New Teaspoon Advice Please

[wolfracesonic]

**Important announcement**

I’m sure, like myself you have found yourself, alone in your residence and thought to yourself
‘nice time to have a bit of private spooning time to one’s self’.

So there you are mid vortex, when you look up and sadly note a loose screw projecting from
the dining hall door hinge. What to do? Call a member of staff, go and fetch a screwdriver for
yourself? Alas, procrastination takes hold, the screw goes unattended and the door falls off causing
a fatality. But, instead of killing a family member, why not kill two birds with one stone?

Introducing the new SonicIndustries SpoonDriver™

Once again, SonicIndustries leaves our competitors trailing in our vortex, pushing the borders of
the envelope to such an extent it no longer resembles an envelope but some other sort of
stationery.
Only SonicIndustries sub- micron levels of grinding accuracy…

…can lead to such precise results…

Here we see our scanning electron microscope analysing the grain structure of our proprietary new
steel Chlamydium™. Not sure what the P is tbh, nor what ‘ums’ are but our steel has 200 of them.



So, if you would like to combine spooning with driving home screws, wait till Q3 2024 and place your
orders. If you are concerned about the finish of the spoon in the pictures, I must stress that it is a
pre production prototype and the quality of the item you receive will be nowhere near as good.
That is all.

[Blib]

Special K = Krupp.

[wolfracesonic]

Speshal?

[KP328]

wolfracesonic said:

See, It's this attention to detail that is sadly a dying art and we should applaud an artisan like Wolfy for producing such unique items.

[wolfracesonic]

KP328 said:

See, It's this attention to detail that is sadly a dying art and we should applaud an artisan like Wolfy for producing such unique items.

Thank you for such kind words, they can only spur SonicIndustries on to even greater achievements.

[anonymoususer]

wolfracesonic said:

**Important announcement**

Introducing the new SonicIndustries SpoonDriver™

.





.

Reported.
This is the spoons thread it's not a place to buy and sell class A drugs we all know what "Special K" means.
I initially thought of some of you as a Dads Army type bunch of ageing dodderers into an unusual but very worthwhile hobby.
Now it appears you may be a front for a county lines drug supply set up

[mickk]

Peach & Apricot

[eldar]

KP328 said:

wolfracesonic said:

See, It's this attention to detail that is sadly a dying art and we should applaud an artisan like Wolfy for producing such unique items.

Optimised for tea bags, obviously. An astounding achievement to go more down market than Krupp. We are being invaded by the peasantry.

[wolfracesonic]

mickk said:

Peach & Apricot

What’s wrong with peach & apricot? Oh I get it, (touches side of nose) you’re a red berries type of guy aren’t you: figures.

[mickk]

wolfracesonic said:

mickk said:

Peach & Apricot

What’s wrong with peach & apricot? Oh I get it, (touches side of nose) you’re a red berries type of guy aren’t you: figures.

I'm an original type of guy.

[brownspeed]

KP328 said:

See, It's this attention to detail that is sadly a dying art and we should applaud an artisan like Wolfy for producing such unique items.

Totally agree- innovators are openly scorned on here by the senior doddering old bd fraternity. (Wolfy- please PM me with purchase info- I'm very much in!) I was pilloried by some folk when discussing the hyperspoon concepts a few months back.
Interestingly, following their much publicised hyperspoon vortex transition issues, I recently heard that Tafelware Vom Rhineland are pursuing a similar strategy with their "Sspissel" (spoon based chisel pre-prod prototype- pursuing the graphene matrix concept)

keep up the good work chap, maybe we should talk further offline perhaps?

[wolfracesonic]

brownspeed said:

keep up the good work chap, maybe we should talk further offline perhaps?

Maybe we shouldn’t.

[Bobberoo]

wolfracesonic said:

brownspeed said:

keep up the good work chap, maybe we should talk further offline perhaps?

Maybe we shouldn’t.

Mmmhhhmmm, yep, I see.......

[eldar]

wolfracesonic said:

brownspeed said:

keep up the good work chap, maybe we should talk further offline perhaps?

Maybe we shouldn’t.

As far away as possible.

