Discussion
I have tried so very hard to grow up. My marriage is recent, I love my wife, I am renovating a house for us to move into, and I was thinking that at nearly 40, I'd settled down and started behaving like a proper human being.
I woke up this morning to a complete mess. There was a bottle of whisky on the dining room table, the remains of a half-cooked early morning "man meal", lots of clothes, and the projector was showing Batman Begins. On repeat. I felt like I had regressed. And there were a load of women here whose names I could not (and cannot still) remember. Some (most) not properly dressed.
I woke up to an angry/amused wife. Wondering why there were some randoms passed out around me in our home.
E-mails (polite) show that I was kicked out of the Shangri-La for naked swimming and rowdiness. Uber XL receipt shows that I was not alone on the start of my short shamble home. A Hangover from Purgatory is now kicking around the empty remains of my skull.
I have just thrown the last of my new friends out and left them to the mercies of Uber. I have checked that nothing has been stolen. I have called the office so that I can work from home (i.e. head to the garden with a laptop, sunglasses and a bucket of ice/beers and pretend to be alive - whilst e-mailing my team to tell them that they should knock off at midday and stay in the pub). I feel like death.
The extent of saving my marriage has been along the lines of "I'm sorry Lady F - I love you and that's shown by the fact that these random girls got me home, and I didn't touch any of them in an inappropriate way - and look, they're all gone now!" And then running away.
War is hell, people. I hope that your weekends will be better than mine.
I woke up this morning to a complete mess. There was a bottle of whisky on the dining room table, the remains of a half-cooked early morning "man meal", lots of clothes, and the projector was showing Batman Begins. On repeat. I felt like I had regressed. And there were a load of women here whose names I could not (and cannot still) remember. Some (most) not properly dressed.
I woke up to an angry/amused wife. Wondering why there were some randoms passed out around me in our home.
E-mails (polite) show that I was kicked out of the Shangri-La for naked swimming and rowdiness. Uber XL receipt shows that I was not alone on the start of my short shamble home. A Hangover from Purgatory is now kicking around the empty remains of my skull.
I have just thrown the last of my new friends out and left them to the mercies of Uber. I have checked that nothing has been stolen. I have called the office so that I can work from home (i.e. head to the garden with a laptop, sunglasses and a bucket of ice/beers and pretend to be alive - whilst e-mailing my team to tell them that they should knock off at midday and stay in the pub). I feel like death.
The extent of saving my marriage has been along the lines of "I'm sorry Lady F - I love you and that's shown by the fact that these random girls got me home, and I didn't touch any of them in an inappropriate way - and look, they're all gone now!" And then running away.
War is hell, people. I hope that your weekends will be better than mine.
Heh. Sitting on my lawn and pretending to work, whilst drinking cold Hoegaarden and shouting "WIFE" through the doors at regular intervals is much more fun than it should be.
Especially when said wife keeps giving me the finger while trying to do conference calls.
I f
king love being married.
Especially when said wife keeps giving me the finger while trying to do conference calls.
I f
king love being married.Actually it was a Jura bourbon. Super-expensive whisky is one of the very few vices I don't actually have...
My wife is quite angry with me, it has to be said - but not really for Thursday night, which she regards as a return to standard form, and almost something of a relief (she prefers that I do something retarded like this but end up home, as opposed to waking up in random places, which was my MO when single). No, she is cross more for the fact that, not wanting to lose my tenants for my house whilst the new one is being renovated, I moved them in to the spare rooms. Lady F thinks that having a couple of my single chums around drinking beer and watching sport in our home all the time is not how she wanted to start married life.
I, personally, think it's brilliant. But I have to get the new house finished, and us moved in, before she runs out of patience.
On reflection, the woman does put up with a lot. Two years ago, before we were engaged, I moved her into my place on the promise of a committed, mature, co-habiting approach to life. Three weeks later I resigned from my job and buggered off to France for five months to go skiing (God love gardening leave, eh?). Most women would probably have been more annoyed about this than she was (I mean, she was upset, but we still got married, so not too much harm done, eh?).
Always better to ask for forgiveness than permission, in my experience.
My wife is quite angry with me, it has to be said - but not really for Thursday night, which she regards as a return to standard form, and almost something of a relief (she prefers that I do something retarded like this but end up home, as opposed to waking up in random places, which was my MO when single). No, she is cross more for the fact that, not wanting to lose my tenants for my house whilst the new one is being renovated, I moved them in to the spare rooms. Lady F thinks that having a couple of my single chums around drinking beer and watching sport in our home all the time is not how she wanted to start married life.
I, personally, think it's brilliant. But I have to get the new house finished, and us moved in, before she runs out of patience.
On reflection, the woman does put up with a lot. Two years ago, before we were engaged, I moved her into my place on the promise of a committed, mature, co-habiting approach to life. Three weeks later I resigned from my job and buggered off to France for five months to go skiing (God love gardening leave, eh?). Most women would probably have been more annoyed about this than she was (I mean, she was upset, but we still got married, so not too much harm done, eh?).
Always better to ask for forgiveness than permission, in my experience.
Edited by Harry Flashman on Monday 8th August 16:16
Timmy40 said:
Meanwhile. I st you not I have been informed that I needn't come home tonight as the flooring Company fitting the Oak flooring have left a 5mm difference in height level when meeting the Indian Limestone flooring. As I booked the flooring fitters it's my fault apparently. Even though her highness has been on site all day with the kids being looked after by the Nanny.
I actually feel like going out drinking a bottle of bourbon, shagging some strippers, and taking photos to illustrate, I may as well actually misbehave properly if I'm going to get bkings.
Resh mate, it's all gone wrong.
Oh no chum!t you not I have been informed that I needn't come home tonight as the flooring Company fitting the Oak flooring have left a 5mm difference in height level when meeting the Indian Limestone flooring. As I booked the flooring fitters it's my fault apparently. Even though her highness has been on site all day with the kids being looked after by the Nanny. I actually feel like going out drinking a bottle of bourbon, shagging some strippers, and taking photos to illustrate, I may as well actually misbehave properly if I'm going to get b
kings.Resh mate, it's all gone wrong.
This is why I am not allowing us to move into our house until it is all finished.
Which may have been an error as it looks like you may need a spare room this evening.
ali_kat said:
How have I missed this? Oh Harry 
Congratulations on the occasion of your recent marriage
. I hope that you'll be as happy as Mr Kat & I are 
The only time Mr Kat has been upset with me coming home in a when I was 'single state' was after a quiet night out with CB and a couple of other PHrs after a job interview; and that was because I'd come home on the "vomit comet" than my usual MO of booking a hotel
she doesn't work AND has a Nanny?! Wtf does she do?
Hey Ali.Congratulations on the occasion of your recent marriage
. I hope that you'll be as happy as Mr Kat & I are The only time Mr Kat has been upset with me coming home in a when I was 'single state' was after a quiet night out with CB and a couple of other PHrs after a job interview; and that was because I'd come home on the "vomit comet" than my usual MO of booking a hotel
Timmy40 said:
Right flooring sorted with the easy option of laying another wood flooring ontop of the current ****king wood flooring. They're sorting that out at cost price with £0 for installation.
As for the wife, yes a word is in order, she doesn't work, we have a nanny, and of course I'm not having the work done whilst we live in the house Resh, this is the new 5 bed house I'm building her which is roughly twice the size of the Barn Conversion I previously built for her.
The problem is having a 'word' with her results in a barrage of abuse back in my direction. One thing at a time. I need to complete the build, then sort the wife out then lay the patio.
Timmy! As for the wife, yes a word is in order, she doesn't work, we have a nanny, and of course I'm not having the work done whilst we live in the house Resh, this is the new 5 bed house I'm building her which is roughly twice the size of the Barn Conversion I previously built for her.
The problem is having a 'word' with her results in a barrage of abuse back in my direction. One thing at a time. I need to complete the build, then sort the wife out then lay the patio.
she doesn't work AND has a Nanny?! Wtf does she do?Reading Tim's post, I am a lucky man - but I can only hope it won't all change dramatically if we have children.
Yesterday night was a much more standard Thursday than last week's, sadly. Worked late, went over to new house project, freaked out at how little it looks like a home just weeks from supposed completion, went home and worked some more, went to bed, stressed.
Last Friday I was sitting in my garden, half-drunk, bantering with Lady F and basking in the glow of a ridiculous night out and domestic bliss. This morning I am staring out of my office window, into the grey, counting the hours until the weekend.
No consistency. That's my problem.
MadCaptainJack said:
(I wanted to post this two weeks ago but PH forced me to wait 14 days after registering. 
)
I love the period between Christmas and going back to work in January. After the frenzy of card-sending, present-buying, Christmas food shopping, and the phone calls and Facetimes, it's great to relax a bit, and ponder important questions about the year ahead, like "Should I find a new job?", "Where should we go on holiday this year?" and "I wonder which would be more fun: a McLaren GT or a Caterham Super Seven 1600?"
My research on that last item eventually led me to Pistonheads where, on a whim, I decided to browse the forums. I came across the "PH Legendary Threads" topic and, scanning down the list, read a few that looked interesting.
"Harry Flashman's Night Out," I thought to myself. "I wonder if that's some scandalous report of Prince Harry's clubhopping antics before he settled down with Megan..."
Not that Harry, as it turned out, but amusing nonetheless. I chuckled and thought to myself, "Haha, that sounds like the sort of thing my old flatmate would do!"
And then I paused.
And frowned.
And re-read the post.
Married... Renovating a house... When was this posted? Hmmm, I remember seeing some photos of a renovation job on the house he had before his current one. Nearly 40... A wife who would get angry/amused at such antics...
This is ticking a lot of boxes!
So I click on Flashman's name to look at his profile and What Do I Find but a picture of my old flatmate's Morgan, with its memorable reg plate! (Which he once drunkenly lent me when the alternator on my crappy Vectra failed just as I was setting off on a 270-mile round trip.)
So folks, if anyone thought Harry was making this story up, rest assured that this is exactly the sort of antics he used to regularly get up to when I lived in his spare room, in what became known amongst our friends as the Bachelor Pad of Doom!
Holy hell mate: how are you???! )I love the period between Christmas and going back to work in January. After the frenzy of card-sending, present-buying, Christmas food shopping, and the phone calls and Facetimes, it's great to relax a bit, and ponder important questions about the year ahead, like "Should I find a new job?", "Where should we go on holiday this year?" and "I wonder which would be more fun: a McLaren GT or a Caterham Super Seven 1600?"
My research on that last item eventually led me to Pistonheads where, on a whim, I decided to browse the forums. I came across the "PH Legendary Threads" topic and, scanning down the list, read a few that looked interesting.
"Harry Flashman's Night Out," I thought to myself. "I wonder if that's some scandalous report of Prince Harry's clubhopping antics before he settled down with Megan..."
Not that Harry, as it turned out, but amusing nonetheless. I chuckled and thought to myself, "Haha, that sounds like the sort of thing my old flatmate would do!"
And then I paused.
And frowned.
And re-read the post.
Married... Renovating a house... When was this posted? Hmmm, I remember seeing some photos of a renovation job on the house he had before his current one. Nearly 40... A wife who would get angry/amused at such antics...
This is ticking a lot of boxes!
So I click on Flashman's name to look at his profile and What Do I Find but a picture of my old flatmate's Morgan, with its memorable reg plate! (Which he once drunkenly lent me when the alternator on my crappy Vectra failed just as I was setting off on a 270-mile round trip.)
So folks, if anyone thought Harry was making this story up, rest assured that this is exactly the sort of antics he used to regularly get up to when I lived in his spare room, in what became known amongst our friends as the Bachelor Pad of Doom!
We are knee deep in new baby, but would love to be back in touch.
And let's not pretend you were an angel. We did some fun stuff whilst out befire we were Dads.
Jack actually has saved my arse on many, many occasions. Including getting me onto a flight by flashing his military ID when I was truly wasted. Got me to Ibiza. Yes. Really.
Miss you, brother.
Lady F has been a partner in crime for much of the stupid stuff I used to get up to many years ago, which is why she forgives my occasional slips. Although since we had the first daughter nearly 3 years ago, life has been a great deal quieter.
I mean, my recent threads are about home and garden improvement, and whether I should buy a Ferrari or an electric car because I have children and my life is over. Proper mid life stuff.
I am half the man I was (except weight-wise, where I am 25% more than the man I was).
Jack, by the way, the night in question on this thread was MM's stag celebration. Just him, Ben and me. It was bad. I was banned from The Shard for a year, amongst other things.
I mean, my recent threads are about home and garden improvement, and whether I should buy a Ferrari or an electric car because I have children and my life is over. Proper mid life stuff.
I am half the man I was (except weight-wise, where I am 25% more than the man I was).
Jack, by the way, the night in question on this thread was MM's stag celebration. Just him, Ben and me. It was bad. I was banned from The Shard for a year, amongst other things.
Edited by Harry Flashman on Wednesday 13th January 19:49
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