Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)

[nonsequitur]

Evangelion said:

And have you met the Lamp family?



They include:

Son - Ray Lamp.


and


Stan - dad Lamp.

A lightbulb moment, If ever I heard one.

[SeeFive]

nonsequitur said:

Evangelion said:

And have you met the Lamp family?



They include:

Son - Ray Lamp.


and


Stan - dad Lamp.

A lightbulb moment, If ever I heard one.

And a message to you from the Russian XR member Turnatbludiliteov.

[motco]

Evangelion said:

And have you met the Lamp family?



They include:

Son - Ray Lamp.


and


Stan - dad Lamp.

Son Ray married a Chinese girl now called See-Ling Lamp

[Sticks.]

The dinosaur with one eye - Doyathinkesaurus.

Dinosaur with one eye and a dog - Doyathinkesaurus Rex.

[Fastchas]

Russian fella with 3 testicles...Uji Nikabolokov

[glen ponder]

Horse goes in to a bar and the barman asks him about his long face

[SeeFive]

glen ponder said:

Horse goes in to a bar and the barman asks him about his long face

A white horse followed him in and the barman said “that’s a coincidence, we have a drink named after you”.

The horse replied, “what, Eric?”.

[Sticks.]

A white horse goes into a bar and the barman says

'We've got a whisky named after you'.
'What' he replied 'Eric?'.

[SeeFive]

Sticks. said:

A white horse goes into a bar and the barman says

'We've got a whisky named after you'.
'What' he replied 'Eric?'.

We were in the same bar! Must go back one day and introduce ourselves...

[Sticks.]

SeeFive said:

We were in the same bar! Must go back one day and introduce ourselves...

Great minds etc

[simoid]

glen ponder said:

Horse goes in to a bar and the barman asks him about his long face

Horse replies “wife and kids just died in a plane crash.”

[Ultra Sound Guy]

I've learned 99% of the English language, I'm almost their!

[Vipers]

Ultra Sound Guy said:

I've learned 99% of the English language, I'm almost their!

Dont bother, so many spilleng gurus on PH's

[glen ponder]

Why did the pervert cross the road...he was stuck in a chicken

[skeggysteve]

What do cheap hotels and cheap trousers have in common?




No ballroom.

[CRA1G]

I was offered a ticket for the Lord Mayor's BalI....i said don't do dancing....

But wasn't a dance....it was a raffle....!

[Lily the Pink]

And from the middle of the last century ...

Why don't worms have balls ?

Because they can't dance.

[Trophy Husband]

What did the bra say to the hat?
You go ahead I've got to give these two a lift.

[silverfoxcc]

Mrs Fox asked me to get some bacon when I was in Hackney yesterday. The cockney butchers I went in can get anything. Chap in front of me asked for panda mince

[glenrobbo]

silverfoxcc said:

Mrs Fox asked me to get some bacon when I was in Hackney yesterday. The cockney butchers I went in can get anything. Chap in front of me asked for panda mince

Gor blimey! B-b-bet it w-w-w-wasn't Chi-chi-cheap!

Edited by glenrobbo on Friday 11th October 08:44