The PH thread of things you don't say to your missus.

[Papa Hotel]

Well, the missus made a joke earlier, she had a little laugh about how my penis could be bigger.

I rejected her joke, I said "it isn't small, you just have a fanny like a bucket."

Looking back, it wasn't the best quip I could have made. She's nice and quiet now though.

[Papa Hotel]

Famous Graham said:

You've been reading Cyanide and Happiness, haven't you

Not recently, but that's the next hour sorted while these pricks drive around behind the safety car.

[Papa Hotel]

Oh, when you've been on Sickipedia and just told your missus a load of Adele fat jokes, don't say "eh... yeah, I suppose so" when she says "some people have said I look a bit like her."

[Papa Hotel]

Ah, another one from me.

Her: Oh, I wish I had a figure like that. (pointing at some stunning German bird)
Me: No, she's too skinny, I like how you're not skinny like that.
Her: I'm fat?

[Papa Hotel]

Cock Womble 7 said:

In a similar vein, when conversation with your new, first wife comes around to the minefield of a question that is "How many women have you slept with before?" do not reply with:

"I think you're number thirteen."

Or even better, count "one, two, three, four, five, you, seven, eight, nine. Oh, are we counting prossies too?"

[Papa Hotel]

Another one from me last night as I was drifting off to sleep.

Her: Papa Hotel, when are you going to shave? You're so hairy.
Me: Aye... Can you lift your legs off me?

So I wake up this morning to Silent & Moody Mrs Papa Hotel, it seems I made.fun of her "hairy legs."

Beware chaps, even the most innocent of comments will have repercussions.

[Papa Hotel]

OdramaSwimLaden said:

"Ok, Ok, Ok......you can come to the strip club"........................anyone who's made this mistake knows why.

If you haven't made it yet; don't.

I've had my missus in a strip club before. Actually, a few different establishments in Germany where it all comes off on stage. Got her a private dance too, she was enthralled by the abilities of the women.

I'll just say this was one folly that worked in my favour.