Mid life crisis. Has anybody had one?
Discussion
ComStrike said:
Thanks for the reply CC
I had a bit of an episode at the weekend & make a decision to stop drinking for the foreseeable.
I've been having conversations with myself for a while, as i know its been affecting me
I've really no hobbies, i used to goto the Gym a lot but since my partner had our son, she suffered really badly with PND & i was walking on eggshells for a good few years, put a bit of weight on & now my life revolves around work, home & my son's football
I'm still questioning a lot of things in my head.
Like most of the posters on this thread, from the outside looking in, i've a good life. Nice house. Nice cars. Nice holidays but something is missing. Maybe its the closeness i'm missing, maybe its something else
Maybe i just need to vent ...
It’s pretty normal at your stage in life to feel like this. Best thing to do is to focus on being the best you. Up the fitness, eat better and you’ll find that things change both mentally and socially with your wife. Look after yourself and you could have a great and fulfilling family life ahead. I had a bit of an episode at the weekend & make a decision to stop drinking for the foreseeable.
I've been having conversations with myself for a while, as i know its been affecting me
I've really no hobbies, i used to goto the Gym a lot but since my partner had our son, she suffered really badly with PND & i was walking on eggshells for a good few years, put a bit of weight on & now my life revolves around work, home & my son's football
I'm still questioning a lot of things in my head.
Like most of the posters on this thread, from the outside looking in, i've a good life. Nice house. Nice cars. Nice holidays but something is missing. Maybe its the closeness i'm missing, maybe its something else
Maybe i just need to vent ...
I come across this thread and I feel like I've been going through something along the lines of a midlife crisis the last few months.
I can't really describe it, but it's the feeling between meh and despair a lot has happened the last few years and I think some of a mlc is everything from the last few years creeping up until eventually it smothers you. If you sit and think of everything in your life the last decade or so, most people have experienced bereavement, family illness, money worries, becoming a parent and breadwinner and you just carry on and keep going until eventually it catches up with a vengeance. I too have struggled with the guilt of doing things for myself since becoming a parent, and it's mainly a self placed guilt that I should be spending the time/money with the family so when I do get out and do something I never really quite enjoy it fully. Work wise I realised I've just been drifting, the same job for 16 years and I've never improved myself I say I'll quit but it takes guts to admit you want a change and to act on it when there's mouths to feed relying on you.
I can't really describe it, but it's the feeling between meh and despair a lot has happened the last few years and I think some of a mlc is everything from the last few years creeping up until eventually it smothers you. If you sit and think of everything in your life the last decade or so, most people have experienced bereavement, family illness, money worries, becoming a parent and breadwinner and you just carry on and keep going until eventually it catches up with a vengeance. I too have struggled with the guilt of doing things for myself since becoming a parent, and it's mainly a self placed guilt that I should be spending the time/money with the family so when I do get out and do something I never really quite enjoy it fully. Work wise I realised I've just been drifting, the same job for 16 years and I've never improved myself I say I'll quit but it takes guts to admit you want a change and to act on it when there's mouths to feed relying on you.
ComStrike said:
Thanks for the reply CC
I had a bit of an episode at the weekend & make a decision to stop drinking for the foreseeable.
I've been having conversations with myself for a while, as i know its been affecting me
I've really no hobbies, i used to goto the Gym a lot but since my partner had our son, she suffered really badly with PND & i was walking on eggshells for a good few years, put a bit of weight on & now my life revolves around work, home & my son's football
I'm still questioning a lot of things in my head.
Like most of the posters on this thread, from the outside looking in, i've a good life. Nice house. Nice cars. Nice holidays but something is missing. Maybe its the closeness i'm missing, maybe its something else
Maybe i just need to vent ...
I meant it in the best possible way. Up until 2 years ago, I loved a drink, would usually always drink to excess when out and just accepted it as normal. A smart watch opened my eyes to how damaging it was and I started to realise much of it was down to alcohol. It has changed things for me to where if I go out, I'll have maybe one or two, but usually dilute the evening with other non alcoholic drinks. I know a lot of people will say it's boring as I used to, but the lull I get the day after and the day after that isn't worth it.I had a bit of an episode at the weekend & make a decision to stop drinking for the foreseeable.
I've been having conversations with myself for a while, as i know its been affecting me
I've really no hobbies, i used to goto the Gym a lot but since my partner had our son, she suffered really badly with PND & i was walking on eggshells for a good few years, put a bit of weight on & now my life revolves around work, home & my son's football
I'm still questioning a lot of things in my head.
Like most of the posters on this thread, from the outside looking in, i've a good life. Nice house. Nice cars. Nice holidays but something is missing. Maybe its the closeness i'm missing, maybe its something else
Maybe i just need to vent ...
I will say though that I don't think you're alone in your thoughts on this issue. I'm in the 40+ camp and I've got a settled life with a decent house, wife and great kids but something is missing. My social circle has narrowed hugely in the last 10 years with everyone getting kids or moving away and I sometimes wonder if it's the lack of having friends to enjoy things with. We live in a society where most of us don't live in a "community* where we worked and played with the people around us. I don't live near where I work so socialising with colleagues is a one off rather than a regular thing. I work shifts so a lot of my days off are during the week and are pretty solitary. I then go back to work where my work is solitary. The primal bond we get with other males isn't replicated with the on you have with your wife.
I was thinking about life in general when I turned 40 & came to the conclusion that you have 4 main phases.
Educate- 0-30 basically. Growing up & learning skills both in and out of formal education & work.
Accumulate- 30-50 roughly. Take what you have learned & apply it.
Appreciate- 50-70 roughly. Enjoy what you have achieved while you can.
Deteriorate- 70+. It comes to us all, but being prepared mentally for it makes as much sense as preparing financially.
I think a lot of ‘Mid Life Crisis’ behaviour is people realising that they haven’t accumulated enough or that they have and noticeably switch from accumulators to appreciators.
Health, money & time. Most people only have 2 of the 3 at any given moment.
If you have all 3 in one place size that opportunity & make it count!
Educate- 0-30 basically. Growing up & learning skills both in and out of formal education & work.
Accumulate- 30-50 roughly. Take what you have learned & apply it.
Appreciate- 50-70 roughly. Enjoy what you have achieved while you can.
Deteriorate- 70+. It comes to us all, but being prepared mentally for it makes as much sense as preparing financially.
I think a lot of ‘Mid Life Crisis’ behaviour is people realising that they haven’t accumulated enough or that they have and noticeably switch from accumulators to appreciators.
Health, money & time. Most people only have 2 of the 3 at any given moment.
If you have all 3 in one place size that opportunity & make it count!
Stick Legs said:
I was thinking about life in general when I turned 40 & came to the conclusion that you have 4 main phases.
Educate- 0-30 basically. Growing up & learning skills both in and out of formal education & work.
Accumulate- 30-50 roughly. Take what you have learned & apply it.
Appreciate- 50-70 roughly. Enjoy what you have achieved while you can.
Deteriorate- 70+. It comes to us all, but being prepared mentally for it makes as much sense as preparing financially.
I think a lot of ‘Mid Life Crisis’ behaviour is people realising that they haven’t accumulated enough or that they have and noticeably switch from accumulators to appreciators.
Health, money & time. Most people only have 2 of the 3 at any given moment.
If you have all 3 in one place size that opportunity & make it count!
Thats a very interesting post, an old colleague of mine said you need be doing everything you want now because a great creep sets in and its only when the creep has become unmanageable that you realise its there. I can relate to this so much now. Educate- 0-30 basically. Growing up & learning skills both in and out of formal education & work.
Accumulate- 30-50 roughly. Take what you have learned & apply it.
Appreciate- 50-70 roughly. Enjoy what you have achieved while you can.
Deteriorate- 70+. It comes to us all, but being prepared mentally for it makes as much sense as preparing financially.
I think a lot of ‘Mid Life Crisis’ behaviour is people realising that they haven’t accumulated enough or that they have and noticeably switch from accumulators to appreciators.
Health, money & time. Most people only have 2 of the 3 at any given moment.
If you have all 3 in one place size that opportunity & make it count!
Stick Legs said:
I was thinking about life in general when I turned 40 & came to the conclusion that you have 4 main phases.
Educate- 0-30 basically. Growing up & learning skills both in and out of formal education & work.
Accumulate- 30-50 roughly. Take what you have learned & apply it.
Appreciate- 50-70 roughly. Enjoy what you have achieved while you can.
Deteriorate- 70+. It comes to us all, but being prepared mentally for it makes as much sense as preparing financially.
I think a lot of ‘Mid Life Crisis’ behaviour is people realising that they haven’t accumulated enough or that they have and noticeably switch from accumulators to appreciators.
Health, money & time. Most people only have 2 of the 3 at any given moment.
If you have all 3 in one place size that opportunity & make it count!
Exactly this, we were very aware of this tree in our teens and pushed accordingly and its not just about the £s, there’s a whole load of stuff needed in there early on, that without it, makes the money pointless or worse, makes your life controlled by money, only ever use money to facilitate your life goals or it’ll end up owning you.Educate- 0-30 basically. Growing up & learning skills both in and out of formal education & work.
Accumulate- 30-50 roughly. Take what you have learned & apply it.
Appreciate- 50-70 roughly. Enjoy what you have achieved while you can.
Deteriorate- 70+. It comes to us all, but being prepared mentally for it makes as much sense as preparing financially.
I think a lot of ‘Mid Life Crisis’ behaviour is people realising that they haven’t accumulated enough or that they have and noticeably switch from accumulators to appreciators.
Health, money & time. Most people only have 2 of the 3 at any given moment.
If you have all 3 in one place size that opportunity & make it count!
The research shows a mid-life crisis is pretty much a western concept, but overall happiness in western countries are much higher than in other parts of the world. More importantly happiness appears to be correlated to survival very significantly, there is nearly a 20% difference in survival over 8.5 years between the happiest group and unhappiest group in English speaking high income countries.
Sadly the paper doesn’t tell you what to do about it, but it does show people living in sub-Saharan Africa report the lowest levels of happiness, followed by those in the former Soviet Union. As ever, money really does seem to be main variable that explains the overall trends.
https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/...
Sadly the paper doesn’t tell you what to do about it, but it does show people living in sub-Saharan Africa report the lowest levels of happiness, followed by those in the former Soviet Union. As ever, money really does seem to be main variable that explains the overall trends.
https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/...
There a few authors out there who say that, and I strongly believe :
There are 5/6/7/ 8 parts to wealth, and money is only one of them. I think MLC comes up, like a couple of posts above mentions because we have spend our time in our 20’s/30’s accumulating, that when we come to the appreciate phase , often it’s just money we’ve been accumulating and when we come to appreciate all the other areas we realise they have been neglected, or we realise and think it’s too late to invest in these other areas.
Examples :
Growth is an area of wealth. When we spend 20 years doing the same 9-5 we’ve likely not grown or spent time learning.
Health is also an area. When you get to your 40’s you start to notice things go wrong. Health should be something you don’t compromise. As someone famous once said (paraphrasing) : Health is wealth that only the ill understand’ .
Relationships are often neglected because use of kids and not many people understand they take work and investment.
There is so much to life that we neglect and in our 40/50’s we start to realise what life is about and what is important to ourselves and regret we haven’t invested in all areas.
I haven’t got it completely ‘sorted’ in my life either but having spent a few years wondering about the future, I know personal growth is one area that has been neglected, and will now be top of my agenda for a few years to come. This has been incredibly motivating and I feel I’ve got a spark that I’ve not had for a long time.
There are 5/6/7/ 8 parts to wealth, and money is only one of them. I think MLC comes up, like a couple of posts above mentions because we have spend our time in our 20’s/30’s accumulating, that when we come to the appreciate phase , often it’s just money we’ve been accumulating and when we come to appreciate all the other areas we realise they have been neglected, or we realise and think it’s too late to invest in these other areas.
Examples :
Growth is an area of wealth. When we spend 20 years doing the same 9-5 we’ve likely not grown or spent time learning.
Health is also an area. When you get to your 40’s you start to notice things go wrong. Health should be something you don’t compromise. As someone famous once said (paraphrasing) : Health is wealth that only the ill understand’ .
Relationships are often neglected because use of kids and not many people understand they take work and investment.
There is so much to life that we neglect and in our 40/50’s we start to realise what life is about and what is important to ourselves and regret we haven’t invested in all areas.
I haven’t got it completely ‘sorted’ in my life either but having spent a few years wondering about the future, I know personal growth is one area that has been neglected, and will now be top of my agenda for a few years to come. This has been incredibly motivating and I feel I’ve got a spark that I’ve not had for a long time.
gangzoom said:
The research shows a mid-life crisis is pretty much a western concept, but overall happiness in western countries are much higher than in other parts of the world.
It’s possibly not just limited to humans. https://www.theguardian.com/science/2012/nov/19/ch...
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/dgbmvN2Q...
Stick Legs said:
I was thinking about life in general when I turned 40 & came to the conclusion that you have 4 main phases.
