Marriage is Over....
Discussion
Ok so cutting to the chase it looks like my marriage of 10 years is over (we've been together much longer). A bit of background but about 2 years ago my Mrs announced that she doesn't love me anymore (yep that ole chestnut). She was not in a good place at the time though and was diagnosed with depression which was suppressed somewhat by counselling and medication. Even though I thought we'd addressed the issues with respect to her feelings towards me the old demons have been resurrected and this week she announced that she still feels the same way and would be happier if we split.... Great. To say I am gutted is an understatement, the last 2 years have been a real emotional roller coaster and to be honest I really don't know where things have gone wrong. We have 2 great kids, she wants for nothing etc etc.
I've been as supportive as I can throughout her health problems and since the second bombshell was dropped I have remained calm, collected and in control (although inside I am in turmoil). I don't want her to go and have told her as much and think we can work things out if she is willing but I'm not going to beg her to stay, nor pander to her but will support her however way I can. I really think her depression is rearing it's ugly head again but maybe I am kidding myself. However, she is adamant that this is it and doesn't see the point in seeking any professional help with the relationship which I think is disappointing... Nothing much has changed though on the surface in the last few days as we are both still in the family home and bizarrely still sharing a bed.
I know that a number of PH'ers have found themselves in a similar position so what's the best course of action for me now with respect to the kids, house etc etc. I'm not looking to rip her off nor her me but if the inevitable happens which is looking increasingly likely I will need to get things sorted asap and I want to keep things squeaky clean and above board. I am trying to carry on as normal and resisted the temptation to disappear for a couple of days to give her some space because she wants to leave me and I think she needs to make the first move.... Any advice, thoughts appreciated cos there's no manual for this and I'm properly confused
I know I probably need to MTFU, nuke her from orbit and throw cans of redbull but maybe that will come later....
I've been as supportive as I can throughout her health problems and since the second bombshell was dropped I have remained calm, collected and in control (although inside I am in turmoil). I don't want her to go and have told her as much and think we can work things out if she is willing but I'm not going to beg her to stay, nor pander to her but will support her however way I can. I really think her depression is rearing it's ugly head again but maybe I am kidding myself. However, she is adamant that this is it and doesn't see the point in seeking any professional help with the relationship which I think is disappointing... Nothing much has changed though on the surface in the last few days as we are both still in the family home and bizarrely still sharing a bed.
I know that a number of PH'ers have found themselves in a similar position so what's the best course of action for me now with respect to the kids, house etc etc. I'm not looking to rip her off nor her me but if the inevitable happens which is looking increasingly likely I will need to get things sorted asap and I want to keep things squeaky clean and above board. I am trying to carry on as normal and resisted the temptation to disappear for a couple of days to give her some space because she wants to leave me and I think she needs to make the first move.... Any advice, thoughts appreciated cos there's no manual for this and I'm properly confused
I know I probably need to MTFU, nuke her from orbit and throw cans of redbull but maybe that will come later....
Guys, firstly many thanks for all the replies cynical or not 
Re: the comments about infidelity. I have known this woman for about 25 years and we've been together along time. Before I even broached the subject of someone else being involved I knew the answer was No. She looked me in the eye and told me this was about her feelings towards me and there isn't some other bloke involved that's re-lit her fire. I believe her.
The actual D word has not been mentioned just that she feels she would be happier living separately. In her plan she wants to move out of the family home and live elsewhere. She is not a gold digger (never been a spender) and I'd like to think we can both work things out without going all-out 'legal'
Kids - these 2 most precious people must remain our priority. A view that is absolutely supported by my wife. I would never use them as a bargaining tool or otherwise try and turn them against their Mother. I believe she will do the same.
Depression - it's difficult to put this into words but 2 years ago she was in a very dark place. She would literally run away from things, was very weepy, didn't want to interact with others and was signed off work for 3 months. She wasn't really well at all and although the words she uttered cut deep and I could've instigated things to protect myself she needed my help and support. Which she received.
