Really depressed
Discussion
Rob, part of the reason you want to chat this evening is because you've been in bed all day.
Good on you for doing some cleaning, that will definitely help and it's a good sign that you might be feeling slightly better.
Can I suggest that you set an alarm for a reasonable time tomorrow morning (9am?) and force yourself out of bed, in to the shower, in to dine clean clothes and out of the house for s good walk for an hour or two. It will make you feel lots better and give you a sense of achievement.
You may find it really hard but you need to do it.
Good on you for doing some cleaning, that will definitely help and it's a good sign that you might be feeling slightly better.
Can I suggest that you set an alarm for a reasonable time tomorrow morning (9am?) and force yourself out of bed, in to the shower, in to dine clean clothes and out of the house for s good walk for an hour or two. It will make you feel lots better and give you a sense of achievement.
You may find it really hard but you need to do it.
t windows phone. Drop me a mail onRob keep posting away. Doesn't matter even if you think it's total rubbish, keep posting. It will make you feel much better.
Nights when depressed - there's something horrible as darkness falls, like you feel there's an eternity stretching away and there's nobody anywhere near and you're alone and you start to get a sense that you won't see the other side of it. I know. That's common with depression. Nobody who hasn't been through it will understand that weird feeling of utter isolation. It might just help a bit to tell yourself it's quite normal to feel that way, and the morning always does come, in the end.
Renting a room? No shame in that. You need somewhere to live. Congratulations on managing to achieve that, many don't.
Don't entertain ideas of failure. If anyone ever suggests it, cut them out of your life. Don't need that going on.
Look how many people on here are rooting for you and standing shoulder to shoulder with you. That doesn't happen by accident. You can pull yourself through this, keep focused and keep going. You've GOT to keep going, now that you have got so many of us interested in your progress.
Your posts already sound better in tone than even 24 hours ago. Keep going!
Nights when depressed - there's something horrible as darkness falls, like you feel there's an eternity stretching away and there's nobody anywhere near and you're alone and you start to get a sense that you won't see the other side of it. I know. That's common with depression. Nobody who hasn't been through it will understand that weird feeling of utter isolation. It might just help a bit to tell yourself it's quite normal to feel that way, and the morning always does come, in the end.
Renting a room? No shame in that. You need somewhere to live. Congratulations on managing to achieve that, many don't.
Don't entertain ideas of failure. If anyone ever suggests it, cut them out of your life. Don't need that going on.
Look how many people on here are rooting for you and standing shoulder to shoulder with you. That doesn't happen by accident. You can pull yourself through this, keep focused and keep going. You've GOT to keep going, now that you have got so many of us interested in your progress.
Your posts already sound better in tone than even 24 hours ago. Keep going!
Edited by zarjaz1991 on Tuesday 20th September 21:48
Robster said:
What an amazing post , i just don't know from now onwards, if I want to survive the night , it's like flipping a coin in my mind , please help
Well now that you know the feeling of helplessness you get at night is completely normal in your situation, that should hopefully give you some strength to start to overcome it. The darkness always lifts....in life as well as at night.And as for whether you want to survive it, well apart from yourself we have to come back to your children. Can you picture a policeman having to sit them down gently and try to tell them that their dad......I can't even carry on typing that. It's not possible to countenance the lifelong hurt and heartbreak that would cause. It would never end for them. Not ever. So let's hear no more talk of 'not wanting to survive the night' because you could not do that to them, you're going to survive it and that's the end of it. So we need to work things out with that as the starting point.
Sorry for the stern post but those thoughts need to be banished from your head, right now.
Robster said:
What an amazing post , i just don't know from now onwards, if I want to survive the night , it's like flipping a coin in my mind , please help
You will survive the night and you will beat this! From your posts today I can see/feel you wanting to get through this, stay upbeat and positive and keep talking there's loads of people here ready to listen and offer help. So great to see the offers of support from other ph'ers my faith in humanity has been restored.
Rob, been following your story since last week. Keep going mister, it does get easier in my experience. Had a horrific separation from my wife driven by alsorts of weird stuff I still don't understand. Took me ages to get my head round the fact that I could only ever be half the problem!! Didn't see my kids for a while despite my protests....but with support and time from good mates I am now several years down the road and all is good. Ironically the kids don't see their mum at all....bit sad but they now understand what she tried to do to me and don't like it. Not an outcome I could have ever imagined.
So keep plugging through the darkness.. You will find the light at the end of the tunnel. You won't change what's happening around you but if you change yourself then they will have to deal with you differently!! This is so true for me and many others I am sure....
We all on your side and interested to know that you are going to make it!
So keep plugging through the darkness.. You will find the light at the end of the tunnel. You won't change what's happening around you but if you change yourself then they will have to deal with you differently!! This is so true for me and many others I am sure....
We all on your side and interested to know that you are going to make it!
Mate feeling a bit down is not depression. Depression is one of the hardest things many people will have to face. People thinking depression is just feeling a bit down belittles the serious issue that depression is to a massive amount of people who suffer in silence. Rob was brave enough to say his feelings out loud which imo saved his life. As a reference the guy who works for me that had depression is a 6'4 20 stone ex kick boxer so asking for help imo makes you more of a man. I also have first hand experience of depression in unsuccessfully giving first aid to someone who didn't ask for help in time.
I always welcomed nightime because being unconscious meant I didn't have to think about life. In that respect, mornings are always the worst for me
Of course, that was presuming I could actually sleep which, when I was suffering from a severe bout of clinical depression, was as likely as Anne Frank banging out a drum solo.
Of course, that was presuming I could actually sleep which, when I was suffering from a severe bout of clinical depression, was as likely as Anne Frank banging out a drum solo.
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