmas, I’ll brighten your day with the tear jerking tale of how I reunited a mobile phone and a Sheaffer gold fountain pen with their owner, when I found them in the luggage compartment of my taxi in Sloane Square one day.

[AW111]

V8mate said:

True story. (of just how predisposed I've become to expecting any interaction with council to end up going wrong for me)


Walking to the shop for a paper this morning; horrible, rainy morning.
Noticed a mobile phone wallet on the pavement. Gave it a tap with my foot, and the weight suggested its contents were still intact.
Picked it up, opened it. It was an iPhone.
'I should try and reunite this with its owner', I thought to myself.
Pressed the Home button; screen lights up.
Four notifications on the lock screen. All UFC related.
'Council', I deflated internally. 'Somehow this is all going to end up my fault'.

>chucks phone on the grass verge and keeps walking<


Sorry it's not as good as Frank's stories.

I'm afraid your behaviour seems, well, a bit council.




Not really - you didn't sell the phone.

[talksthetorque]

Frank7 said:

Come on, it wasn’t bad, although I’ll agree that UFC, (I had to Google it too), is uber Council, I would at the very least have handed it in, if I couldn’t contact the owner.
If things go quiet after Christmas, I’ll brighten your day with the tear jerking tale of how I reunited a mobile phone and a Sheaffer gold fountain pen with their owner, when I found them in the luggage compartment of my taxi in Sloane Square one day.

That sounds like it needs its own thread.

[anonymous-user]

talksthetorque said:

That sounds like it needs its own thread.

Frank's always got a better story, he should write a book.

[Kermit power]

Thesprucegoose said:

talksthetorque said:

That sounds like it needs its own thread.

Frank's always got a better story, he should write a book.

That won't work. I'm sure there must be at least one published author on PH, so Frank would write, produce, direct and star in an Oscar winning big screen epic.

[Frank7]

Thesprucegoose said:

Frank's always got a better story, he should write a book.

Thanks goose, it’s nice to get recognition, even if it’s just extracting the urine.
I have thought of writing a book, but I know my limitations, I have neither the patience nor the imagination to carry it through, particularly the patience.

[ApOrbital]

alorotom said:

Frank7 said:

techiedave said:

I have inserted the photo of the lady in question. I think some will agree with me its quite erotic and enticing:

I think that you may have inadvertently inserted the wrong photo if you intended
to insert one that was erotic and enticing; unless you meant erratic and unexciting.

Oh I don’t know, bet she can suck a rugby ball through a hose

I would same as what's his face dog dude on here.

[talksthetorque]

ApOrbital said:

I would same as what's his face dog dude on here.

Wondering if its the same lass who did the video of the spanx thing. Looks of similar proportions.

[nonsequitur]

And we STILL don't know what UFC means!

[nonsequitur]

talksthetorque said:

My oh came back from the shops with this.

Your comments are welcome.

One of your fingers looks a bit porno...

[CaptainSlow]

nonsequitur said:

talksthetorque said:

My oh came back from the shops with this.

Your comments are welcome.

One of your fingers looks a bit porno...

Bitten finger nails = council

[CharlesdeGaulle]

nonsequitur said:

talksthetorque said:

My oh came back from the shops with this.

Your comments are welcome.

One of your fingers looks a bit porno...

Digits aside, I guess there's a perverse pleasure to be had for the inner-humbug to wipe st across the magical image of childhood Christmas.

[V8mate]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

nonsequitur said:

talksthetorque said:

My oh came back from the shops with this.

Your comments are welcome.

One of your fingers looks a bit porno...

Digits aside, I guess there's a perverse pleasure to be had for the inner-humbug to wipe st across the magical image of childhood Christmas.

Pushing little boys against your chocolate starfish would certainly be a perverse pleasure...

[CharlesdeGaulle]

V8mate said:

Pushing little boys against your chocolate starfish would certainly be a perverse pleasure...

Don't knock it till you've tried it!

[S11Steve]

My father served in Gulf War 1, and one of the souvenirs he returned with was a packet of Saddam Hussein toilet rolls like this -



"Hussein's Insane" , "Wipe your crack on the guy from Iraq" & "Put his face in a very dark place" were the tag lines printed on it.

Or tag-nut lines...


(I'm sure it is still around somewhere, along with the original issue "wanted person" playing cards and a pile of Iraqi dinars)

[alorotom]

Norwich ... huge numbers of ignorant and rude people everywhere all of which seem to be accompanied by a strong whiff of weed in their wake

Yuck and council extravaganzas

[Rostfritt]

V8mate said:

True story. (of just how predisposed I've become to expecting any interaction with council to end up going wrong for me)


Walking to the shop for a paper this morning; horrible, rainy morning.
Noticed a mobile phone wallet on the pavement. Gave it a tap with my foot, and the weight suggested its contents were still intact.
Picked it up, opened it. It was an iPhone.
'I should try and reunite this with its owner', I thought to myself.
Pressed the Home button; screen lights up.
Four notifications on the lock screen. All UFC related.
'Council', I deflated internally. 'Somehow this is all going to end up my fault'.

>chucks phone on the grass verge and keeps walking<


Sorry it's not as good as Frank's stories.

I probably would have done the same. It is a sad reflection that today a good deed could just land you with aggro. I have heard stories of people returning wallets and the owner accusing them of stealing money that was missing.

[berlintaxi]

I pity the neighbours.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6478545/F...

[Bear-n]

That's brilliant!