LADIES! Women on sunbeds - what do they wear?
Discussion
lord summerisle said:
Legend83 said:
My missus has never been on a sunbed but wants to get a bit of colour before the wedding.
blimey lad, you still not got hitched? i remember helping you source the engament ring, back in the distant past when all this was just fields! :lol:9 days to go now chaps. Then the sex stops and the golf begins.
Soovy said:
Neil_H said:
Ayahuasca said:
Ever noticed how willies are brown-ish anyway. What's that all about?
You're putting it in the wrong hole...He ended up back at hers, and after a bit of drunken fumbling they went upstairs into her darkened bedroom where the fumbling continued while they drunkenly undressed.
Once in bed, she went to climb on top of him, and he had a “moment of clarity” and guilt took over. He stopped her, and said “I can’t do this, I’m sorry. I can’t. I love Liz too much, and I can’t do this to her.”
The girl was disappointed, but offered to “pull him off anyway”. Seeing nothing wrong with this, he agreed, and settled back as she got a big blob of moisturiser from a bottle on the bedside table. She proceeded to give him a glorious handjob, and he fell asleep.
He awoke the next morning with a massive hangover, and realising what he’d done put his clothes on and left. Once he got home he immediately put his clothes in the weashing machine and went upstairs for a hot shower. Only when in the bathroom did he notice that his c0ck was GLARING BRIGHT ORANGE. Silly cow had pulled him off with self tan lotion. Despite scrubbing for an hour he could not shift it.
His girlfriend came back, and he had to think of TWO WEEKS of excuses for her not to get sight of his kipper. He also had to try not to blush bright red when he saw the girl in the office with a matching bright orange right hand.
You have been warned.
Edited by Soovy on Wednesday 29th July 10:29
Soovy said:
I have a mate who has been living with his girlfriend for five years. Recently she went away on business, and he was home alone. He went drinking with his work buddies, and while he was there got smashed and ended up snogging a girl from the office who had fancied him for ages and saw her chance while his missus was away.
He ended up back at hers, and after a bit of drunken fumbling they went upstairs into her darkened bedroom where the fumbling continued while they drunkenly undressed.
Once in bed, she went to climb on top of him, and he had a “moment of clarity” and guilt took over. He stopped her, and said “I can’t do this, I’m sorry. I can’t. I love Liz too much, and I can’t do this to her.”
The girl was disappointed, but offered to “pull him off anyway”. Seeing nothing wrong with this, he agreed, and settled back as she got a big blob of moisturiser from a bottle on the bedside table. She proceeded to give him a glorious handjob, and he fell asleep.
He awoke the next morning with a massive hangover, and realising what he’d done put his clothes on and left. Once he got home he immediately put his clothes in the weashing machine and went upstairs for a hot shower. Only when in the bathroom did he notice that his c0ck was GLARING BRIGHT ORANGE. Silly cow had pulled him off with self tan lotion. Despite scrubbing for an hour he could not shift it.
His girlfriend came back, and he had to think of TWO WEEKS of excuses for her not to get sight of his kipper. He also had to try not to blush bright red when he saw the girl in the office with a matching bright orange right hand.
You have been warned.
Accident, my arse.He ended up back at hers, and after a bit of drunken fumbling they went upstairs into her darkened bedroom where the fumbling continued while they drunkenly undressed.
Once in bed, she went to climb on top of him, and he had a “moment of clarity” and guilt took over. He stopped her, and said “I can’t do this, I’m sorry. I can’t. I love Liz too much, and I can’t do this to her.”
The girl was disappointed, but offered to “pull him off anyway”. Seeing nothing wrong with this, he agreed, and settled back as she got a big blob of moisturiser from a bottle on the bedside table. She proceeded to give him a glorious handjob, and he fell asleep.
He awoke the next morning with a massive hangover, and realising what he’d done put his clothes on and left. Once he got home he immediately put his clothes in the weashing machine and went upstairs for a hot shower. Only when in the bathroom did he notice that his c0ck was GLARING BRIGHT ORANGE. Silly cow had pulled him off with self tan lotion. Despite scrubbing for an hour he could not shift it.
His girlfriend came back, and he had to think of TWO WEEKS of excuses for her not to get sight of his kipper. He also had to try not to blush bright red when he saw the girl in the office with a matching bright orange right hand.
You have been warned.
Those are the action of a woman scorned.
"a girl from the office who had fancied him for ages" finally gets her chance to entice him away from his OH. He plays along then bottles it, effectively humiliating her.
So, if he won't consumate their relationship, she decides he doesn't deserve anyone at all.
Cue retribution.
V8mate said:
Soovy said:
I have a mate who has been living with his girlfriend for five years. Recently she went away on business, and he was home alone. He went drinking with his work buddies, and while he was there got smashed and ended up snogging a girl from the office who had fancied him for ages and saw her chance while his missus was away.
He ended up back at hers, and after a bit of drunken fumbling they went upstairs into her darkened bedroom where the fumbling continued while they drunkenly undressed.
Once in bed, she went to climb on top of him, and he had a “moment of clarity” and guilt took over. He stopped her, and said “I can’t do this, I’m sorry. I can’t. I love Liz too much, and I can’t do this to her.”
The girl was disappointed, but offered to “pull him off anyway”. Seeing nothing wrong with this, he agreed, and settled back as she got a big blob of moisturiser from a bottle on the bedside table. She proceeded to give him a glorious handjob, and he fell asleep.