[Fessia fancier]

wolfracesonic said:

**Important announcement**

I’m sure, like myself you have found yourself, alone in your residence and thought to yourself
‘nice time to have a bit of private spooning time to one’s self’.

So there you are mid vortex, when you look up and sadly note a loose screw projecting from
the dining hall door hinge. What to do? Call a member of staff, go and fetch a screwdriver for
yourself? Alas, procrastination takes hold, the screw goes unattended and the door falls off causing
a fatality. But, instead of killing a family member, why not kill two birds with one stone?

Introducing the new SonicIndustries SpoonDriver™

Once again, SonicIndustries leaves our competitors trailing in our vortex, pushing the borders of
the envelope to such an extent it no longer resembles an envelope but some other sort of
stationery.
Only SonicIndustries sub- micron levels of grinding accuracy…

…can lead to such precise results…

Here we see our scanning electron microscope analysing the grain structure of our proprietary new
steel Chlamydium™. Not sure what the P is tbh, nor what ‘ums’ are but our steel has 200 of them.



So, if you would like to combine spooning with driving home screws, wait till Q3 2024 and place your
orders. If you are concerned about the finish of the spoon in the pictures, I must stress that it is a
pre production prototype and the quality of the item you receive will be nowhere near as good.
That is all.

Amazing! How many grams of Columbian marching powder can each hold?

[wolfracesonic]

Can people please stop casting aspersions re. the SpoonDriver ™. It’s a spoon that also functions as a screwdriver, that is all. Next thing you’ll be saying is that Krupp spoons are nothing but a front for the creation of a fourth Reich: honestly, stop it.

[Blib]

wolfracesonic said:

Can people please stop casting aspersions re. the SpoonDriver ™. It’s a spoon that also functions as a screwdriver, that is all. Next thing you’ll be saying is that Krupp spoons are nothing but a front for the creation of a fourth Reich: honestly, stop it.

We need more space for the people.

[dickymint]

Blib said:

wolfracesonic said:

Can people please stop casting aspersions re. the SpoonDriver ™. It’s a spoon that also functions as a screwdriver, that is all. Next thing you’ll be saying is that Krupp spoons are nothing but a front for the creation of a fourth Reich: honestly, stop it.

We need more space for the people.

You were given more space in Dresden but you whinged about it

[eharding]

wolfracesonic said:

Can people please stop casting aspersions re. the SpoonDriver ™. It’s a spoon that also functions as a screwdriver, that is all. Next thing you’ll be saying is that Krupp spoons are nothing but a front for the creation of a fourth Reich: honestly, stop it.

I'll say this only once. Nothing good will come of dabbling with attempting to create unholy abominations blending ironmongery and cutlery.

You think you're in control of the situation, but before you know it you'll have created the sort of obscenity I've linked to in the spoiler section below, and then there is no way back.

I cannot stress too strongly that the content below is of a deeply shocking and traumatic nature, and unintended viewing by those of a sensitive disposition may result in permanent injury. I saw one of these things in the flesh once, just for a few fleeting seconds, but even after several years of therapy I still wake up screaming and drenched in cold sweat from time to time.

You have been warned.



I'm referring of course to the execrable monstrosity that is the Eat’N Tool Spork



"The Eat’N Tool spork is a lightweight, high-tech, ergonomic utensil that comes with a built-in bottle opener and screwdriver on it’s own carabiner clip."

The horror....the horror.

You'll note that this....thing...also has pretensions as a hex-head wrench, but the manufacturers were threatened with a multi-billion dollar lawsuit by the Spanner Society of America, and hence the marketing blurb make no mention of it.

To add insult to injury, the "food-grade stainless steel surface" is in fact made from feedstock sourced from....well, you can have three guesses but you'll only need one....meaning this implement is liable to explosive corrosion and high velocity ballistic spalling from the lightest of usage, including at least three cases of user disembowelment when it was being employed as a bottle opener.

So there you have it young Wolfracesonic. Thus far, you have only dabbled in the Dark Side, but if you go much further the Dark Side will start dabbling back, and then all is lost.

Edited by eharding on Thursday 23 May 18:02

[21st Century Man]

Savagery and butchery.

Not good, not good at all.