Effing cancer is an effing effer, frankly
Discussion
I'm 52, had a circle of friends since I was 18/19. We never messed around with each other, it was just too weird. As time wore on, we drifted apart a little and one girl 'Lucy' got married and settled down.
She had one girl 'M' and was expecting another.
She went into labour with her second child 'W' and her husband was called and given the news. On the way to his wife's side, he crashed his car and died. Lucy had to give birth after being given the news.
In later years, her daughter 'M' developed two brain tumours. I hear she has fully recovered.
Lucy then developed breast cancer some years ago. She was given treatment and it seemed to be ok. Then three weeks ago she noticed she was bloating so went to see her consultant who did some tests.
As is heard repeatedly, it had come back aggressively and he said he couldn't help her. She died a week ago, aged 48, leaving her two children (19 &16) without any parents.
She was the most pleasant person you could wish to meet. She was generally thrilled to see you anytime. I'm gutted I'll no longer see her face.
I told this to someone at work and she said "God takes the best to heaven".
You can guess how that conversation went!
She had one girl 'M' and was expecting another.
She went into labour with her second child 'W' and her husband was called and given the news. On the way to his wife's side, he crashed his car and died. Lucy had to give birth after being given the news.
In later years, her daughter 'M' developed two brain tumours. I hear she has fully recovered.
Lucy then developed breast cancer some years ago. She was given treatment and it seemed to be ok. Then three weeks ago she noticed she was bloating so went to see her consultant who did some tests.
As is heard repeatedly, it had come back aggressively and he said he couldn't help her. She died a week ago, aged 48, leaving her two children (19 &16) without any parents.
She was the most pleasant person you could wish to meet. She was generally thrilled to see you anytime. I'm gutted I'll no longer see her face.
I told this to someone at work and she said "God takes the best to heaven".
You can guess how that conversation went!
Fastchas said:
I'm 52, had a circle of friends since I was 18/19. We never messed around with each other, it was just too weird. As time wore on, we drifted apart a little and one girl 'Lucy' got married and settled down.
She had one girl 'M' and was expecting another.
She went into labour with her second child 'W' and her husband was called and given the news. On the way to his wife's side, he crashed his car and died. Lucy had to give birth after being given the news.
In later years, her daughter 'M' developed two brain tumours. I hear she has fully recovered.
Lucy then developed breast cancer some years ago. She was given treatment and it seemed to be ok. Then three weeks ago she noticed she was bloating so went to see her consultant who did some tests.
As is heard repeatedly, it had come back aggressively and he said he couldn't help her. She died a week ago, aged 48, leaving her two children (19 &16) without any parents.
She was the most pleasant person you could wish to meet. She was generally thrilled to see you anytime. I'm gutted I'll no longer see her face.
I told this to someone at work and she said "God takes the best to heaven".
You can guess how that conversation went!
Crikey that’s a very tragic story . She had one girl 'M' and was expecting another.
She went into labour with her second child 'W' and her husband was called and given the news. On the way to his wife's side, he crashed his car and died. Lucy had to give birth after being given the news.
In later years, her daughter 'M' developed two brain tumours. I hear she has fully recovered.
Lucy then developed breast cancer some years ago. She was given treatment and it seemed to be ok. Then three weeks ago she noticed she was bloating so went to see her consultant who did some tests.
As is heard repeatedly, it had come back aggressively and he said he couldn't help her. She died a week ago, aged 48, leaving her two children (19 &16) without any parents.
She was the most pleasant person you could wish to meet. She was generally thrilled to see you anytime. I'm gutted I'll no longer see her face.
I told this to someone at work and she said "God takes the best to heaven".
You can guess how that conversation went!
Puts a lot into perspective.
I hope the children have every success in life
billflin said:
I am now on day six of my cycle of carboplatin.
The side effects have been much milder than I had anticipated, which has been a relief. The anti-nausea meds really worked for me and I have not really felt sick at all, although the indigestion has been bad at times. My sleep has been very poor and I am definitely in the "exhausted" phase now, but do feel that I am working my way out of it.
Thanks to all who have offered support/guidance. Best of luck to those facing this disease in its many forms.
Hi BillflinThe side effects have been much milder than I had anticipated, which has been a relief. The anti-nausea meds really worked for me and I have not really felt sick at all, although the indigestion has been bad at times. My sleep has been very poor and I am definitely in the "exhausted" phase now, but do feel that I am working my way out of it.
