Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)
Discussion
2ZZ Top said:
GloverMart said:
Old trucker sitting in a motorway cafe enjoying his breakfast.
A bunch of hairy bikers come, one goes over to the trucker and takes a sausage from his plate.
The trucker says nothing.
Another biker walks over and takes another sausage.
The trucker says nothing.
Another biker walks over, picks up his toast, dunks it in his tea.
The trucker says nothing. Eventually the trucker leaves.
One of the bikers says to the guy behind the counter "Did you see what we did, he wasn't much of a man to say nothing"
Guy behind the counter says "He isn't much of a trucker either."
Biker says "Why do you say that?"
Guy behind the counter says, "We'll he just reversed over a bunch of bikes out there"
Copyright Smokey and the Bandit, 1977A bunch of hairy bikers come, one goes over to the trucker and takes a sausage from his plate.
The trucker says nothing.
Another biker walks over and takes another sausage.
The trucker says nothing.
Another biker walks over, picks up his toast, dunks it in his tea.
The trucker says nothing. Eventually the trucker leaves.
One of the bikers says to the guy behind the counter "Did you see what we did, he wasn't much of a man to say nothing"
Guy behind the counter says "He isn't much of a trucker either."
Biker says "Why do you say that?"
Guy behind the counter says, "We'll he just reversed over a bunch of bikes out there"
rayny said:
Ultra Sound Guy said:
Wacky Racer said:
Young girl went to the doctors with a chesty cough, so the doctor reached for his stethascope and said:-
"Right, big breaths"
"Yeth, and I'm not thixsteen yet"..
Richard Gordon, c. 1955"Right, big breaths"
"Yeth, and I'm not thixsteen yet"..
"Just a little prick with a needle"
"I know you are, but what are you going to do with it"
Joan Rivers, but it is the type of conversation that Dr Richard Sparrow could have had.
"Now, please don't be embarrassed Mr.Jones, it's quite normal to get an erection during a prostate examination"
"But I haven't got an erection, doctor???"
"No, but I have".
Man comes home and catches his wife having sex with the window cleaner, he quickly climbs off her and puts a pound coin in his pocket and winks at the man.
“What are you doing having sex with him”
“You told me too”
“No I didn’t”
“Yes you did, I asked what tip we should give him at Christmas, you said f
k him give him a pound”
“What are you doing having sex with him”
“You told me too”
“No I didn’t”
“Yes you did, I asked what tip we should give him at Christmas, you said f
k him give him a pound”SLK55AMG said:
Man comes home and catches his wife having sex with the window cleaner, he quickly climbs off her and puts a pound coin in his pocket and winks at the man.
“What are you doing having sex with him”
“You told me too”
“No I didn’t”
“Yes you did, I asked what tip we should give him at Christmas, you said fk him give him a pound”
I’m lost with who was who and who put the pound in.“What are you doing having sex with him”
“You told me too”
“No I didn’t”
“Yes you did, I asked what tip we should give him at Christmas, you said f
k him give him a pound”Don’t worry it’s just me whose retardant.
SLK55AMG said:
Man comes home and catches his wife having sex with the window cleaner, he quickly climbs off her and puts a pound coin in his pocket and winks at the man.
“What are you doing having sex with him”
“You told me too”
“No I didn’t”
“Yes you did, I asked what tip we should give him at Christmas, you said fk him give him a pound”
She is very generous, last year she did the same for the milkman “What are you doing having sex with him”
“You told me too”
“No I didn’t”
“Yes you did, I asked what tip we should give him at Christmas, you said f
k him give him a pound”
always good for a chuckle.V6 Pushfit said:
SLK55AMG said:
Man comes home and catches his wife having sex with the window cleaner, he quickly climbs off her and puts a pound coin in his pocket and winks at the man.
“What are you doing having sex with him”
“You told me too”
“No I didn’t”
“Yes you did, I asked what tip we should give him at Christmas, you said fk him give him a pound”
I’m lost with who was who and who put the pound in.“What are you doing having sex with him”
“You told me too”
“No I didn’t”
“Yes you did, I asked what tip we should give him at Christmas, you said f
k him give him a pound”Don’t worry it’s just me whose retardant.
k him give him a pound” Keep up
SLK55AMG said:
V6 Pushfit said:
SLK55AMG said:
Man comes home and catches his wife having sex with the window cleaner, he quickly climbs off her and puts a pound coin in his pocket and winks at the man.