Other points to consider - she says she doesn't love me and can't have a physical relationship with me yet in the last few months we have spent some real Q.time together with weekends away, a couple of big nights out which have been great
. My confusion is that if her feelings are so strong then why would she put in the effort..??
Next move - I'm not going to go anywhere. I might bugger off to the cotswolds next weekend to stay with parents to give her some space, maybe I'll take the kids but I think the ball is firmly in her court. I would like her to see the Drs just to rule out the depression side of things and I would also like us to get some counselling. My worry is that she is very very against going to Relate (she didn't like the woman last time) plus she was dead against us going together but I want the counsellor to get a balanced view. I think she owes it to the kids if not me to at least try and exhaust all avenues to try and make it work as in my mind separation and divorce must be the LAST option.
Can I just say thanks again for peoples views and opinions especially those who have been in the same boat. I think it helps just being able to put things in writing. BTW the SWT comments are ok, this is PH after all and I could do with a bit of a laugh right now
Re: the comments about infidelity. I have known this woman for about 25 years and we've been together along time. Before I even broached the subject of someone else being involved I knew the answer was No. She looked me in the eye and told me this was about her feelings towards me and there isn't some other bloke involved that's re-lit her fire. I believe her.
The actual D word has not been mentioned just that she feels she would be happier living separately. In her plan she wants to move out of the family home and live elsewhere. She is not a gold digger (never been a spender) and I'd like to think we can both work things out without going all-out 'legal'
Kids - these 2 most precious people must remain our priority. A view that is absolutely supported by my wife. I would never use them as a bargaining tool or otherwise try and turn them against their Mother. I believe she will do the same.
Depression - it's difficult to put this into words but 2 years ago she was in a very dark place. She would literally run away from things, was very weepy, didn't want to interact with others and was signed off work for 3 months. She wasn't really well at all and although the words she uttered cut deep and I could've instigated things to protect myself she needed my help and support. Which she received.
Other points to consider - she says she doesn't love me and can't have a physical relationship with me yet in the last few months we have spent some real Q.time together with weekends away, a couple of big nights out which have been great
. My confusion is that if her feelings are so strong then why would she put in the effort..??Next move - I'm not going to go anywhere. I might bugger off to the cotswolds next weekend to stay with parents to give her some space, maybe I'll take the kids but I think the ball is firmly in her court. I would like her to see the Drs just to rule out the depression side of things and I would also like us to get some counselling. My worry is that she is very very against going to Relate (she didn't like the woman last time) plus she was dead against us going together but I want the counsellor to get a balanced view. I think she owes it to the kids if not me to at least try and exhaust all avenues to try and make it work as in my mind separation and divorce must be the LAST option.
Can I just say thanks again for peoples views and opinions especially those who have been in the same boat. I think it helps just being able to put things in writing. BTW the SWT comments are ok, this is PH after all and I could do with a bit of a laugh right now
Just re-reading a number of posts and think it's worth mentioning the financial side of things.
Fortunately, we have a relatively small mortgage on our current property but as she earns c.20% of my earnings she IS going to need help financially. I am glad to offer financial support to ensure my kids are staying in a decent house in a decent area and don't go without. Maybe it is naive of me but from discussions thus far and knowing her as I do I really don't think she is looking to take me for all she can get and does acknowledge that there will need to be sacrifices on both sides.
I need to remain whiter than white in all this and I'm very conscious of that but if the inevitable happens I do think we can sort things amicably.
Obviously my hope is that things can be resolved but tbh the emotional turmoil she has put me through and is putting me through means that should she walk out the door it is going to be very difficult for me to just accept her back. A lot of damage has already been done. If it happens, it happens and it's her choice. I am trying to remain positive and not let myself get dragged into a spiral of depression.
Fortunately, we have a relatively small mortgage on our current property but as she earns c.20% of my earnings she IS going to need help financially. I am glad to offer financial support to ensure my kids are staying in a decent house in a decent area and don't go without. Maybe it is naive of me but from discussions thus far and knowing her as I do I really don't think she is looking to take me for all she can get and does acknowledge that there will need to be sacrifices on both sides.
