TheSecretSurgeon - Ask me anything - go for it!

[TheSecretSurgeon]

Greshamst said:

What’s the most embarrassing reason that a patient has ended up in front of you for?

The usual.

I have a vibrator up my ***

nuyorican said:

Do you get your pick of the nurses?

Have you ever heard of anything dropped into an open cadaver by mistake? Watch/ring/ash off the end of your ciggie?

Is it an urban myth or does an anaesthetic occasionally fail leaving the patient conscious but paralysed and having to endure the procedure? I'm guessing, hoping that monitoring equipment would pick up on this, and that the anaesthetic is a mix of potions... a 'Belt & Braces' approach, also, what do they use? Apologies if I should save this one for the 'Anaesthetist - Ask Me Anything' thread.

Thanks

Nurses: Yes.
The bad guys used to say "nurses are like a dart board, you can have as many goes as you like, you just get your aim in and eventually hit the bullseye."
In my junior doctor days I had dalliances with:
Student nurse, Nurse, ward sister, Microbiology technician (werido), Physio, Occupational therapist, other doctors (obvs), Dietician (max points for this), Paramedic, and Never a patient because thats beyond weird and wrong.

TwigtheWonderkid said:

If your cat needed an op, or broke it's leg and it needed fixing, and you didn't have pet insurance, would you pay the vet £4K or would you fancy your chances and have a crack at it yourself.

I don't have the correct sized equipment or facilities.

But otherwise, hell yes.

[CharlesdeGaulle]

Do you wear crocs in surgery? If yes, do you have any shred of self-respect?

Good thread by the way, and goodonyer for the brilliant things you folk do. I saw some amazing things in the army, people I knew would die being saved by brilliant medical staff. Respect.

[TheSecretSurgeon]

nuyorican said:

First off: Wow, what a job. Respect!
Have you ever heard of anything dropped into an open cadaver by mistake? Watch/ring/ash off the end of your ciggie?

Is it an urban myth or does an anaesthetic occasionally fail leaving the patient conscious but paralysed and having to endure the procedure? I'm guessing, hoping that monitoring equipment would pick up on this, and that the anaesthetic is a mix of potions... a 'Belt & Braces' approach, also, what do they use? Apologies if I should save this one for the 'Anaesthetist - Ask Me Anything' thread.

Thanks

Cadaver is a dead person, you mean patient.
We count everything in and out very carefully about 3 times, and nothing has ever been left behind in one of my operations.
But it does happen and is one of the Never Events. The government collects data about them.

Patient awake during procedure:
Very very very rare and less likely than dying in a car crash on your way home from the hospital, is my understanding.

ian in lancs said:

Who carves the turkey in your house?

Me, but I cut flesh for a living.

Also see previous answer about legendary skillz.

Sorry these answers are out of sync.

[TheSecretSurgeon]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

Do you wear crocs in surgery? If yes, do you have any shred of self-respect?

Good thread by the way, and goodonyer for the brilliant things you folk do. I saw some amazing things in the army, people I knew would die being saved by brilliant medical staff. Respect.

Serious answer: Come over my end and tell me the same when I'm putting your broken bones back into the skin and fixing you up. They are shoes worn in the theatre and nobody in this room cares a single thing about style. The room is 100.00% function.
Amicable answer: They are non-slip, non-sparking (flammable gases), very comfy to wear for a 4 hour operation, and I can put them through the clog washer when they are caked in other humans' blood.

I don't wear socks in my crocs, which is really going to mess with your noggin, so I often have drippy blood on my toes.
but blood is sterile and not that bad.

[paulguitar]

TheSecretSurgeon said:

MXRod said:

Meralgia paresthetica , numb skin upper thigh , caused by a trapped/damaged nerve
I have had this for some time now , my GP has said essentially I have to live with it , I am now getting waves of a hot/cold feeling and tingles .
Is there an invasive proceedure to deal with it. Or do I have to live with it ?

There are lots of other things to try, Ask to be referred on to the hospital

Digger said:

What's the funniest moment you have had whilst operating etc?

I was once assisting (second in command) during an operation and the surgeon said "cripes this woman is so fat it's a wonder we can find her hip, what a fatty. It reminds me of one like this about 3 years ago, I needed a rope tied around me ankles"

At which point the patient, who was awake (spinal injection not GA) said "yes that was me, you made the same joke about the rope last time and I was awake then too "

We all looked for a hole in the ground to swallow us up.

essayer said:

Did the leg get put back on then?

the muscle and skin was harvested to be put onto the stump, which was veyr short. He now as a same length stump but with more padding and a prosthesis fits much better. Clever eh?

paulguitar said:

Have you read Henry Marsh’s books and of so, did you enjoy/relate to them?

Nope. I don't know this man. I don't watch any medical drama or similar as they are laughable inaccurate and I want time off work.
Sci Fi is my thing.

I read War Doctor by David Nott, which made me cry and I now donate to his foundation
I read The Adam Kay book This is Going to Hurt, which I also shed a smal tear to in parts. And then realised I had just as many stories and hadn't written them down, and he was the rich author now.

Although he quit medicine, and I'm not to badly off

Henry Marsh is a retired neurosurgeon. I suspect you’d find his books, which are non-fiction, very interesting.

There are also some fascinating lectures on such subjects as making mistakes that can be found on YouTube.

