Marriage, How much is she worth?
Discussion
Just read yet another thread regarding a marriage heading for the rocks.
I can't help think that some people need marriage guidance before they anter a relationship. I also can't help think that I have a vastly different idea about what marriage is than most of the people who post on here.
For a start if your wife pays you rent to stay in your house, she is a lodger, not a wife, and you have no business calling it a marriage.
If you are married to someone its because you have effectively allowed them to become a part of your life, the good bits and the bad bits, and than includes the bank account. If she divorces you one day after the marriage, she still owns half your wealth, and you own half of hers.
Going into a marriage where one partner owns all the money and all the assets and the other partner just brings their charm is simply a parent child dependancy relationship. If with that knowledge the two parties still decide its love than they should still be regarded as equal partners in the assets once married.
I just don't understand the whole retrospectively deciding how much one person contributed. Simply don't get married, and stop pretending that you are.
I can't help think that some people need marriage guidance before they anter a relationship. I also can't help think that I have a vastly different idea about what marriage is than most of the people who post on here.
For a start if your wife pays you rent to stay in your house, she is a lodger, not a wife, and you have no business calling it a marriage.
If you are married to someone its because you have effectively allowed them to become a part of your life, the good bits and the bad bits, and than includes the bank account. If she divorces you one day after the marriage, she still owns half your wealth, and you own half of hers.
Going into a marriage where one partner owns all the money and all the assets and the other partner just brings their charm is simply a parent child dependancy relationship. If with that knowledge the two parties still decide its love than they should still be regarded as equal partners in the assets once married.
I just don't understand the whole retrospectively deciding how much one person contributed. Simply don't get married, and stop pretending that you are.
It's easy saying all that in hindsight though, isn't it?
I'm pretty sure anyone thats marriage is on the rocks, thinking about splitting assets, etc didn't for one minute think the marriage wouldn't last so who in their right mind would go to marriage counselling before they even got married?
And when they do split i think it's entirely reasonable to think of their own interests.
I'm pretty sure anyone thats marriage is on the rocks, thinking about splitting assets, etc didn't for one minute think the marriage wouldn't last so who in their right mind would go to marriage counselling before they even got married?
And when they do split i think it's entirely reasonable to think of their own interests.
boyse7en said:
I don't get why people get married at all.
Been with my partner 23 years, two kids, don't see any reason to get married.
You will do if one of you ends up insensible in a care home/coma/dead and the legal wranglings of not being married arise, I know it's a small chance and a terrible thing to think of but such a circumstance has caused people problems in the past.Been with my partner 23 years, two kids, don't see any reason to get married.
I wish I'd known I was signing half my house away when I got married. It wouldn't have made any difference to the marriage, but it would have made the divorce much easier to cope with.
I'm still hugely resentful that the registrar can sign you up without even hinting at the small print. No one I knew had been divorced until I was, and it all came as something of a shock.
If differential financial status puts you off marrying someone then you shouldn't be getting married anyway. Its supposed to be romantic.
I'm still hugely resentful that the registrar can sign you up without even hinting at the small print. No one I knew had been divorced until I was, and it all came as something of a shock.
If differential financial status puts you off marrying someone then you shouldn't be getting married anyway. Its supposed to be romantic.
Axionknight said:
boyse7en said:
I don't get why people get married at all.
Been with my partner 23 years, two kids, don't see any reason to get married.
You will do if one of you ends up insensible in a care home/coma/dead and the legal wranglings of not being married arise, I know it's a small chance and a terrible thing to think of but such a circumstance has caused people problems in the past.Been with my partner 23 years, two kids, don't see any reason to get married.
Captain Muppet said:
I wish I'd known I was signing half my house away when I got married. It wouldn't have made any difference to the marriage, but it would have made the divorce much easier to cope with.
I find it weird that anyone getting married would not realise that? In fact if living together and not married she'd still usually get a fair bit of of it if you split up.Re the OP's rent comment, when my then girlfiend moved in I already owned the house, so it made sense for her just to transfer what she was paying in rent to me towards the mortgage, I suppose it could be seen as her paying rent but it just seemed a simple solution. We were going to get a joint account when we got married but she pays less tax than me so I just transferred a load of savings in to her name If/when we have kids a joint account would probably make life simpler though.
boyse7en said:
I don't get why people get married at all.
Been with my partner 23 years, two kids, don't see any reason to get married.
After 15 years I got fed up with the hints and proposed Been with my partner 23 years, two kids, don't see any reason to get married.
