Match.com (Vol. 7)
Discussion
trackdemon said:
interstellar said:
hmm that doesnt help.
Oi, that's future Mrs P, the one you're talking about 
I'm not actually looking for anyone as I'm perfectly happy in my new place with my new group of friends. However there's times when waking up next to someone is lovely, going to the cinema/theatre/events etc, cute msg's here and there. There's no more future Mrs P.
I've never posted on here but I had a brutal breakup around 5 months ago. I was in a secure and loving relationship with an amazing woman, we were about to move in and were planning our future but unfortunately, a drunken fight and her brother caused us to break up.
I tried dating casually 3 months after the breakup and my first match on a dating app I was able to meet someone really good and start a casual relationship. I was emotionally unavailable and I disliked every part of it, on the other hand, she was really into me which in itself is a major red flag. I decided to end it as I needed to heal.
Now 2 months later I feel better and more emotionally available and as predicted the matches are drying up. Sod's law, right?
I tried dating casually 3 months after the breakup and my first match on a dating app I was able to meet someone really good and start a casual relationship. I was emotionally unavailable and I disliked every part of it, on the other hand, she was really into me which in itself is a major red flag. I decided to end it as I needed to heal.
Now 2 months later I feel better and more emotionally available and as predicted the matches are drying up. Sod's law, right?
Motoring12345 said:
I've never posted on here but I had a brutal breakup around 5 months ago. I was in a secure and loving relationship with an amazing woman, we were about to move in and were planning our future but unfortunately, a drunken fight and her brother caused us to break up.
I tried dating casually 3 months after the breakup and my first match on a dating app I was able to meet someone really good and start a casual relationship. I was emotionally unavailable and I disliked every part of it, on the other hand, she was really into me which in itself is a major red flag. I decided to end it as I needed to heal.
Now 2 months later I feel better and more emotionally available and as predicted the matches are drying up. Sod's law, right?
OLD is a numbers game. Cast your net far and cast it wide. You'll snag some pearls amongst the swine. Go for numbers. Big ones. I tried dating casually 3 months after the breakup and my first match on a dating app I was able to meet someone really good and start a casual relationship. I was emotionally unavailable and I disliked every part of it, on the other hand, she was really into me which in itself is a major red flag. I decided to end it as I needed to heal.
Now 2 months later I feel better and more emotionally available and as predicted the matches are drying up. Sod's law, right?
CharlesdeGaulle said:
Motoring12345 said:
I've never posted on here but I had a brutal breakup around 5 months ago. I was in a secure and loving relationship with an amazing woman, we were about to move in and were planning our future but unfortunately, a drunken fight and her brother caused us to break up.
I tried dating casually 3 months after the breakup and my first match on a dating app I was able to meet someone really good and start a casual relationship. I was emotionally unavailable and I disliked every part of it, on the other hand, she was really into me which in itself is a major red flag. I decided to end it as I needed to heal.
Now 2 months later I feel better and more emotionally available and as predicted the matches are drying up. Sod's law, right?
OLD is a numbers game. Cast your net far and cast it wide. You'll snag some pearls amongst the swine. Go for numbers. Big ones. I tried dating casually 3 months after the breakup and my first match on a dating app I was able to meet someone really good and start a casual relationship. I was emotionally unavailable and I disliked every part of it, on the other hand, she was really into me which in itself is a major red flag. I decided to end it as I needed to heal.
Now 2 months later I feel better and more emotionally available and as predicted the matches are drying up. Sod's law, right?
Motoring something happened and you're not over it. Cast your net and get over her quickly. Some true advice - I couldn't believe how quickly an ex moved on from me after I ended it - I bumped into her in a bar in Christchurch and asked how she was - she replied "I don't get over people, I get under them" - and fair play the owner took her back
Petrus1983 said:
CharlesdeGaulle said:
Motoring12345 said:
I've never posted on here but I had a brutal breakup around 5 months ago. I was in a secure and loving relationship with an amazing woman, we were about to move in and were planning our future but unfortunately, a drunken fight and her brother caused us to break up.
I tried dating casually 3 months after the breakup and my first match on a dating app I was able to meet someone really good and start a casual relationship. I was emotionally unavailable and I disliked every part of it, on the other hand, she was really into me which in itself is a major red flag. I decided to end it as I needed to heal.
Now 2 months later I feel better and more emotionally available and as predicted the matches are drying up. Sod's law, right?
OLD is a numbers game. Cast your net far and cast it wide. You'll snag some pearls amongst the swine. Go for numbers. Big ones. I tried dating casually 3 months after the breakup and my first match on a dating app I was able to meet someone really good and start a casual relationship. I was emotionally unavailable and I disliked every part of it, on the other hand, she was really into me which in itself is a major red flag. I decided to end it as I needed to heal.
Now 2 months later I feel better and more emotionally available and as predicted the matches are drying up. Sod's law, right?
Motoring something happened and you're not over it. Cast your net and get over her quickly. Some true advice - I couldn't believe how quickly an ex moved on from me after I ended it - I bumped into her in a bar in Christchurch and asked how she was - she replied "I don't get over people, I get under them" - and fair play the owner took her back
I understand people have different coping mechanisms and I personally know she was in a rough place after the breakup the fight we had was extremely brutal and I said a lot of hurtful things, however, the news about the rebound really f
ked up my healing. It's always the ones that chase you and shower you with love and affection that end up moving fast.