Educate- 0-30 basically. Growing up & learning skills both in and out of formal education & work.
Accumulate- 30-50 roughly. Take what you have learned & apply it.
Appreciate- 50-70 roughly. Enjoy what you have achieved while you can.
Deteriorate- 70+. It comes to us all, but being prepared mentally for it makes as much sense as preparing financially.
I think a lot of ‘Mid Life Crisis’ behaviour is people realising that they haven’t accumulated enough or that they have and noticeably switch from accumulators to appreciators.
This is a really good summation imo. Educate- 0-30 basically. Growing up & learning skills both in and out of formal education & work.
Accumulate- 30-50 roughly. Take what you have learned & apply it.
Appreciate- 50-70 roughly. Enjoy what you have achieved while you can.
Deteriorate- 70+. It comes to us all, but being prepared mentally for it makes as much sense as preparing financially.
I think a lot of ‘Mid Life Crisis’ behaviour is people realising that they haven’t accumulated enough or that they have and noticeably switch from accumulators to appreciators.
thepritch said:
There a few authors out there who say that, and I strongly believe :
There are 5/6/7/ 8 parts to wealth, and money is only one of them. I think MLC comes up, like a couple of posts above mentions because we have spend our time in our 20’s/30’s accumulating, that when we come to the appreciate phase , often it’s just money we’ve been accumulating and when we come to appreciate all the other areas we realise they have been neglected, or we realise and think it’s too late to invest in these other areas.
Examples :
Growth is an area of wealth. When we spend 20 years doing the same 9-5 we’ve likely not grown or spent time learning.
Health is also an area. When you get to your 40’s you start to notice things go wrong. Health should be something you don’t compromise. As someone famous once said (paraphrasing) : Health is wealth that only the ill understand’ .
Relationships are often neglected because use of kids and not many people understand they take work and investment.
There is so much to life that we neglect and in our 40/50’s we start to realise what life is about and what is important to ourselves and regret we haven’t invested in all areas.
I haven’t got it completely ‘sorted’ in my life either but having spent a few years wondering about the future, I know personal growth is one area that has been neglected, and will now be top of my agenda for a few years to come. This has been incredibly motivating and I feel I’ve got a spark that I’ve not had for a long time.
That's what I'm now nakedly aware of. What life is actually about. I spent my 20s and early 30s chasing validation through achievement and money. Now I've hit 36 with a relationship on the brink and it's shaken my entire being to the core. What the fThere are 5/6/7/ 8 parts to wealth, and money is only one of them. I think MLC comes up, like a couple of posts above mentions because we have spend our time in our 20’s/30’s accumulating, that when we come to the appreciate phase , often it’s just money we’ve been accumulating and when we come to appreciate all the other areas we realise they have been neglected, or we realise and think it’s too late to invest in these other areas.
Examples :
Growth is an area of wealth. When we spend 20 years doing the same 9-5 we’ve likely not grown or spent time learning.
Health is also an area. When you get to your 40’s you start to notice things go wrong. Health should be something you don’t compromise. As someone famous once said (paraphrasing) : Health is wealth that only the ill understand’ .
Relationships are often neglected because use of kids and not many people understand they take work and investment.
There is so much to life that we neglect and in our 40/50’s we start to realise what life is about and what is important to ourselves and regret we haven’t invested in all areas.
I haven’t got it completely ‘sorted’ in my life either but having spent a few years wondering about the future, I know personal growth is one area that has been neglected, and will now be top of my agenda for a few years to come. This has been incredibly motivating and I feel I’ve got a spark that I’ve not had for a long time.
k was I playing at. I didn't spend enough time doing what I wanted or with who I wanted to do it with. I only cared about being "the best" and not making mistakes. I lay awake all last night ruminating. I'm red eyed and tired today. Things I've done since my first post in this thread:
- said I love you to my parents and gave them big hugs (went home specifically for the weekend to do it)
- enjoyed a night out with my autistic brother
- been present with my best friend and her husband
- thought things through about 5000 times
- wrote draft letters to my OH about what I feel and how we might broach the gulf between us
On top of my usual BS focus on work as that gave me validation I've also come out of a really deep depression - I'm not sure if I'm out of it but at least I'm not comatose - from the last 9 months since my last grandparent died. I don't remember Oct-Dec 2023.
So FFS I need to make up for lost time. Yes I have a nice house, a good job and a nice car but I really don't care about that right now. This weekend I'm going to try and have a proper conversation with my OH about what we both want.
