Things you always wanted to know the answer to [Vol. 4]

[SpeckledJim]

RosscoPCole said:

Why are individual pieces of toilet paper the size they are? It is not as if one piece is any good for anything they were designed to do. Would it not be better if one piece was two or three times the length they are just now?

A proper 3am question!

[Johnspex]

HTP99 said:

popeyewhite said:

The Mad Monk said:

HTP99 said:

Farts, some are loud, some are silent, they can have different tones, why is this?

As I have got older (old), one of the things I regret most is that my farts are no longer smelly. In my youth, I could clear a bar. When on rugby trips, when I did one of my 'specials', my team mates would beg coach drivers to stop on the motorway so that they could get off the coach and get some fresh air. They were called 'coach clearers'.

Those days are now long gone, I am afraid.

I imagine your diet has changed a bit. Less beer than your rugby days?

My colleague is a big beer drinker, his farts are rancid but silent, mine are generally pretty vocal but not that smelly, I'm not a beer drinker but do like a drink (cider mainly), I do eat a fair amount of spicy food though.

Had a curry last night and I'm still farting now, loud one's but generally not particularly smelly.

You can always tell when the school holidays have started

[MartG]

SpeckledJim said:

RosscoPCole said:

Why are individual pieces of toilet paper the size they are? It is not as if one piece is any good for anything they were designed to do. Would it not be better if one piece was two or three times the length they are just now?

A proper 3am question!

It gives the individual user greater choice in the length they want to use.

If the perforations were further apart you can be sure there'd be complaints that it meant you had to use more than you needed

[bristolracer]

MartG said:

.......... that it meant you had to use more than you needed

Have you ever lived with a woman?

[4Q]

The Mad Monk said:

As I have got older (old), one of the things I regret most is that my farts are no longer smelly. In my youth, I could clear a bar. When on rugby trips, when I did one of my 'specials', my team mates would beg coach drivers to stop on the motorway so that they could get off the coach and get some fresh air. They were called 'coach clearers'.

Those days are now long gone, I am afraid.

Maybe your sense of smell is diminishing as you’re getting older?

[Frank7]

bristolracer said:

MartG said:

.......... that it meant you had to use more than you needed

Have you ever lived with a woman?

Every guy that has ever lived with a woman know exactly what you’re talking about, it is one of life’s eternal enigmas, akin to why do they say, “Does this look okay?”, no man in his right mind has ever said, “mmm, perhaps the black trousers and a leather jacket might be better.”

[fishermanpaul]

HTP99 said:

Farts, some are loud, some are silent, they can have different tones, why is this?

Same reason that loud ones tend to have less odour than quiet ones - it's to do with their pressure and that is a function of how the gas got there.
Swallowed air/fizzy drink bubbles = low odour but larger volume meaning high pressure, so louder.
Produced in the gut = much less volume, and therefore lower pressure and therefore quieter, but much smellier.

[anonymous-user]

fishermanpaul said:

HTP99 said:

Farts, some are loud, some are silent, they can have different tones, why is this?

Same reason that loud ones tend to have less odour than quiet ones - it's to do with their pressure and that is a function of how the gas got there.
Swallowed air/fizzy drink bubbles = low odour but larger volume meaning high pressure, so louder.
Produced in the gut = much less volume, and therefore lower pressure and therefore quieter, but much smellier.

And always, ALWAYS worse in the shower.

[SpeckledJim]

OpulentBob said:

fishermanpaul said:

HTP99 said:

Farts, some are loud, some are silent, they can have different tones, why is this?

Same reason that loud ones tend to have less odour than quiet ones - it's to do with their pressure and that is a function of how the gas got there.
Swallowed air/fizzy drink bubbles = low odour but larger volume meaning high pressure, so louder.
Produced in the gut = much less volume, and therefore lower pressure and therefore quieter, but much smellier.

And always, ALWAYS worse in the shower.

By which you mean 'better'.

[glenrobbo]

fishermanpaul said:

HTP99 said:

Farts, some are loud, some are silent, they can have different tones, why is this?

Same reason that loud ones tend to have less odour than quiet ones - it's to do with their pressure and that is a function of how the gas got there.
Swallowed air/fizzy drink bubbles = low odour but larger volume meaning high pressure, so louder.
Produced in the gut = much less volume, and therefore lower pressure and therefore quieter, but much smellier.

Well, that seems to have cleared the room air!

NURSE!!!

[thebraketester]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

And the velocity of the gas.

Tight = High
Lose = Low
Fast = Loud
Slow = Quiet

[popeyewhite]

OpulentBob said:

And always, ALWAYS worse in the shower.

I think the reason for this was established as moisture from the water carries the odour and actually attaches itself to the hairs on the inside of one's nostrils. So it becomes a much more 'first-hand' experience.

[glenrobbo]

4Q said:

Maybe your sense of smell is diminishing as you’re getting older?

Isn't that one of the symptoms?

[Ayahuasca]

Why is it that one’s own emissions can be a pleasure to inhale, but other people’s are disgusting?

[V8mate]

Ayahuasca said:

Why is it that one’s own emissions can be a pleasure to inhale, but other people’s are disgusting?

Can be? Can be?! ARE!

[Macroni18]

How would the world look like if it was divided into 2 parts, one for conservatives and other for liberals?
This would resolve the constant fight between conservatives/republicans vs labour/democrats. We would also come to know which of these models really work.

[nonsequitur]

RosscoPCole said:

Why are individual pieces of toilet paper the size they are? It is not as if one piece is any good for anything they were designed to do. Would it not be better if one piece was two or three times the length they are just now?

So that they fit on the holder, of course

[RizzoTheRat]

Macroni18 said:

How would the world look like if it was divided into 2 parts, one for conservatives and other for liberals?
This would resolve the constant fight between conservatives/republicans vs labour/democrats. We would also come to know which of these models really work.

Compare Ken Clarke with Tommy Robinson or Tony Blair with Jeremy Corbyn and I think they'll find plenty of things to argue about, and that's before they start arguing about religion, football, and whether to put cream on jam on a scone first.

[Clockwork Cupcake]

RizzoTheRat said:

and whether to put cream on jam on a scone first.

And, indeed, whether it is pronounced 'scone' or 'scone'.

[tertius]

Clockwork Cupcake said:

And, indeed, whether it is pronounced 'scone' or 'scone'.

Before you eat it it's pronounced scone (skown) after you eat it, it's scone (s'gon) ...