“What are you doing having sex with him”
“You told me too”
“No I didn’t”
“Yes you did, I asked what tip we should give him at Christmas, you said fk him give him a pound”
I’m lost with who was who and who put the pound in.“What are you doing having sex with him”
“You told me too”
“No I didn’t”
“Yes you did, I asked what tip we should give him at Christmas, you said f
k him give him a pound”Don’t worry it’s just me whose retardant.
k him give him a pound” Keep up
Head has exploded.
V6 Pushfit said:
SLK55AMG said:
V6 Pushfit said:
SLK55AMG said:
Man comes home and catches his wife having sex with the window cleaner, he quickly climbs off her and puts a pound coin in his pocket and winks at the man.
“What are you doing having sex with him”
“You told me too”
“No I didn’t”
“Yes you did, I asked what tip we should give him at Christmas, you said fk him give him a pound”
I’m lost with who was who and who put the pound in.“What are you doing having sex with him”
“You told me too”
“No I didn’t”
“Yes you did, I asked what tip we should give him at Christmas, you said f
k him give him a pound”Don’t worry it’s just me whose retardant.
k him give him a pound” Keep up
Head has exploded.
f
k him (the window cleaner) give him a pound, that’s exactly what she did……..Your name isn’t roger by any chance and you live in Nottingham, chap at work doesn’t get anything either.
SLK55AMG said:
V6 Pushfit said:
SLK55AMG said:
V6 Pushfit said:
SLK55AMG said:
Man comes home and catches his wife having sex with the window cleaner, he quickly climbs off her and puts a pound coin in his pocket and winks at the man.
“What are you doing having sex with him”
“You told me too”
“No I didn’t”
“Yes you did, I asked what tip we should give him at Christmas, you said fk him give him a pound”
I’m lost with who was who and who put the pound in.“What are you doing having sex with him”
“You told me too”
“No I didn’t”
“Yes you did, I asked what tip we should give him at Christmas, you said f
k him give him a pound”Don’t worry it’s just me whose retardant.
k him give him a pound” Keep up
Head has exploded.
f
k him (the window cleaner) give him a pound, that’s exactly what she did……..Your name isn’t roger by any chance and you live in Nottingham, chap at work doesn’t get anything either.
Roger
Dildo Testing Ltd
Nottingham
Edited by anonymous-user on Thursday 14th July 20:11
V6 Pushfit said:
SLK55AMG said:
V6 Pushfit said:
SLK55AMG said:
V6 Pushfit said:
SLK55AMG said:
Man comes home and catches his wife having sex with the window cleaner, he quickly climbs off her and puts a pound coin in his pocket and winks at the man.
“What are you doing having sex with him”
“You told me too”
“No I didn’t”
“Yes you did, I asked what tip we should give him at Christmas, you said fk him give him a pound”
I’m lost with who was who and who put the pound in.“What are you doing having sex with him”
“You told me too”
“No I didn’t”
“Yes you did, I asked what tip we should give him at Christmas, you said f
k him give him a pound”Don’t worry it’s just me whose retardant.
k him give him a pound” Keep up
Head has exploded.
f
k him (the window cleaner) give him a pound, that’s exactly what she did……..Your name isn’t roger by any chance and you live in Nottingham, chap at work doesn’t get anything either.
Roger
Dildo Testing Ltd
Nottingham
Edited by V6 Pushfit on Thursday 14th July 20:11
SLK55AMG said:
V6 Pushfit said:
SLK55AMG said:
V6 Pushfit said:
SLK55AMG said:
V6 Pushfit said:
SLK55AMG said:
Man comes home and catches his wife having sex with the window cleaner, he quickly climbs off her and puts a pound coin in his pocket and winks at the man.
“What are you doing having sex with him”
“You told me too”
“No I didn’t”
“Yes you did, I asked what tip we should give him at Christmas, you said fk him give him a pound”
I’m lost with who was who and who put the pound in.“What are you doing having sex with him”
“You told me too”
“No I didn’t”
“Yes you did, I asked what tip we should give him at Christmas, you said f
k him give him a pound”Don’t worry it’s just me whose retardant.
k him give him a pound” Keep up
Head has exploded.
f
k him (the window cleaner) give him a pound, that’s exactly what she did……..Your name isn’t roger by any chance and you live in Nottingham, chap at work doesn’t get anything either.
Roger
Dildo Testing Ltd
Nottingham
Edited by anonymous-user on Thursday 14th July 20:11
See you at the office tomorrow
Edited by anonymous-user on Friday 15th July 15:58
Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a cat!”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a cat!”
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