Thanks to all who have offered support/guidance. Best of luck to those facing this disease in its many forms.
Very glad you’re getting through it, sounds just like my experience.
How did you get on Factorybacked? Fingers crossed for you!
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Fastchas said:
I told this to someone at work and she said "God takes the best to heaven".
You can guess how that conversation went!
Just ignore them, anyone who believes that is beyond help. If you could reason with religious people, there wouldn't be any! You can guess how that conversation went!
There are many many people for whom the thought that a loved one has ascended to a better place gives great comfort. I suspect the colleague is one and was simply trying to offer solace in the best way she knew how.
K50 DEL said:
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Fastchas said:
I told this to someone at work and she said "God takes the best to heaven".
You can guess how that conversation went!
Just ignore them, anyone who believes that is beyond help. If you could reason with religious people, there wouldn't be any! You can guess how that conversation went!
There are many many people for whom the thought that a loved one has ascended to a better place gives great comfort. I suspect the colleague is one and was simply trying to offer solace in the best way she knew how.
Like the concept of original sin, just a really vile philosophy.
TwigtheWonderkid said:
K50 DEL said:
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Fastchas said:
I told this to someone at work and she said "God takes the best to heaven".
You can guess how that conversation went!
Just ignore them, anyone who believes that is beyond help. If you could reason with religious people, there wouldn't be any! You can guess how that conversation went!
There are many many people for whom the thought that a loved one has ascended to a better place gives great comfort. I suspect the colleague is one and was simply trying to offer solace in the best way she knew how.
Like the concept of original sin, just a really vile philosophy.
She's Irish RC, so beyond help really.
Fastchas said:
TwigtheWonderkid said:
K50 DEL said:
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Fastchas said:
I told this to someone at work and she said "God takes the best to heaven".
You can guess how that conversation went!
Just ignore them, anyone who believes that is beyond help. If you could reason with religious people, there wouldn't be any! You can guess how that conversation went!
There are many many people for whom the thought that a loved one has ascended to a better place gives great comfort. I suspect the colleague is one and was simply trying to offer solace in the best way she knew how.
Like the concept of original sin, just a really vile philosophy.
She's Irish RC, so beyond help really.
I honestly hope that you're both just a couple of keyboard warriors because if you genuinely think that's an acceptable thing to say to someone who (almost certainly) was simply trying to be nice then I think you both need to go and take a long hard look at yourselves.
I hope nothing nasty ever happen in your lives because if this is how you treat people then I doubt you'll be getting any sympathy from anyone.
Vile, simply vile.
K50 DEL said:
Fastchas said:
TwigtheWonderkid said:
K50 DEL said:
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Fastchas said:
I told this to someone at work and she said "God takes the best to heaven".
You can guess how that conversation went!
Just ignore them, anyone who believes that is beyond help. If you could reason with religious people, there wouldn't be any! You can guess how that conversation went!
There are many many people for whom the thought that a loved one has ascended to a better place gives great comfort. I suspect the colleague is one and was simply trying to offer solace in the best way she knew how.
Like the concept of original sin, just a really vile philosophy.
She's Irish RC, so beyond help really.
I honestly hope that you're both just a couple of keyboard warriors because if you genuinely think that's an acceptable thing to say to someone who (almost certainly) was simply trying to be nice then I think you both need to go and take a long hard look at yourselves.
I hope nothing nasty ever happen in your lives because if this is how you treat people then I doubt you'll be getting any sympathy from anyone.
Vile, simply vile.
Played a charity cricket game a couple of weeks ago to celebrate the life of Danny - with whom I played from the age of 12. Pancreatic Cancer took him at 46
A team of lads I grew up playing with came out of retirement to play a social side in his memory. We were going to have a minute's applause but it was decided to honour him in a way he would have appreciated - so we stood either side of the wicket and all had a drink
It was a fantastic occasion - with his brother and cousin both playing and his Dad saying a few words before we started. Mum, wife and his daughters were all there as well
Was very sad acknowledging him not being there, but we managed to raise £1200 for the hospice where he passed
I don't think effing effer sums it up adequately to be honest
The biggest surprise of the day - our ex Aussie overseas just happened to be in the country visiting his son (who is currently over here playing for the summer). He insisted on coming along and playing. Top bloke!