He awoke the next morning with a massive hangover, and realising what he’d done put his clothes on and left. Once he got home he immediately put his clothes in the weashing machine and went upstairs for a hot shower. Only when in the bathroom did he notice that his c0ck was GLARING BRIGHT ORANGE. Silly cow had pulled him off with self tan lotion. Despite scrubbing for an hour he could not shift it.
His girlfriend came back, and he had to think of TWO WEEKS of excuses for her not to get sight of his kipper. He also had to try not to blush bright red when he saw the girl in the office with a matching bright orange right hand.
You have been warned.
Accident, my arse.He ended up back at hers, and after a bit of drunken fumbling they went upstairs into her darkened bedroom where the fumbling continued while they drunkenly undressed.
Once in bed, she went to climb on top of him, and he had a “moment of clarity” and guilt took over. He stopped her, and said “I can’t do this, I’m sorry. I can’t. I love Liz too much, and I can’t do this to her.”
The girl was disappointed, but offered to “pull him off anyway”. Seeing nothing wrong with this, he agreed, and settled back as she got a big blob of moisturiser from a bottle on the bedside table. She proceeded to give him a glorious handjob, and he fell asleep.
He awoke the next morning with a massive hangover, and realising what he’d done put his clothes on and left. Once he got home he immediately put his clothes in the weashing machine and went upstairs for a hot shower. Only when in the bathroom did he notice that his c0ck was GLARING BRIGHT ORANGE. Silly cow had pulled him off with self tan lotion. Despite scrubbing for an hour he could not shift it.
His girlfriend came back, and he had to think of TWO WEEKS of excuses for her not to get sight of his kipper. He also had to try not to blush bright red when he saw the girl in the office with a matching bright orange right hand.
You have been warned.
Those are the action of a woman scorned.
"a girl from the office who had fancied him for ages" finally gets her chance to entice him away from his OH. He plays along then bottles it, effectively humiliating her.
So, if he won't consumate their relationship, she decides he doesn't deserve anyone at all.
Cue retribution.
V8mate said:
Accident, my arse.
Those are the action of a woman scorned.
"a girl from the office who had fancied him for ages" finally gets her chance to entice him away from his OH. He plays along then bottles it, effectively humiliating her.
So, if he won't consumate their relationship, she decides he doesn't deserve anyone at all.
Cue retribution.
Those are the action of a woman scorned.
"a girl from the office who had fancied him for ages" finally gets her chance to entice him away from his OH. He plays along then bottles it, effectively humiliating her.
So, if he won't consumate their relationship, she decides he doesn't deserve anyone at all.
Cue retribution.
V8mate said:
Soovy said:
I have a mate who has been living with his girlfriend for five years. Recently she went away on business, and he was home alone. He went drinking with his work buddies, and while he was there got smashed and ended up snogging a girl from the office who had fancied him for ages and saw her chance while his missus was away.
He ended up back at hers, and after a bit of drunken fumbling they went upstairs into her darkened bedroom where the fumbling continued while they drunkenly undressed.
Once in bed, she went to climb on top of him, and he had a “moment of clarity” and guilt took over. He stopped her, and said “I can’t do this, I’m sorry. I can’t. I love Liz too much, and I can’t do this to her.”
The girl was disappointed, but offered to “pull him off anyway”. Seeing nothing wrong with this, he agreed, and settled back as she got a big blob of moisturiser from a bottle on the bedside table. She proceeded to give him a glorious handjob, and he fell asleep.
He awoke the next morning with a massive hangover, and realising what he’d done put his clothes on and left. Once he got home he immediately put his clothes in the weashing machine and went upstairs for a hot shower. Only when in the bathroom did he notice that his c0ck was GLARING BRIGHT ORANGE. Silly cow had pulled him off with self tan lotion. Despite scrubbing for an hour he could not shift it.
His girlfriend came back, and he had to think of TWO WEEKS of excuses for her not to get sight of his kipper. He also had to try not to blush bright red when he saw the girl in the office with a matching bright orange right hand.
You have been warned.
Accident, my arse.He ended up back at hers, and after a bit of drunken fumbling they went upstairs into her darkened bedroom where the fumbling continued while they drunkenly undressed.
Once in bed, she went to climb on top of him, and he had a “moment of clarity” and guilt took over. He stopped her, and said “I can’t do this, I’m sorry. I can’t. I love Liz too much, and I can’t do this to her.”
The girl was disappointed, but offered to “pull him off anyway”. Seeing nothing wrong with this, he agreed, and settled back as she got a big blob of moisturiser from a bottle on the bedside table. She proceeded to give him a glorious handjob, and he fell asleep.
He awoke the next morning with a massive hangover, and realising what he’d done put his clothes on and left. Once he got home he immediately put his clothes in the weashing machine and went upstairs for a hot shower. Only when in the bathroom did he notice that his c0ck was GLARING BRIGHT ORANGE. Silly cow had pulled him off with self tan lotion. Despite scrubbing for an hour he could not shift it.
His girlfriend came back, and he had to think of TWO WEEKS of excuses for her not to get sight of his kipper. He also had to try not to blush bright red when he saw the girl in the office with a matching bright orange right hand.
You have been warned.
Those are the action of a woman scorned.
"a girl from the office who had fancied him for ages" finally gets her chance to entice him away from his OH. He plays along then bottles it, effectively humiliating her.
So, if he won't consumate their relationship, she decides he doesn't deserve anyone at all.
Cue retribution.
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