I need to remain whiter than white in all this and I'm very conscious of that but if the inevitable happens I do think we can sort things amicably.
Obviously my hope is that things can be resolved but tbh the emotional turmoil she has put me through and is putting me through means that should she walk out the door it is going to be very difficult for me to just accept her back. A lot of damage has already been done. If it happens, it happens and it's her choice. I am trying to remain positive and not let myself get dragged into a spiral of depression.
dafeller said:
All three women had recently experienced the loss of a parent
Thanks for sharing dafeller... There are synergies here with my wife. She lost her Father whom she was very close to a couple of years before the depression spirraled out of control. She took the loss very very badly and I am certain has still not got over it.ShawCrossShark said:
Always welcome to PM me if you need to spout or just need a chat
Cheers mate appreciate it and again thanks all for the comments of which some I want to read and others less so.We haven't talked much today about things tbh - deliberately. Fookin ell this is hard though especially when I look at the kids
TedMaul said:
Thats an excellent post. I think I am in the same situation, we are about to split, no doubt, we have 2 kids, 5&7 who neither of us can support on our own. she works key time & part time, I work all the hours god gives, my boss on stress leave so i'm doing his job too. When he comes back I hope to compress my hours, do 1 week of 09:30-14:30 and one week of 7am to 6pm (I work in evenings at home anyway when kids are in bed, so that wont change) and just alternate....
So much of this about, must be an age & stage thing. Good luck to the OP and all others in this situation.
Chin up fella and feel free to use this thread to vent if it helps which I think it does.So much of this about, must be an age & stage thing. Good luck to the OP and all others in this situation.
Not much more to report with my situation. We've done alot of talking over the last few days and if I'm honest I think she needs professional help. Her reasons for walking out just don't seem to add up to me...
OK chaps thought it about time to make an update:
To follow on from my original post and other replies we basically muddled on, she has never left the house or the marital bed. As an outsider you would not know anything had changed we still go out with friends etc. However, things weren’t good at home after this bombshell in May as there was a real atmosphere, the feeling of having to walk on eggshells around her etc.
Then in July 2012 my wife collapsed at home in the early hours of a Sat morning. I rushed her into hospital and by 10am she was undergoing emergency surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy in one of her ovaries. She lost approx 2 litres of blood and the chilling part was that I was told had I not got her into hospital when I did she would not have survived.
Personal feelings went on hold and for a couple of months whilst she recovered things were actually great at home she would cuddle up to me, was generally pleased to see me and contented. She talked about the experience being an ‘epiphany’. I genuinely believed things had turned a corner and I had got my old wife back.
However, in Sep 2012 she went back to work (to a job that she really doesn’t enjoy anymore) and things started going downhill again and she became cold and distant towards me. I haven’t pushed her and have tried to maintain a happy, secure environment at home being considerate and helping out as much as I can but I am now at the end of my tether and feel emotionally drained. Not because of the effort I am putting in but because she has basically kept me in the dark and I feel as if I’m in a state of Limbo. Her total reluctance to go to any form of counselling is also riling me.
Things came to a bit of a head on New Years Day as I became aware she had made enquiries with a letting agent (which she did not pursue) but I also saw a text she had received from an unknown number (not one of her contacts). The text simply stated “Happy New Year Darling”. Maintaining my composure I challenged her, she said she didn’t know who the text was from and must have received it by mistake. I also asked her again as I would prefer to hear it now, from her whether there was anyone else involved and she again assured me there wasn’t. I have been racking my brains but there hasn’t been any real ‘signs’ that she has been cheating on me but it has definitely got me thinking.
Assuming she hasn’t been cheating on me I really don’t want to throw the towel in myself (last thing to do as the bloke). I have told her I have enough left in me to try and sort things once and for all if she is willing. I do think the ‘issues’ she has can be resolved with some hard work and professional help but she seems adamant things are beyond that stage. Surely, she / we have too much to lose for her to just give up without really trying…??
So that’s my current predicament. Any words of wisdom gratefully received.