Edited by RizzoTheRat on Friday 4th September 15:39
RizzoTheRat said:
After 15 years I got fed up with the hints and proposed
We have been together for just over five years, no kids as of yet and the hints do keep rolling in, I'm holding out for a full decade though - there is no rush.Edited by RizzoTheRat on Friday 4th September 15:39
Lest I end up in the care home ETC, but I'll take my chances at 27 years old.
RizzoTheRat said:
Re the OP's rent comment, when my then girlfiend moved in I already owned the house, so it made sense for her just to transfer what she was paying in rent to me towards the mortgage, I suppose it could be seen as her paying rent but it just seemed a simple solution.
No, it would be seen as her contributing to the mortgage and as such being able to demonstrate having a beneficial interest in the property so if a split had happened it would have cost you.Captain Muppet said:
I wish I'd known I was signing half my house away when I got married. It wouldn't have made any difference to the marriage, but it would have made the divorce much easier to cope with.
I'm still hugely resentful that the registrar can sign you up without even hinting at the small print. No one I knew had been divorced until I was, and it all came as something of a shock.
If differential financial status puts you off marrying someone then you shouldn't be getting married anyway. Its supposed to be romantic.
Only half. You lucky bugger I'm still hugely resentful that the registrar can sign you up without even hinting at the small print. No one I knew had been divorced until I was, and it all came as something of a shock.
If differential financial status puts you off marrying someone then you shouldn't be getting married anyway. Its supposed to be romantic.
CaptainSlow said:
RizzoTheRat said:
Re the OP's rent comment, when my then girlfiend moved in I already owned the house, so it made sense for her just to transfer what she was paying in rent to me towards the mortgage, I suppose it could be seen as her paying rent but it just seemed a simple solution.
No, it would be seen as her contributing to the mortgage and as such being able to demonstrate having a beneficial interest in the property so if a split had happened it would have cost you.garyhun said:
RizzoTheRat said:
In fact if living together and not married she'd still usually get a fair bit of of it if you split up.
Why do people make this stuff up?Edited by RizzoTheRat on Friday 4th September 16:01
julian64 said:
Just read yet another thread regarding a marriage heading for the rocks.
I can't help think that some people need marriage guidance before they anter a relationship. I also can't help think that I have a vastly different idea about what marriage is than most of the people who post on here.
For a start if your wife pays you rent to stay in your house, she is a lodger, not a wife, and you have no business calling it a marriage.
If you are married to someone its because you have effectively allowed them to become a part of your life, the good bits and the bad bits, and than includes the bank account. If she divorces you one day after the marriage, she still owns half your wealth, and you own half of hers.
Going into a marriage where one partner owns all the money and all the assets and the other partner just brings their charm is simply a parent child dependancy relationship. If with that knowledge the two parties still decide its love than they should still be regarded as equal partners in the assets once married.
I just don't understand the whole retrospectively deciding how much one person contributed. Simply don't get married, and stop pretending that you are.
Never been divorced have you I can't help think that some people need marriage guidance before they anter a relationship. I also can't help think that I have a vastly different idea about what marriage is than most of the people who post on here.
For a start if your wife pays you rent to stay in your house, she is a lodger, not a wife, and you have no business calling it a marriage.
If you are married to someone its because you have effectively allowed them to become a part of your life, the good bits and the bad bits, and than includes the bank account. If she divorces you one day after the marriage, she still owns half your wealth, and you own half of hers.
Going into a marriage where one partner owns all the money and all the assets and the other partner just brings their charm is simply a parent child dependancy relationship. If with that knowledge the two parties still decide its love than they should still be regarded as equal partners in the assets once married.
I just don't understand the whole retrospectively deciding how much one person contributed. Simply don't get married, and stop pretending that you are.
RizzoTheRat said:
Captain Muppet said:
I wish I'd known I was signing half my house away when I got married. It wouldn't have made any difference to the marriage, but it would have made the divorce much easier to cope with.
I find it weird that anyone getting married would not realise that? In fact if living together and not married she'd still usually get a fair bit of of it if you split up.Also, lived together with joint mortgage, not married, split and OH wanted house, pensions etc etc, again as not married, house was split 50/50 but all my private stuff was mine. And she had a very expensive solicitor to advise her of this crap!!!
RizzoTheRat said:
Captain Muppet said:
I wish I'd known I was signing half my house away when I got married. It wouldn't have made any difference to the marriage, but it would have made the divorce much easier to cope with.
I find it weird that anyone getting married would not realise that?Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff