How do you get through divorce?
Discussion
500 Miles said:
Shadowy_me said:
Monkeylegend said:
So often we get tales of woe on here from men who claim they have done nothing wrong in their relationships and have no understanding as to why their partners no longer wish to be with them.
It is always the woman's fault, she is having an affair, dump her, hide all your assets, move on.................... etc
Not true of course.
Your husband should consider himself to be a very lucky man to have somebody as understanding as you seem to be.
Pressing the self destruct button is painful to watch, especially when you want, but are unable to do anything prevent it.
I hope you can eventually get some form of closure on all this which suits all of you.
I somehow get the feeling though that there is a lot more pain to come so you need to prioritise the well being of yourself and your children irrespective of the outcome of your husbands ongoing treatment and rehabilitation, where ever that might lead.
Good luck.
Thank you for your kind and wise words. My therapist keeps saying that and Im trying but it’s difficult to prioritise myself right now as he spirals out of control into oblivion if I don’t talk to him and my girls worry about him all the time. It is always the woman's fault, she is having an affair, dump her, hide all your assets, move on.................... etc
Not true of course.
Your husband should consider himself to be a very lucky man to have somebody as understanding as you seem to be.
Pressing the self destruct button is painful to watch, especially when you want, but are unable to do anything prevent it.
I hope you can eventually get some form of closure on all this which suits all of you.
I somehow get the feeling though that there is a lot more pain to come so you need to prioritise the well being of yourself and your children irrespective of the outcome of your husbands ongoing treatment and rehabilitation, where ever that might lead.
Good luck.
And when I do talk to him it takes my time away from girls which isn’t ok. Our youngest one is so depressed now she won’t get up from her bed unless I get her up and into the shower. She won’t eat unless Im watching her. Our first child is very angry and packed up and left as couldn’t take the constant reminder of what her dad did by being at home.
I feel like my children are slipping away from me and life and I feel powerless to rescue them.
And then there is him. And if I could get angry and hate him it would be so much easier but I just feel so sorry for him for doing all this crap as he will have to live with this
Do you both have the same mannerisms? Drink the same drinks? Wear the same clothes? It’s good that he’s moved out but you’ve got his login details to this website - that’s a bit of a rookie mistake for such an accomplished cheat.
It’s a shame you will disappear tomorrow, however, I’m sure your husband will return soon.
Is this really true? In your perception are we really that similar? We are very different people, always have been but I guess after 22 years of being together things can change. We don’t drink the same drinks as he is an alcoholic and likes Pepsi, I drink water and herbal teas. He dresses in black mainly and I love white clothes and lots of colour.
I have lost my identity through this and I’m working in therapy to get back to me but this post has me worried a bit. I guess I did learn English from my husband so maybe that’s part of the problem. But I never realised I melded (is this a real word?) into him. I guess I should bring it into my therapy.
And as I still love him its difficult not to give it another go but he will just hurt me again. He is a very sick man. I have to stay strong for the sake of my children. I am seeing the benefit of this group more and more. The comments are sometimes very deep and helpful. I have created my own login as feel I should stop using my husband’s. But apparently they are not accepting posts from new members.
Shadowy_me said:
Sten. said:
I suppose we'll never know for sure, but I strongly suspect the OP to be a Walt.
Can you please explain what OP and Walt is?Walt = Walter Mitty as in somebody who pretend to be something they are not,
What nationality are you by the way (I mean originally)?
Shadowy_me said:
GT03ROB said:
OP = Original Poster as in person who started this conversation
Walt = Walter Mitty as in somebody who pretend to be something they are not,
What nationality are you by the way (I mean originally)?
Thank you. I’m Polish. Why do you ask?Walt = Walter Mitty as in somebody who pretend to be something they are not,
What nationality are you by the way (I mean originally)?
GT03ROB said:
Shadowy_me said:
GT03ROB said:
OP = Original Poster as in person who started this conversation
Walt = Walter Mitty as in somebody who pretend to be something they are not,
What nationality are you by the way (I mean originally)?
Thank you. I’m Polish. Why do you ask?Walt = Walter Mitty as in somebody who pretend to be something they are not,
What nationality are you by the way (I mean originally)?
Also I’ve created my own login last night but they won’t let me post anything as apparently no new members comments are allowed. What’s that all about?
Shadowy_me said:
Hmm it does sound strange if you put it like that. He went to the priory at his own request and being me, I decided to drive him. He then gave me his phone as a gesture for me to see there were no more hook ups and as a form of internet addiction clearing.
While surging for hook ups I came across this chat and was surprised and hurt how much nastiness was coming my way after everything I went through and was still supporting him on his journey.
So I phoned him very disappointed and asked him to come clean.
But after a couple of initial replies to his truth I decided to explain as I didn’t want him to loose his male support. I just thought he can get better advice if he tells the truth and I will no longer have the hate of this group causing me nightmares.
No way are these replies all being typed out via a phone UI.While surging for hook ups I came across this chat and was surprised and hurt how much nastiness was coming my way after everything I went through and was still supporting him on his journey.
So I phoned him very disappointed and asked him to come clean.
But after a couple of initial replies to his truth I decided to explain as I didn’t want him to loose his male support. I just thought he can get better advice if he tells the truth and I will no longer have the hate of this group causing me nightmares.
PushedDover said:
Shadowy_me said:
Hmm it does sound strange if you put it like that. He went to the priory at his own request and being me, I decided to drive him. He then gave me his phone as a gesture for me to see there were no more hook ups and as a form of internet addiction clearing.
While surging for hook ups I came across this chat and was surprised and hurt how much nastiness was coming my way after everything I went through and was still supporting him on his journey.
So I phoned him very disappointed and asked him to come clean.
But after a couple of initial replies to his truth I decided to explain as I didn’t want him to loose his male support. I just thought he can get better advice if he tells the truth and I will no longer have the hate of this group causing me nightmares.
No way are these replies all being typed out via a phone UI.While surging for hook ups I came across this chat and was surprised and hurt how much nastiness was coming my way after everything I went through and was still supporting him on his journey.
So I phoned him very disappointed and asked him to come clean.
But after a couple of initial replies to his truth I decided to explain as I didn’t want him to loose his male support. I just thought he can get better advice if he tells the truth and I will no longer have the hate of this group causing me nightmares.
Does this help?
Not sure why you can’t post?
I don’t think she has anything to gain here from posting bulls
t.
Clearly the photo is a women in a dress so I am not sure it’s fake but just a personal view.
If she was worried for her safety and it was true we wouldn’t be so dismissive. Well I hope some wouldn’t be anyway.
I don’t think she has anything to gain here from posting bulls
t. Clearly the photo is a women in a dress so I am not sure it’s fake but just a personal view.
If she was worried for her safety and it was true we wouldn’t be so dismissive. Well I hope some wouldn’t be anyway.
CharlesdeGaulle said:
PushedDover said:
No way are these replies all being typed out via a phone UI.
No way is this genuine. It's also rather disrespectful to all those that are in real marital difficulties and to those who are offering well-intentioned advice. Shadow and his shadow are t
ttish Walts. abzmike said:
Step 1 - Do not sign anything
Step 2 - Obtain paid legal representation
Step 3 - Do that they say
My wife saw a solicitor a couple of years ago, more in a last ditch attempt to save our marriage. Step 2 - Obtain paid legal representation
Step 3 - Do that they say
She still thinks she would have got the house, £200k worth all her saving £50k (I have none), 1/2 what's in my business £30k, half my pension, and an income for life. I would get to keep the buy to let, which has a loan of £80k on it and £60k equity.
We are over 50, been married 30 years, and our kids are grown up.
I spoke to 3 solicitors and they all said, I should target a clean break and 50% of everything.
That the solicitors on each side are so far apart, suggests that actually they want the whole f
king lot. They know exactly what you can afford, and they know how to use up billing hours to get it.
We are still together and in a much happier place.
interstellar said:
Not sure why you can’t post?
I don’t think she has anything to gain here from posting bullst.
Clearly the photo is a women in a dress so I am not sure it’s fake but just a personal view.
If she was worried for her safety and it was true we wouldn’t be so dismissive. Well I hope some wouldn’t be anyway.
Thank you. I was worried for my safety especially as his standard joke used to involve comments about what would happen to me if I ever tried to leave but he is calm now since his treatment and says these were only jokes. So I guess all is good...I don’t think she has anything to gain here from posting bulls
t. Clearly the photo is a women in a dress so I am not sure it’s fake but just a personal view.
If she was worried for her safety and it was true we wouldn’t be so dismissive. Well I hope some wouldn’t be anyway.
Shadowy_me said:
CharlesdeGaulle said:
PushedDover said:
No way are these replies all being typed out via a phone UI.
No way is this genuine. It's also rather disrespectful to all those that are in real marital difficulties and to those who are offering well-intentioned advice. Shadow and his shadow are t
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