Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)

[glenrobbo]

Scabutz said:

iwantagta said:

Which spice girl can hold the most petrol?

Geri can.

I like this, alot.

The Spice Girls remain tight-lipped about what they did with Mel A.

[Trophy Husband]

Two Mexican firefighters?

Hose A and Hose B.

[Trophy Husband]

Did you hear about the two gay ghosts?

Put the willies up each other.

Edited by Trophy Husband on Tuesday 8th October 10:57

[nonsequitur]

Doofus said:

nonsequitur said:

How much does a Greek urn. About ten Drachma a week. ooops.

I think you mean "What's a Greek urn?"

No. My post was correct. On the right parthenon,:and I didn't come Acropolis.

Edited by nonsequitur on Tuesday 8th October 10:56

[SpeckledJim]

nonsequitur said:

Doofus said:

nonsequitur said:

How much does a Greek urn. About ten Drachma a week. ooops.

I think you mean "What's a Greek urn?"

No. My post was correct. On the right parthenon,:and I didn't come Acropolis.

Edited by nonsequitur on Tuesday 8th October 10:56

Grecian Urn.

[Monkeylegend]

Trophy Husband said:

Did you hear about the two gay ghosts?

Put the willies up each other.

Edited by Trophy Husband on Tuesday 8th October 10:57

Or the two gay Irishmen.

Murphy Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmurphy.

[Trophy Husband]

What did the scouse Italian kid say when he got home?

"Mamma Mia!"

[john2443]

The Lancastrian yoga teacher said 'Hands on thighs'



Hans on th'eyes for the benefit of anyone who doesn't get it!

[davhill]

Monkeylegend said:

Or the two gay Irishmen.

Murphy Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmurphy.

They probably know the two gay Scots.
Ben Doon and Phil McCrevice.

[Monkeylegend]

Shamelessly stolen from MBUK website.

A man hires a hitman to kill his wife of 40 years.

"I will shoot her just below the left tit" says the hitman.

"I want her dead not effing kneecapped" replies the husband.

[A993LAD]

Monkeylegend said:

Or the two gay Irishmen.

Murphy Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmurphy.

Or two gay Scots

Ben Doon & Phil Mcaverty

[deckster]

That Ben Doon gets around. He was knocking around with Phil McCracken when I was a lad.

[Monkeylegend]

A993LAD said:

Monkeylegend said:

Or the two gay Irishmen.

Murphy Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmurphy.

Or two gay Scots

Ben Doon & Phil Mcaverty

That makes four of them

[SpeckledJim]

deckster said:

That Ben Doon gets around. He was knocking around with Phil McCracken when I was a lad.

Ben Doon is a slag. There, I said it.

[A Winner Is You]

I was about to post a joke about time travel. But none of you found it funny.

[silverfoxcc]

Old one


What does the Traffic policemans child say when he gets home?

It;s me Ma me Ma

[motco]

deckster said:

That Ben Doon gets around. He was knocking around with Phil McCracken when I was a lad.

There was a labourer in a lab I once worked in and his surname was Dover. We never discovered his real first name, he was always Ben and he never seemed to mind. I was doing some mouldings in phenolic (Bakelite) which makes lots of brittle flakes of 'flash' which get scattered all over the floor. He moaned that I was making a mess and asked why, so I said it was to ensure his job was safe. "Oh, thanks..." he said.

[Doofus]

A Winner Is You said:

I was about to post a joke about time travel. But none of you found it funny.

It was better than all the gay people jokes.

[Vipers]

A Winner Is You said:

I was about to post a joke about time travel. But none of you found it funny.

I really enjoyed it next year, well done

[silverfoxcc]

Vipers said:

A Winner Is You said:

I was about to post a joke about time travel. But none of you found it funny.

I really enjoyed it next year, well done

It was just as funny back in 1715