A team of lads I grew up playing with came out of retirement to play a social side in his memory. We were going to have a minute's applause but it was decided to honour him in a way he would have appreciated - so we stood either side of the wicket and all had a drink
It was a fantastic occasion - with his brother and cousin both playing and his Dad saying a few words before we started. Mum, wife and his daughters were all there as well
Was very sad acknowledging him not being there, but we managed to raise £1200 for the hospice where he passed
I don't think effing effer sums it up adequately to be honest
The biggest surprise of the day - our ex Aussie overseas just happened to be in the country visiting his son (who is currently over here playing for the summer). He insisted on coming along and playing. Top bloke!
Pieman68 said:
Played a charity cricket game a couple of weeks ago to celebrate the life of Danny - with whom I played from the age of 12. Pancreatic Cancer took him at 46
A team of lads I grew up playing with came out of retirement to play a social side in his memory. We were going to have a minute's applause but it was decided to honour him in a way he would have appreciated - so we stood either side of the wicket and all had a drink
It was a fantastic occasion - with his brother and cousin both playing and his Dad saying a few words before we started. Mum, wife and his daughters were all there as well
Was very sad acknowledging him not being there, but we managed to raise £1200 for the hospice where he passed
I don't think effing effer sums it up adequately to be honest
The biggest surprise of the day - our ex Aussie overseas just happened to be in the country visiting his son (who is currently over here playing for the summer). He insisted on coming along and playing. Top bloke!
Lovely tribute A team of lads I grew up playing with came out of retirement to play a social side in his memory. We were going to have a minute's applause but it was decided to honour him in a way he would have appreciated - so we stood either side of the wicket and all had a drink
It was a fantastic occasion - with his brother and cousin both playing and his Dad saying a few words before we started. Mum, wife and his daughters were all there as well
Was very sad acknowledging him not being there, but we managed to raise £1200 for the hospice where he passed
I don't think effing effer sums it up adequately to be honest
The biggest surprise of the day - our ex Aussie overseas just happened to be in the country visiting his son (who is currently over here playing for the summer). He insisted on coming along and playing. Top bloke!
Sorry to hear about your chum passing at 46, but what a fabulous way of remembering him. I had two good friends who died of cancer in 2020 - my old friend Zak who was one of the most inspirational and human people I have ever met, sadly taken by a brain tumour at 46 aswell. The same year another old friend, Ruth, who was a high flying lawyer in the Australian Army, died of breast cancer only in her early 30s. Both were wonderful, otherwise extremely healthy and fit people who deserved far better than they got.
As I posted earlier on, I was diagnosed with tonsil and lymph node cancer a couple of months ago and had my op to remove the tonsils and affected lymph nodes at the start of Jul spending 5 days in my local NHS hospital. It was an uncomfortable but not too painful experience, although eating was extremely difficult/painful and is now pain free but still difficult. I have had a month away from work and am going back next week, I had my surgery results last week which was not all good news. I have nerve damage to my right lip, ankle/right foot (this is likely due to spending so long in hospital) and the right side of my head/neck/face. What this means is I fall over a bit as I keep catching my foot on things, I bite my lip when I chew, slur my speech and have a weird lopsided smile, both of these should fix themselves but sadly my head/neck/face nerve loss is permanent. Because the cancer had spread to the soft tissue, they could not remove it all and had to cut the main nerve to remove what they did get out. So the double whammy of they didn’t get all the cancer and I now have permanent nerve damage (feels like the right side of my head is made of plastic). However the small upside is they confirmed the variant of cancer I have is treatable…..and I have a fairly brutal treatment round planned.
I should meet my oncologist next week for the first time, where I find out what my chances are and exactly how the treatment is going to take place, where and when. The rough plan is hearing and dental assessment (the treatment will affect my hearing/teeth), face mask fitting, then day surgery to install a feeding tube into my stomach. Then at some stage probably in Sep I start 6 weeks daily radiotherapy with weekly chemotherapy. This will blister and burn my neck/throat such that after about 2-3 weeks I won’t be able to use my mouth and will have to use my tube for water, food and pain relief. The side effects will probably last for 3 weeks after the treatment stops too. It is totally overwhelming but I have met no the macmillan forums people who have been through similar experiences.
To be honest it’s terrifying too, we were meant to be on holiday this week (cancelled of course) and managed a day out yesterday to Anglesey, which was lovely. I sat on the beach watching my kids play and thought - is this the last holiday I’ll ever go on?