To follow on from my original post and other replies we basically muddled on, she has never left the house or the marital bed. As an outsider you would not know anything had changed we still go out with friends etc. However, things weren’t good at home after this bombshell in May as there was a real atmosphere, the feeling of having to walk on eggshells around her etc.
Then in July 2012 my wife collapsed at home in the early hours of a Sat morning. I rushed her into hospital and by 10am she was undergoing emergency surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy in one of her ovaries. She lost approx 2 litres of blood and the chilling part was that I was told had I not got her into hospital when I did she would not have survived.
Personal feelings went on hold and for a couple of months whilst she recovered things were actually great at home she would cuddle up to me, was generally pleased to see me and contented. She talked about the experience being an ‘epiphany’. I genuinely believed things had turned a corner and I had got my old wife back.
However, in Sep 2012 she went back to work (to a job that she really doesn’t enjoy anymore) and things started going downhill again and she became cold and distant towards me. I haven’t pushed her and have tried to maintain a happy, secure environment at home being considerate and helping out as much as I can but I am now at the end of my tether and feel emotionally drained. Not because of the effort I am putting in but because she has basically kept me in the dark and I feel as if I’m in a state of Limbo. Her total reluctance to go to any form of counselling is also riling me.
Things came to a bit of a head on New Years Day as I became aware she had made enquiries with a letting agent (which she did not pursue) but I also saw a text she had received from an unknown number (not one of her contacts). The text simply stated “Happy New Year Darling”. Maintaining my composure I challenged her, she said she didn’t know who the text was from and must have received it by mistake. I also asked her again as I would prefer to hear it now, from her whether there was anyone else involved and she again assured me there wasn’t. I have been racking my brains but there hasn’t been any real ‘signs’ that she has been cheating on me but it has definitely got me thinking.
Assuming she hasn’t been cheating on me I really don’t want to throw the towel in myself (last thing to do as the bloke). I have told her I have enough left in me to try and sort things once and for all if she is willing. I do think the ‘issues’ she has can be resolved with some hard work and professional help but she seems adamant things are beyond that stage. Surely, she / we have too much to lose for her to just give up without really trying…??
So that’s my current predicament. Any words of wisdom gratefully received.
Guys, thankyou for the honest advice. I was up until 4am this morning with all sorts running through my head. If she is seeing someone I just wish she would tell me so that at least we can start to move forward. I don't want to (and not sure I can anyway) get into snooping at her phone records as think this would drive me mad and I'd probably be too focussed on finding anything no matter what.
Re: the text this has really thrown me tbh and I tend to agree with the poster that said 'darling' text messages are sent to ones contacts. She also swore on the kids lives she didn't know who it was from. I said I believed her and wouldn't mention it again but it really is driving me insane. Maybe i should just ask her for a copy of her bill to put my mind at ease..?? I have the house to myself for the next couple of days as she had already arranged to visit my parents with the kids (I have to work).
Maybe I'm being delusional and should just accept that things have run their course but I genuinely believe she's not right in the head. Here are some other facts:
This all started a couple of years after her Dad died
We are both in our early forties
She suffers with depression
She openly talks about her problems at work (org changes etc) and spends time chatting to her work colleagues on an evening b
hing about things. She works in a primary school so 90% of staff are women and I know she speaks predominantly to 1 or 2 of the women that she is close too. That doesn't mean she isn't chatting to a bloke too but she has nver mentioned 'Bob' the new bloke at work for example..
She has 2 moods. Cold and distant or happy and bubbly.
She flatly refuses any counselling
When we've spoken she says she doesn't know what she wants and is confused. She was certain she wanted to leave but now is unsure etc.
Aaaagghhh... Feckin wimmins..!!
Maybe I'm being delusional and should just accept that things have run their course but I genuinely believe she's not right in the head. Here are some other facts:
This all started a couple of years after her Dad died
We are both in our early forties
She suffers with depression
She openly talks about her problems at work (org changes etc) and spends time chatting to her work colleagues on an evening b
hing about things. She works in a primary school so 90% of staff are women and I know she speaks predominantly to 1 or 2 of the women that she is close too. That doesn't mean she isn't chatting to a bloke too but she has nver mentioned 'Bob' the new bloke at work for example..She has 2 moods. Cold and distant or happy and bubbly.