GroundEffect said:
Things I've done since my first post in this thread:
- said I love you to my parents and gave them big hugs (went home specifically for the weekend to do it)
- enjoyed a night out with my autistic brother
- been present with my best friend and her husband
- thought things through about 5000 times
- wrote draft letters to my OH about what I feel and how we might broach the gulf between us
On top of my usual BS focus on work as that gave me validation I've also come out of a really deep depression - I'm not sure if I'm out of it but at least I'm not comatose - from the last 9 months since my last grandparent died. I don't remember Oct-Dec 2023.
So FFS I need to make up for lost time. Yes I have a nice house, a good job and a nice car but I really don't care about that right now. This weekend I'm going to try and have a proper conversation with my OH about what we both want.
That sounds like progress.- said I love you to my parents and gave them big hugs (went home specifically for the weekend to do it)
- enjoyed a night out with my autistic brother
- been present with my best friend and her husband
- thought things through about 5000 times
- wrote draft letters to my OH about what I feel and how we might broach the gulf between us
On top of my usual BS focus on work as that gave me validation I've also come out of a really deep depression - I'm not sure if I'm out of it but at least I'm not comatose - from the last 9 months since my last grandparent died. I don't remember Oct-Dec 2023.
So FFS I need to make up for lost time. Yes I have a nice house, a good job and a nice car but I really don't care about that right now. This weekend I'm going to try and have a proper conversation with my OH about what we both want.
thepritch said:
Health is also an area. When you get to your 40’s you start to notice things go wrong. Health should be something you don’t compromise. As someone famous once said (paraphrasing) : Health is wealth that only the ill understand’ .
I am 50, this is something I am starting to realise and totally took for granted when I was younger. Things I wish I had done differently when I was younger1)Looked after my teeth more
2)Paid more into a pension when I was younger
3)Never went into the sun without sun screen / never got sun burn.
What I have realised as I have got older
1)I don't give a f
k what people think anymore. I spent way too many years worried about what people might think of me and it really held me back.2)I don't care about material things, I don't care about having a nice car, latest iPhone etc.
3)I don't care about having a bigger house, well not enough to actually want to work to earn the money to pay for it.
I am reasonably happy with my lot in life now, I certainly don't feel the urge to change everything like I used to when I was younger.
ThingsBehindTheSun said:
I am 50, this is something I am starting to realise and totally took for granted when I was younger. Things I wish I had done differently when I was younger
1)Looked after my teeth more
2)Paid more into a pension when I was younger
3)Never went into the sun without sun screen / never got sun burn.
What I have realised as I have got older
1)I don't give a fk what people think anymore. I spent way too many years worried about what people might think of me and it really held me back.
2)I don't care about material things, I don't care about having a nice car, latest iPhone etc.
3)I don't care about having a bigger house, well not enough to actually want to work to earn the money to pay for it.
I am reasonably happy with my lot in life now, I certainly don't feel the urge to change everything like I used to when I was younger.
1)Looked after my teeth more
2)Paid more into a pension when I was younger
3)Never went into the sun without sun screen / never got sun burn.
What I have realised as I have got older
1)I don't give a f
k what people think anymore. I spent way too many years worried about what people might think of me and it really held me back.2)I don't care about material things, I don't care about having a nice car, latest iPhone etc.
3)I don't care about having a bigger house, well not enough to actually want to work to earn the money to pay for it.
I am reasonably happy with my lot in life now, I certainly don't feel the urge to change everything like I used to when I was younger.
to all of this!Not quite sure how this will come across, but like you, I'm past caring now. I think people get too hung up on 'achievements' and comparisons with other folk. Ultimately, we just exist, and our lives have little meaning in the grand scheme of things, especially in the context of the universe, let alone just this planet. It's quite liberating to take stock of this, and to just try and enjoy life without thinking that I've underachieved, or I should have done "this or that". b
ks to it. Enjoy the here and now as it can all be ended in an instant.TameRacingDriver said:
to all of this!Not quite sure how this will come across, but like you, I'm past caring now. I think people get too hung up on 'achievements' and comparisons with other folk. Ultimately, we just exist, and our lives have little meaning in the grand scheme of things, especially in the context of the universe, let alone just this planet. It's quite liberating to take stock of this, and to just try and enjoy life without thinking that I've underachieved, or I should have done "this or that". b
ks to it. Enjoy the here and now as it can all be ended in an instant.Either the acceptance that you've failed to match up to your youthful aspirations or the realisation that you've wasted your best years trying.