As I posted earlier on, I was diagnosed with tonsil and lymph node cancer a couple of months ago and had my op to remove the tonsils and affected lymph nodes at the start of Jul spending 5 days in my local NHS hospital. It was an uncomfortable but not too painful experience, although eating was extremely difficult/painful and is now pain free but still difficult. I have had a month away from work and am going back next week, I had my surgery results last week which was not all good news. I have nerve damage to my right lip, ankle/right foot (this is likely due to spending so long in hospital) and the right side of my head/neck/face. What this means is I fall over a bit as I keep catching my foot on things, I bite my lip when I chew, slur my speech and have a weird lopsided smile, both of these should fix themselves but sadly my head/neck/face nerve loss is permanent. Because the cancer had spread to the soft tissue, they could not remove it all and had to cut the main nerve to remove what they did get out. So the double whammy of they didn’t get all the cancer and I now have permanent nerve damage (feels like the right side of my head is made of plastic). However the small upside is they confirmed the variant of cancer I have is treatable…..and I have a fairly brutal treatment round planned.
I should meet my oncologist next week for the first time, where I find out what my chances are and exactly how the treatment is going to take place, where and when. The rough plan is hearing and dental assessment (the treatment will affect my hearing/teeth), face mask fitting, then day surgery to install a feeding tube into my stomach. Then at some stage probably in Sep I start 6 weeks daily radiotherapy with weekly chemotherapy. This will blister and burn my neck/throat such that after about 2-3 weeks I won’t be able to use my mouth and will have to use my tube for water, food and pain relief. The side effects will probably last for 3 weeks after the treatment stops too. It is totally overwhelming but I have met no the macmillan forums people who have been through similar experiences.
To be honest it’s terrifying too, we were meant to be on holiday this week (cancelled of course) and managed a day out yesterday to Anglesey, which was lovely. I sat on the beach watching my kids play and thought - is this the last holiday I’ll ever go on?
Siko said:
Sorry to hear about your chum passing at 46, but what a fabulous way of remembering him. I had two good friends who died of cancer in 2020 - my old friend Zak who was one of the most inspirational and human people I have ever met, sadly taken by a brain tumour at 46 aswell. The same year another old friend, Ruth, who was a high flying lawyer in the Australian Army, died of breast cancer only in her early 30s. Both were wonderful, otherwise extremely healthy and fit people who deserved far better than they got.
As I posted earlier on, I was diagnosed with tonsil and lymph node cancer a couple of months ago and had my op to remove the tonsils and affected lymph nodes at the start of Jul spending 5 days in my local NHS hospital. It was an uncomfortable but not too painful experience, although eating was extremely difficult/painful and is now pain free but still difficult. I have had a month away from work and am going back next week, I had my surgery results last week which was not all good news. I have nerve damage to my right lip, ankle/right foot (this is likely due to spending so long in hospital) and the right side of my head/neck/face. What this means is I fall over a bit as I keep catching my foot on things, I bite my lip when I chew, slur my speech and have a weird lopsided smile, both of these should fix themselves but sadly my head/neck/face nerve loss is permanent. Because the cancer had spread to the soft tissue, they could not remove it all and had to cut the main nerve to remove what they did get out. So the double whammy of they didn’t get all the cancer and I now have permanent nerve damage (feels like the right side of my head is made of plastic). However the small upside is they confirmed the variant of cancer I have is treatable…..and I have a fairly brutal treatment round planned.
I should meet my oncologist next week for the first time, where I find out what my chances are and exactly how the treatment is going to take place, where and when. The rough plan is hearing and dental assessment (the treatment will affect my hearing/teeth), face mask fitting, then day surgery to install a feeding tube into my stomach. Then at some stage probably in Sep I start 6 weeks daily radiotherapy with weekly chemotherapy. This will blister and burn my neck/throat such that after about 2-3 weeks I won’t be able to use my mouth and will have to use my tube for water, food and pain relief. The side effects will probably last for 3 weeks after the treatment stops too. It is totally overwhelming but I have met no the macmillan forums people who have been through similar experiences.
To be honest it’s terrifying too, we were meant to be on holiday this week (cancelled of course) and managed a day out yesterday to Anglesey, which was lovely. I sat on the beach watching my kids play and thought - is this the last holiday I’ll ever go on?