She flatly refuses any counselling
When we've spoken she says she doesn't know what she wants and is confused. She was certain she wanted to leave but now is unsure etc.
Aaaagghhh... Feckin wimmins..!!
I probably am in denial a natural reaction surely. Before her illness I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that the marriage was failing and that was that. However, her attitude towards me during her illness and subsequent recovery (plus what we talked about) suggested things were improving and I felt happier as did she.
Re: the text unfortunately I was not quick enough to write the number down and as we talked about it again the next day she said she'd deleted it. At the time I just wish I had sent a text reply.
Re: the text unfortunately I was not quick enough to write the number down and as we talked about it again the next day she said she'd deleted it. At the time I just wish I had sent a text reply.
Muzzer79 said:
Tread carefully. I would want more evidence than this before pressing the 'cheating' button.
This is where I am at the moment.... From the very quick glimpse I got of her text inbox on NYD there was the 'darling' one but the rest were from friends / girls from work. Ok I didn't get the opportunity to scroll down more than a page as I was too busy having a WTF moment.Re: her phone habits she does tend to have it by her side most of the time but then so do I. On a night it lives on the table at her side of the bed and mine lives on my side. She will leave it around but usually face down but then again I turn off my text preview not because I have anything to hide but I don't want my mates sending me something inappropriate that the kids may read. She will take it with her when taking a bath but nothing really that unusual there though is there.
Chaps, I can't go into too much detail on a public forum but I obtained sufficient evidence to confirm she has been meeting up with another bloke for sex on an afternoon on her days off. I know his name, mobile number, home address and where he works.
I have remained cool, calm and collected throughout and am quite impressed with my ability to remain composed. I asked her to confirm who 'blokey' was and after a bit of uhhming and ahhing she was quick to fess up when presented with further evidence from myself (only verbally). In fact her jaw hit the floor. She confirmed they had met up a few times in Sept but only conversed via text since. I don't believe her but it doesn't matter dirty deed done.
We talked at length and again I have remained composed yet assertive and she knows how much she has hurt me. She also knows that this is effectively the last nail in the coffin in our marriage and she now needs to make a decision.
She is leaving the family home and will find somewhere local. We do not have a timescale but she knows it needs to be soon.
I know the cynics will have a view on this but she knows she is in the 'wrong' and that I didn't deserve to be treated like this. She is not after money, property etc and wants us to keep the family home. Kids will be 50:50 and aslong as she has somewhere decent to live is all she wants (I await the flaming).
We also discussed the legal side and have agreed we would like to do this without lawyers and for things to remain amicable for both our sakes. I have offered that if she treats me with the respect that I think I deserve I will do the same. However, I will be seeking some legal advice early next week.
We went to bed in the wee hours but I couldn't sleep. I hugged her before going to bed and broke down it had all got a bit too much. In the cold light of day though I feel remarkebly chipper. I have spoken with my family and a close friend so have a sympathetic ear. At least a decision has been made and I can get on with my life. Albeit, with some hurdles ahead. She, however is in bits today, crying, vomitting and deep down knows she's made some terrible choices.
She has told me that 'blokey' does not want anything to do with her if she splits with hubby. Shame eh..??
I have assured her that I take no pleasure in seeing her squirm knowing that this branch has been snapped and she does not have hold of another. Just a really sad situation and we need to think carefully, when the dust has settled how we tell the children who must remain our priority. They do not need to know the reasons just that Mummy and Daddy love them very much but need to live apart.
We have a very close circle of joint friends and she is very concerned about telling them and the gossip mongers at work etc. I'm not really that bothered but have said that I will certainly not be shouting this from the rooftops or changing my FB status to single.
I have resisted the urge to go round and get all medieval on 'blokey' but am debating whether to send him a 'I know what you've been upto text'
So there you have it. You spend 20 years with a woman and think you know her inside out. She puts you through 3 years of emotional hell, but you stay by her side, concerned that she might not be 'right in the head'. She swears on the kids lives and says "I would never do that to you.." when quizzed whether she is seeing someone elase and she does this to you. To be honest it makes me sick.