Edited by Motoring12345 on Tuesday 14th May 19:58
Motoring12345 said:
Unfortunately, she moved on very quickly as well, wasn't as savage and she tried to keep it away from me but eventually told me she was seeing someone and apologised.
I understand people have different coping mechanisms and I personally know she was in a rough place after the breakup the fight we had was extremely brutal and I said a lot of hurtful things, however, the news about the rebound really fked up my healing.
It's always the ones that chase you and shower you with love and affection that end up moving fast.
I'm kinda new here, certainly don't have a reputation. I understand people have different coping mechanisms and I personally know she was in a rough place after the breakup the fight we had was extremely brutal and I said a lot of hurtful things, however, the news about the rebound really f
ked up my healing. It's always the ones that chase you and shower you with love and affection that end up moving fast.
Edited by Motoring12345 on Tuesday 14th May 19:58
But if I did - you need a few more beers with friends, a few harmless dates where you get to talk to new girls.
For me, going into a date thinking of what happened before (this goes both ways btw) never works. Either go in with baggage looking forwards to a random night out, or a clean slate and anything can happen:
But, I don't know much.
Petrus1983 said:
Motoring12345 said:
Unfortunately, she moved on very quickly as well, wasn't as savage and she tried to keep it away from me but eventually told me she was seeing someone and apologised.
I understand people have different coping mechanisms and I personally know she was in a rough place after the breakup the fight we had was extremely brutal and I said a lot of hurtful things, however, the news about the rebound really fked up my healing.
It's always the ones that chase you and shower you with love and affection that end up moving fast.
I'm kinda new here, certainly don't have a reputation. I understand people have different coping mechanisms and I personally know she was in a rough place after the breakup the fight we had was extremely brutal and I said a lot of hurtful things, however, the news about the rebound really f
ked up my healing. It's always the ones that chase you and shower you with love and affection that end up moving fast.
Edited by Motoring12345 on Tuesday 14th May 19:58
But if I did - you need a few more beers with friends, a few harmless dates where you get to talk to new girls.
For me, going into a date thinking of what happened before (this goes both ways btw) never works. Either go in with baggage looking forwards to a random night out, or a clean slate and anything can happen:
But, I don't know much.
king heartbroken because I had it all and I fked it up. That's the main issue. I'm in therapy and I'm going through the pain and all the emotions so I can be present and take away the right lessons. I had an amazing 2.5 years with my ex and I will cherish the memories. Fermit said:
Petrus1983 said:
PAUL.S. said:
When they insist of paying it normally means I find they have already decided there is not going to be a second date and feel guilty for stringing you along.
Normally I'd agree but no chance this time. Not knocking the guy but he does set himself up for a fall quite often.
PAUL.S. said:
Really!? How many now have been the "one", planning houses and kids together within weeks of meeting them, already this one has been quite deceitful, what else is going to come out in the wash.
Not knocking the guy but he does set himself up for a fall quite often.
I'm usually with people for a while before sharing it on a forum. But yeah - in the past it's happened. I don't recall ever planning living with someone apart from someone who was living with her parents and had no kids. Not knocking the guy but he does set himself up for a fall quite often.
Petrus1983 said:
CharlesdeGaulle said:
OK chum, but you of all people know that you don't find 'the one' by dating 'one'.
How do you find them without dating them first?Eta - chum is kinda derogatory- FYI.
And I'm sorry if my attempt at online friendliness came across badly; 'chum' was intended as a jovial label along the lines of 'mate' but less Council. I won't repeat it.
CharlesdeGaulle said:
That's kind of my point. It's a numbers game, so back to my original point.
And I'm sorry if my attempt at online friendliness came across badly; 'chum' was intended as a jovial label along the lines of 'mate' but less Council. I won't repeat it.
And I'm sorry if my attempt at online friendliness came across badly; 'chum' was intended as a jovial label along the lines of 'mate' but less Council. I won't repeat it.
My bad. I've just moved somewhere where people were calling me "butt" and I didn't know what I'd done wrong - I didn't know it was the same as saying buddy
No offense taken.
I think it's a numbers game but following on from a long post on the last page I'm going to see if I can also shed some light onto success/ failure.
Petrus1983 said:
PAUL.S. said:
Really!? How many now have been the "one", planning houses and kids together within weeks of meeting them, already this one has been quite deceitful, what else is going to come out in the wash.
Not knocking the guy but he does set himself up for a fall quite often.
I'm usually with people for a while before sharing it on a forum. But yeah - in the past it's happened. I don't recall ever planning living with someone apart from someone who was living with her parents and had no kids. Not knocking the guy but he does set himself up for a fall quite often.
I have no plans to trawl the thread for such revelations, but many others also recall all this, some suggested you were a Walter Mitty type character, however I thought you were just quite open on here and naive maybe about revealing your experiences to what is quite a harsh audience at times.
At the end of the day none of us want to be going through this process, purely a means to an end, and it can be good to have a rant to an understanding group who are also having similar experiences and realising its not just us dealing with some of the weirdness in the dating pool.
Oh just remembered the pair of lesbians story and a cosy night in by the fire with the two of them..........
Edited by PAUL.S. on Tuesday 14th May 21:57
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