Siko- just reading your post . As I posted earlier on, I was diagnosed with tonsil and lymph node cancer a couple of months ago and had my op to remove the tonsils and affected lymph nodes at the start of Jul spending 5 days in my local NHS hospital. It was an uncomfortable but not too painful experience, although eating was extremely difficult/painful and is now pain free but still difficult. I have had a month away from work and am going back next week, I had my surgery results last week which was not all good news. I have nerve damage to my right lip, ankle/right foot (this is likely due to spending so long in hospital) and the right side of my head/neck/face. What this means is I fall over a bit as I keep catching my foot on things, I bite my lip when I chew, slur my speech and have a weird lopsided smile, both of these should fix themselves but sadly my head/neck/face nerve loss is permanent. Because the cancer had spread to the soft tissue, they could not remove it all and had to cut the main nerve to remove what they did get out. So the double whammy of they didn’t get all the cancer and I now have permanent nerve damage (feels like the right side of my head is made of plastic). However the small upside is they confirmed the variant of cancer I have is treatable…..and I have a fairly brutal treatment round planned.
I should meet my oncologist next week for the first time, where I find out what my chances are and exactly how the treatment is going to take place, where and when. The rough plan is hearing and dental assessment (the treatment will affect my hearing/teeth), face mask fitting, then day surgery to install a feeding tube into my stomach. Then at some stage probably in Sep I start 6 weeks daily radiotherapy with weekly chemotherapy. This will blister and burn my neck/throat such that after about 2-3 weeks I won’t be able to use my mouth and will have to use my tube for water, food and pain relief. The side effects will probably last for 3 weeks after the treatment stops too. It is totally overwhelming but I have met no the macmillan forums people who have been through similar experiences.
To be honest it’s terrifying too, we were meant to be on holiday this week (cancelled of course) and managed a day out yesterday to Anglesey, which was lovely. I sat on the beach watching my kids play and thought - is this the last holiday I’ll ever go on?
Firstly sorry to hear about your friends passing .
You are are fighter and fighters win .
I’ve not been through cancer myself but I know others that have and now completely out the other side .
They also went through some horrible stages during the fight but now have a full on active live as they had prior to being diagnosed.
Hang on in there mate . Keeping the fight up will see you through . Just think of that buddy
Siko said:
To be honest it’s terrifying too, we were meant to be on holiday this week (cancelled of course) and managed a day out yesterday to Anglesey, which was lovely. I sat on the beach watching my kids play and thought - is this the last holiday I’ll ever go on?
Hopefully not, but treasure every day and every moment with your family. After a year of intense treatment (wife) we're now having a summer of intense holidaying 
Genuinely a year ago this seemed impossible. We had a truly bleak picture painted. It's still far less than ideal, but all the docs and consultants genuinely want to give you the best chance. They asked my wife if she wanted to keep her face mask after the 6 weeks. She said no, I probably would have turned it into a wall planter or something!
All the best Siko
Siko said:
Thank you chaps. Obviously we don’t know each other but your words mean a huge amount, thank you. It’s good to hear about people coming out the other side too like your wife. All the best, Si
A good friend of mine has (I believe) a very similar cancer to you but is a few months into the recovery stage after having the treatments etc. earlier this year. He’s a top bloke and very open about it all, if you are after someone to speak to who has recent first hand experience, I’m sure he would….
Hodgie said:
billflin said:
I am now on day six of my cycle of carboplatin.
The side effects have been much milder than I had anticipated, which has been a relief. The anti-nausea meds really worked for me and I have not really felt sick at all, although the indigestion has been bad at times. My sleep has been very poor and I am definitely in the "exhausted" phase now, but do feel that I am working my way out of it.
Thanks to all who have offered support/guidance. Best of luck to those facing this disease in its many forms.
Hi BillflinThe side effects have been much milder than I had anticipated, which has been a relief. The anti-nausea meds really worked for me and I have not really felt sick at all, although the indigestion has been bad at times. My sleep has been very poor and I am definitely in the "exhausted" phase now, but do feel that I am working my way out of it.
Thanks to all who have offered support/guidance. Best of luck to those facing this disease in its many forms.
Very glad you’re getting through it, sounds just like my experience.
How did you get on Factorybacked? Fingers crossed for you!
Siko, I can relate to your feelings. We were expecting our first child when I was diagnosed and, whilst I was pretty relaxed and positive about everything, there were moments when I wondered if I'd ever get to meet him. Good luck with the treatment. Hopefully it will all be a distant memory soon enough.
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