To conclude thankyou for all the PM's and wise words. You know who you are
Right, I'm off out to pull some 21 year old dental nurse and knock her diff out...
I have remained cool, calm and collected throughout and am quite impressed with my ability to remain composed. I asked her to confirm who 'blokey' was and after a bit of uhhming and ahhing she was quick to fess up when presented with further evidence from myself (only verbally). In fact her jaw hit the floor. She confirmed they had met up a few times in Sept but only conversed via text since. I don't believe her but it doesn't matter dirty deed done.
We talked at length and again I have remained composed yet assertive and she knows how much she has hurt me. She also knows that this is effectively the last nail in the coffin in our marriage and she now needs to make a decision.
She is leaving the family home and will find somewhere local. We do not have a timescale but she knows it needs to be soon.
I know the cynics will have a view on this but she knows she is in the 'wrong' and that I didn't deserve to be treated like this. She is not after money, property etc and wants us to keep the family home. Kids will be 50:50 and aslong as she has somewhere decent to live is all she wants (I await the flaming).
We also discussed the legal side and have agreed we would like to do this without lawyers and for things to remain amicable for both our sakes. I have offered that if she treats me with the respect that I think I deserve I will do the same. However, I will be seeking some legal advice early next week.
We went to bed in the wee hours but I couldn't sleep. I hugged her before going to bed and broke down it had all got a bit too much. In the cold light of day though I feel remarkebly chipper. I have spoken with my family and a close friend so have a sympathetic ear. At least a decision has been made and I can get on with my life. Albeit, with some hurdles ahead. She, however is in bits today, crying, vomitting and deep down knows she's made some terrible choices.
She has told me that 'blokey' does not want anything to do with her if she splits with hubby. Shame eh..??
I have assured her that I take no pleasure in seeing her squirm knowing that this branch has been snapped and she does not have hold of another. Just a really sad situation and we need to think carefully, when the dust has settled how we tell the children who must remain our priority. They do not need to know the reasons just that Mummy and Daddy love them very much but need to live apart.
We have a very close circle of joint friends and she is very concerned about telling them and the gossip mongers at work etc. I'm not really that bothered but have said that I will certainly not be shouting this from the rooftops or changing my FB status to single.
I have resisted the urge to go round and get all medieval on 'blokey' but am debating whether to send him a 'I know what you've been upto text'
So there you have it. You spend 20 years with a woman and think you know her inside out. She puts you through 3 years of emotional hell, but you stay by her side, concerned that she might not be 'right in the head'. She swears on the kids lives and says "I would never do that to you.." when quizzed whether she is seeing someone elase and she does this to you. To be honest it makes me sick.
To conclude thankyou for all the PM's and wise words. You know who you are
Right, I'm off out to pull some 21 year old dental nurse and knock her diff out...
Thanks chaps.
To be honest she really is in bits and said to me this morning that the fact I am remaining so calm is freaking her out and why haven't I thrown her out and screamed and shouted as that is what she deserves. My response was that we need to be grown up about this and what is done is done and we need to move forward. Oh and would she like a cup of tea.
Re: the other guy he is single thankfully but god the urge to pop round and open a sixpack of whoopass on him is difficult to resist. I'm not sure if he knows I know probably not. I know she texted him last night asking him not to make anymore contact but her phone has been somewhat quiet today.
I need to get some sleep and a decent meal as think I'm running on adrenaline at the moment.
To be honest she really is in bits and said to me this morning that the fact I am remaining so calm is freaking her out and why haven't I thrown her out and screamed and shouted as that is what she deserves. My response was that we need to be grown up about this and what is done is done and we need to move forward. Oh and would she like a cup of tea.
Re: the other guy he is single thankfully but god the urge to pop round and open a sixpack of whoopass on him is difficult to resist. I'm not sure if he knows I know probably not. I know she texted him last night asking him not to make anymore contact but her phone has been somewhat quiet today.