[PugwasHDJ80]

Is ash cash still a thing?

When was the last time you saw NFN written in notes?

[snoopy25]

has a patient dropped a massive fart on the operating table when you have been mid-surgery?

[CharlesdeGaulle]

TheSecretSurgeon said:

Serious answer: Come over my end and tell me the same when I'm putting your broken bones back into the skin and fixing you up. They are shoes worn in the theatre and nobody in this room cares a single thing about style. The room is 100.00% function.
Amicable answer: They are non-slip, non-sparking (flammable gases), very comfy to wear for a 4 hour operation, and I can put them through the clog washer when they are caked in other humans' blood.

I don't wear socks in my crocs, which is really going to mess with your noggin, so I often have drippy blood on my toes.
but blood is sterile and not that bad.

I thought you'd say something like that. I'd do the same thing of course, although in fairness it's less likely that I'll be putting your broken bones into your skin than you doing it to me.

[HTP99]

snoopy25 said:

has a patient dropped a massive fart on the operating table when you have been mid-surgery?

LOL, love this question!

[xx99xx]

Any truth in the rumours that some doctors go out on heavy lash, then afterwards go back to the hospital to find an empty room and hook themselves up to a drip so they are good to go and hangover free for their morning shift?

Is there a hierarchy amongst surgeons? You know like is a brain surgeon top dog and the ones who remove vibrators lower down the pecking order?

Have you ever been out somewhere and the shout went out 'is there a Dr in the house?'.

Do you get fed up of non medical friends/family asking you to diagnose their problems?

[Tango13]

Ever left something inside someone by mistake?

[K77 CTR]

paulguitar said:

Henry Marsh is a retired neurosurgeon. I suspect you’d find his books, which are non-fiction, very interesting.

There are also some fascinating lectures on such subjects as making mistakes that can be found on YouTube.

I have attend a seminar by Henry Marsh, he is very old school and doesn't mince his words. He has the black humour needed to survive in the job he did especially his role in the Ukraine (I think). He was a very lovely man and I could have sat and listened to his anecdotes all day. He would never survive in today's NHS but he seemed to have the patient at the centre of his mind all the time.

As a Trauma and Orthopaedic nurse I can see the thoughts of the secret surgeon in a lot of our consultants. We had a very similar experience with our junior doctors as he did with nurses so I won't take offence to it.

[Cyder]

Have you ever had an ‘watch this… oh fk’ moment while operating?

[Trophy Husband]

Tango13 said:

Ever left something inside someone by mistake?

Wrong thread?
I'm sure there are loads of divorced fathers who have!

[ApOrbital]

[quote=nuyorican]First off: Wow, what a job. Respect!

This

[valiant]

Ever cut the wrong bit off by mistake?

[Tango13]

Trophy Husband said:

Tango13 said:

Ever left something inside someone by mistake?

Wrong thread?
I'm sure there are loads of divorced fathers who have!

[TheSecretSurgeon]

PugwasHDJ80 said:

Is ash cash still a thing?

When was the last time you saw NFN written in notes?

Ash Cash = Cremation Form 4 = £82

NFN, never seen.
We don't write these things because they are very disrespectful and discriminatory.

What we say about patients however.....

[TheSecretSurgeon]

snoopy25 said:

has a patient dropped a massive fart on the operating table when you have been mid-surgery?

Yes, quite often, last week was the last time.
If you have a spinal injection, instead of tube-in-throat General, then some relaxation occurs and people can float an airbiscuit when we transfer them from trolley to theatre table.

xx99xx said:

Any truth in the rumours that some doctors go out on heavy lash, then afterwards go back to the hospital to find an empty room and hook themselves up to a drip so they are good to go and hangover free for their morning shift?

Is there a hierarchy amongst surgeons? You know like is a brain surgeon top dog and the ones who remove vibrators lower down the pecking order?

Have you ever been out somewhere and the shout went out 'is there a Dr in the house?'.

Do you get fed up of non medical friends/family asking you to diagnose their problems?

Out on Lash: No, never seen this or heard of it. Too much hassle and a disciplinary offence probably.
I have fallen asleep at some bad moments on shift after big nights out,
I'm just working out if I have the balls to tell you about the bad ones.

Doctor in the house: Yes, lots of times, twice on an aircraft, once where I attended to an old lady who was having a stroke above Germany. I helped her and the purser said to me, what next? I said well we need a some proper help.
5 mins later I stood up, having been kneeling in the aisle, and realised we were descending very very fast. Like the gangway was so steep you couldn't stand up. We went from cruise altitude to runway at Geneva in about 5 minutes and the pilot later told me that the manoeuvre would cost Easyjet about £50,000 in fees. The patient did fine.

I witnessed a car crash at about 7am on a rural road, hopped out and attended to a casualty with a GCS of 5 (=bad) for 20 mins until the ambulance arrived. 20 mins with ditch water up to my knees.
He lived.

Friends asking about problems: No this is a deeply flattering request when they ask me.
I've operated on 2 of them

[TheSecretSurgeon]

valiant said:

Ever cut the wrong bit off by mistake?

Another "Never Event" and none in my career

and I'm trying rather hard to have none in my career by the end.

Human's make mistakes, but we, like aviation have multiple levels of checking and redundancy.
Errors happen with complacency, boredom, rushing, seniority dominated teams, and no checklists.