trevalvole said:
GroundEffect said:
Things I've done since my first post in this thread:
- said I love you to my parents and gave them big hugs (went home specifically for the weekend to do it)
- enjoyed a night out with my autistic brother
- been present with my best friend and her husband
- thought things through about 5000 times
- wrote draft letters to my OH about what I feel and how we might broach the gulf between us
On top of my usual BS focus on work as that gave me validation I've also come out of a really deep depression - I'm not sure if I'm out of it but at least I'm not comatose - from the last 9 months since my last grandparent died. I don't remember Oct-Dec 2023.
So FFS I need to make up for lost time. Yes I have a nice house, a good job and a nice car but I really don't care about that right now. This weekend I'm going to try and have a proper conversation with my OH about what we both want.
That sounds like progress.- said I love you to my parents and gave them big hugs (went home specifically for the weekend to do it)
- enjoyed a night out with my autistic brother
- been present with my best friend and her husband
- thought things through about 5000 times
- wrote draft letters to my OH about what I feel and how we might broach the gulf between us
On top of my usual BS focus on work as that gave me validation I've also come out of a really deep depression - I'm not sure if I'm out of it but at least I'm not comatose - from the last 9 months since my last grandparent died. I don't remember Oct-Dec 2023.
So FFS I need to make up for lost time. Yes I have a nice house, a good job and a nice car but I really don't care about that right now. This weekend I'm going to try and have a proper conversation with my OH about what we both want.
thepritch said:
There a few authors out there who say that, and I strongly believe :
There are 5/6/7/ 8 parts to wealth, and money is only one of them. I think MLC comes up, like a couple of posts above mentions because we have spend our time in our 20’s/30’s accumulating, that when we come to the appreciate phase , often it’s just money we’ve been accumulating and when we come to appreciate all the other areas we realise they have been neglected, or we realise and think it’s too late to invest in these other areas.
Examples :
Growth is an area of wealth. When we spend 20 years doing the same 9-5 we’ve likely not grown or spent time learning.
Health is also an area. When you get to your 40’s you start to notice things go wrong. Health should be something you don’t compromise. As someone famous once said (paraphrasing) : Health is wealth that only the ill understand’ .
Relationships are often neglected because use of kids and not many people understand they take work and investment.
There is so much to life that we neglect and in our 40/50’s we start to realise what life is about and what is important to ourselves and regret we haven’t invested in all areas.
I haven’t got it completely ‘sorted’ in my life either but having spent a few years wondering about the future, I know personal growth is one area that has been neglected, and will now be top of my agenda for a few years to come. This has been incredibly motivating and I feel I’ve got a spark that I’ve not had for a long time.
Good post.There are 5/6/7/ 8 parts to wealth, and money is only one of them. I think MLC comes up, like a couple of posts above mentions because we have spend our time in our 20’s/30’s accumulating, that when we come to the appreciate phase , often it’s just money we’ve been accumulating and when we come to appreciate all the other areas we realise they have been neglected, or we realise and think it’s too late to invest in these other areas.
Examples :
Growth is an area of wealth. When we spend 20 years doing the same 9-5 we’ve likely not grown or spent time learning.
Health is also an area. When you get to your 40’s you start to notice things go wrong. Health should be something you don’t compromise. As someone famous once said (paraphrasing) : Health is wealth that only the ill understand’ .
Relationships are often neglected because use of kids and not many people understand they take work and investment.
There is so much to life that we neglect and in our 40/50’s we start to realise what life is about and what is important to ourselves and regret we haven’t invested in all areas.
I haven’t got it completely ‘sorted’ in my life either but having spent a few years wondering about the future, I know personal growth is one area that has been neglected, and will now be top of my agenda for a few years to come. This has been incredibly motivating and I feel I’ve got a spark that I’ve not had for a long time.
The bit in bold is particularly interesting to me; we had kids relatively late, but the "ever decreasing circles" had already begun to kick in, both with childless friends and friends with kids.
True, children really do take a lot of time. But from my experiences (both with friends and myself) house ownership seems to be more relevant to when someone becomes antisocial. Apart from the financial implications people feel like they finally have a cave to retire to at night, all cosy, so the act of getting up and going out is a chore. Even if you always enjoy it once you are out.
It's why we spend so much on soft furnishings and home entertainment devices!
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