I need to get some sleep and a decent meal as think I'm running on adrenaline at the moment.
Many thanks for the continued feedback
To answer the counselling question I'm not sure if you read all my posts but this is something I have been trying to get my wife to agree to for some time now. She has always flatly refused.
If I'm honest the marriage has been doomed for some time but I maintain that if she had allowed us to work at things as of last May then there is a chance we could have saved the marriage. Maybe I was in denial but I genuinely thought it was worth a shot.
However, none of the above has been allowed to happen by my wife and so we found ourselves in the position we found ourselves in December. Unfortuately the bombshell that she has been unfaithful signals the end of the relationship as far as I am concerned and she has agreed the best course of action is to move out and we separate.
@broken biscuit I am so sorry to hear of your troubles and appreciate I am not the only one out there going through such heartache but find some comfort in writing it down
To answer the counselling question I'm not sure if you read all my posts but this is something I have been trying to get my wife to agree to for some time now. She has always flatly refused.
If I'm honest the marriage has been doomed for some time but I maintain that if she had allowed us to work at things as of last May then there is a chance we could have saved the marriage. Maybe I was in denial but I genuinely thought it was worth a shot.
However, none of the above has been allowed to happen by my wife and so we found ourselves in the position we found ourselves in December. Unfortuately the bombshell that she has been unfaithful signals the end of the relationship as far as I am concerned and she has agreed the best course of action is to move out and we separate.
@broken biscuit I am so sorry to hear of your troubles and appreciate I am not the only one out there going through such heartache but find some comfort in writing it down
Thanks for all the kind words. I must admit I'm joking about going on the hunt for other women as I have much more pressing issues as the moment - like the kids. However, it raises a hope and a smile and I need that just now as cannot find the time to think about myself.
Unfortuantely this has all turned so fked up you couldn't write the script. Although over the weekend she admitted to the affair with 'Blokey' my spidey senses were tingling about others.
I've been a bit cute about it, taken my time and double bluffed but she also admitted that she has also been at it with a good mate of 25 years Sadly, he is married with kids. I have texted him telling him I know but left it at that.
However, the worst is yet to come. Again the spidey senses were tingling about my best friend, in fact my confidante of the last few years, the guy I would share a beer with and pour my heart out to. I asked him down to the house. He came bringing beers. I poured him a drink and told him my wife had admitted to another affair with a friend, someone we had known for many years. I then turned, looked him in the eye and asked him if there was anything he wanted to say to me. He broke down. Finally admitting to it. Amazingly I didn't beat the living st out of the fker but got the information and calmly called my wife to tell her I knew. He is married with a young child and his wife works with my wife.
Actually, we talked for some time and I told him he now needs to leave, MTFU and tell his wife everything. He did and an hour later his wife is at my door sobbing and I told her everything that I knew.
I told you it was fked up and honestly if I was reading this I'd think it was all made up. I now feel utterly drained and totally and utterly betrayed
Unfortuantely this has all turned so f
ked up you couldn't write the script. Although over the weekend she admitted to the affair with 'Blokey' my spidey senses were tingling about others.I've been a bit cute about it, taken my time and double bluffed but she also admitted that she has also been at it with a good mate of 25 years
Sadly, he is married with kids. I have texted him telling him I know but left it at that.However, the worst is yet to come. Again the spidey senses were tingling about my best friend, in fact my confidante of the last few years, the guy I would share a beer with and pour my heart out to. I asked him down to the house. He came bringing beers. I poured him a drink and told him my wife had admitted to another affair with a friend, someone we had known for many years. I then turned, looked him in the eye and asked him if there was anything he wanted to say to me. He broke down. Finally admitting to it. Amazingly I didn't beat the living s
t out of the fker but got the information and calmly called my wife to tell her I knew. He is married with a young child and his wife works with my wife.Actually, we talked for some time and I told him he now needs to leave, MTFU and tell his wife everything. He did and an hour later his wife is at my door sobbing and I told her everything that I knew.
I told you it was f
ked up and honestly if I was reading this I'd think it was all made up. I now feel utterly drained and totally and utterly betrayed Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff